Aftermath
by MrMsMingus
Summary: Annie coming home and starting to deal with the emotional aftermath of the mission to take down Henry.
1. Chapter 1

Annie slid into the black SUV waiting for her on the tarmac unsure where it would take her. Blue Bonnet, headquarters, a blacksite, prison, all were possibilities.

What she didn't expect was to find Auggie sitting beside her and Calder in the drivers seat.

"Welcome Home Walker."

Wide-eyed she thanked Calder and looked over at the lankey man beside her, "Thanks for getting me home Auggie."

A wide grin took over his face, "Anytime Walker, anytime...glad you're home."

She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Am I? Home that is?" She targeted the question at Calder who was pulling onto the road and watching her in the rear-view.

"Well, we aren't sending you back to China anytime soon, but I do have strict orders as to where I am dropping you off."

Annie groaned, "Blue Bonnet?"

Auggie shook his head, "No. At least not yet."

"So where?"

Calder shifted in the drivers seat to halfway look at her, "Walker, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Okay?"

Auggie tugged on her arm, and with his free hand patted his shoulder closest to her, "Yeah, sit back right here."

Annie smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, but it was tense and somehow awkward. There were too many un-spoken words between them. After a minute or two of quiet, she sat up and broke the silence, "Any chance I am going to get updated on what the fallout has looked like?" She heard Auggie take a deep breath beside her as he tried to decide how to answer. "Not from us."

Annie watched the DC landscape fly by them. It was familiar and foreign at the same time. Soon they left the city and were in the suburbs. Calder pulled up to a brick house that Annie knew all too well.

"Alright Walker, this is where we leave you."

Un-buckling her seatbelt she targeted her question at Auggie, "Joan and Arthur's?"

Auggie turned toward her voice with a half grin, "Yes, they want to see you and neither are up to meeting you at Langley."

"Okay...?"

Calder turned around so he could look her in the eye, "Speaking of Langley, we need to get back to the office, so, hate to break up this little reunion, but you need go on inside now."

Auggie squeezed her hand before releasing it, encouraging her to go.

Slowly Annie climbed out of the car and walked up to the front door. Calder was already out of sight by the time she reached up to knock. She paused as her mind flashed back to the first time she visited this house. The day Ben disappeared.

Taking a deep breath she beat the door with a lightly closed fist and waited.

The door opened revealing a very tired looking Arthur Campbell, barefoot and dressed in jeans and a NAVY tee wearing a sling on his left arm. Annie tried her best to filter her facial expression, she had never seen the former DCS dressed so casually.

His face lit up with a warm smile, "Annie, please come inside."

Annie returned his smile and stepped through the doorway. She surveyed the house. Nothing had changed since the last time she had been there. Nothing that is except the baby items strewn everywhere.

Arthur closed the door behind her and motioned for her to enter the living room, "Come sit. Joan is changing McKenzie, she will be out in a minute."

She took one of the armchairs and Arthur moved a baby blanket to sit across from her on the couch. "I wanted to thank you personally for everything you have done..."

"It really isn't necessary..." She interrupted.

Arthur pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at her, "...yes it is. You have exposed a traitor, at extreme personal expense. I know this mission will take you some time to get over, but I want you to know I am thankful for everything you have done, and that we are here for you. Whatever you need. However we can help."

Annie bit her lip and nodded.

"And Walker, I am proud of you. You have evolved into a fine operative." He relaxed back into the couch and watched her face contort as she tried to find a response.

"Thank you, sir."

Just as an awkward silence began to settle over the room, Joan came down the stairs, long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She wore yoga pants with a white tank top and blue sweater and was carrying a tiny porcelain skinned baby wrapped in blue in her arms. Annie stood when she entered the room.

"Annie." Joans face was tired but still full of emotion as she looked the girl over, "It is so good to have you home." She walked over to the brunette and wrapped an arm around her. Annie reciprocated. Pulling away her eyes fell on the blue bundle between them.

"McKenzie, meet Annie...Annie..." Joan met Annies eyes and continued, "meet baby McKenzie." She tipped her arm up so Annie could see his face, "Do you want to hold him?"

Annie looked at her wide-eyed. It wasn't that she had never held a baby before, she had helped her sister with her nieces, but she was a different person then. Today she was afraid to hold the child. He was so perfect, so innocent. The thought of touching him frightened Annie as if the remnants of her life in the dark would transfer to him.

"I uh...I...I don't..." She stuttered trying to find the words, but Joan didn't wait for an answer. Pulling on the protective instincts she knew her operative possessed she moved to drop the baby in her arms even tho the shocked girl was un-prepared. Annie instinctively opened her arms and held him.

His wide dark eyes starring up at her made Annies fill with tears. "Joan he is so perfect."

She smiled and gazed at her sons face running a finger along his cheek, "He is."

Arthur stood and pulled his ringing phone from his pocket, "I have to take this" he said moving towards Joan he kissed her lightly on the cheek. Looking over at Annie and his son he grinned, "I'll let you catch up. I'm gonna be in the office if you need anything." He then turned to go deeper into the house as he pulled his phone to his ear, "Hello..."

Annie turned away from where Arthur had disappeared down the hall and met Joans concerned eyes that had been taking a mental inventory of her.

"Do you want anything to drink Annie? Tea, coffee, water?"

"No, I'm fine, but thank you."

"How is Auggie?"

"Fine. He seemed fine, but things between us are complicated right now."

Joan nodded and took the arm chair beside where Annie stood, "Sit Annie."

Annie slowly sank into the arm chair watching the baby as if he were a time bomb afraid any movement would set him off. He gurgled and waved is hands. Annie instinctively offered him her finger. His hand wrapped around as she soothingly rubbed his tiny, soft hands. She forgot how fragile babies seemed. Helpless. Unable to survive on their own.

Joans cautious voice interrupted her thoughts, "Annie, are you okay?"

Annie's wide eyes shot up from the baby to meet Joan's. "Yeah, I'm fine. Tired, in need of a shower but I'm..."

"Annie, don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Now, lets try this again, are you okay?" Her voice was firm but not angry.

Annies gaze flickered back down to the baby, "I...I uhhh..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm overwhelmed. The entire trip home I just tried to sort through my thoughts, but it's like, like..." her voice trailed off.

"Like there is a war inside of you in spite of the war around you ending?" Joan asked with a question in her voice.

Annie looked up and met her gaze, "Yeah."

Joan nodded, "Are you sleeping?"

"A little..." her brow furrowed and she paused to find the words, "...no, not really...Joan, I killed him. He was un-armed and I know he wasn't the first person I've killed, but, it...its different...when I close my eyes the moment replays in my mind...maybe Lena was right..."

Joan leaned toward Annie, "Lena?"

"She told me something right before I uh..." Annie shook her head but continued, "...she said killing someone for malice changes you. That once you do you can never look at yourself in the mirror again...she was armed, I can justify it within myself, call it self defense, but for all Henry did to, to us...at that moment, he was un-armed, vulnerable. The scariest part is, I don't know who looks back at me in the mirror anymore. Nothing is simple it's all so..." Silent tears fell down her cheeks, "...so confusing." The baby in her arms cooed and attracting Annies brown eyes.

Joan was silent, watching the war inside of Annie play out on her face. She carefully re-adjusted herself to the edge of the seat and paused to choose her words, "Annie, I never went dark so I can't imagine what you went through while you were on your own." Joan leaned against the armrest and clasped her hands, "I wanted him brought back here, to face prison, the legal system because I believe in our judicial system. But Annie, when I sat in the hospital waiting to find out if Arthur had survived the assassin, I realized Henry wasn't going to stop. Malice, in a legal sense, implies the intention behind the action was wrong." Annie timidly returned her eyes to meet Joans, "Annie, you are a linguist, so you understand the importance of choosing the right word, I want you to think about why you had to pull that trigger, what was your intention?"

McKenzie began to fuss as Annie combed through her inventory of words. Readjusting the baby so she could bounce him, which successfully soothed him, she replied, "To protect Auggie, and..and you guys."

Joan smiled sadly at the girl, "There was nothing wrong with the intentions behind your actions. Auggie, Arthur, and I would do the same thing to protect you. So, no, what Lena said is irrelevant. You didn't kill out of malice you killed to defend."

Annie nodded, but remained silent.

"Annie, look at me for a minute..." The dark haired girl rolled her eyes and forced them to meet Joans, "...it will take time, and you will never be the same, but, you will get to where you recognize yourself in the mirror again, and aren't afraid of what you see. The war in you will end just like the war with Henry did."

Annie blew her bangs out of her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh, "When?"

"That I don't know, just take it one day at a time." Joan motioned to the baby in Annies arms, "Someone is a sleepy man."

Annie jerked her eyes down to see the baby boy sound asleep. He looked so peaceful, "Can't say I blame him." She said with a laugh.

"Come, I'll show you the nursery and you can put him down. He is due for a nap and I could do an early dinner, if you're hungry?"

Knowing it was less of a question and more of an order, Annie nodded before carefully standing and slowly following Joan down the hall and up the stairs.

The nursery was blue and decorated with airplanes. A crib took up the far wall flanked by a rocking chair and a corner bookcase filled with children's books and antique model airplanes. She moved to put the baby in Joans arms, but his mom shook her head.

"Put him down for me? It's hard for me to lean over the crib, I am still really sore."

"Oh, yeah sure." Annie walked the baby over to the crib and carefully inched him towards the mattress. She managed to set McKenzie down and not wake him. Breathing a sigh of relief she turned to face Joan a look of pride on her face.

Joan chuckled and whispered, "Mission accomplished" she motioned for Annie to follow her and spoke in a low voice to not wake the baby, "Have you given any thought to where you are going to stay?"

Annie stuttered and gave Joan a confused look as she watched her carefully crack the nursery door. "Uh, no...I'm guessing I don't have an apartment anymore?" Joan shook her head and Annie continued, "...and staying with Auggie is probably a bad idea so, no I haven't."

Nodding Joan walked down the hall and opened the door at the end, "Then you can stay here, in the guest room until you figure all that out."

Annie raised her hands in protest, "No, I couldn't you just had a baby and I..."

Interrupting the girls argument Joan firmly stated, "You need a place to stay, and yes, I did just have a baby and my husband was just stabbed and only has one arm. Having an extra set of hands around would be nice." She looked at Annie with a raised eyebrow daring her to say no.

"I...umm, okay."

With a decisive nod Joan responded, "Okay. I am going to warm up one of the dishes our neighbors dropped off. How long has it been since you showered?"

"Do I smell that bad?"

Joan rolled her eyes, "There is a change of clothes on the bed. They are mine, pre-baby so hopefully they fit. Towels are on the bathroom counter. Shower, then dinner." Joan turned on her bare heel and headed back down the stairs leaving no room for agrument.

Arthur was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Eavesdropping?"

He grinned, "Sorry, can't help it. Is she staying?"

Joan walked past him, "Yes. You were right, she does need something to live for. Helping me with the baby will be a nice distraction until she figures everything out."

She turned on the oven and went to get a casserole out of the freezer.

"Arthur, you're hovering." she said as she slid the pan into the oven and closed it before turning to face him.

"How is she?" he asked.

"She is beating herself up and...honestly, I'm worried."

Arthur nodded and opened his good arm, inviting her in. She happily stepped into his embrace, careful not to cause him any pain. He kissed the top of her head. "Arthur, she has to be okay."

"She will be. Annie is a strong girl. We will be here for her. When she is ready for him to be, Auggie will be too." She nodded and buried her face in his neck when their sons shrill cry broke their silent embrace.

"He probably needs to be fed." She put a hand on her husbands chest, "If the oven beeps before I get back down, can you take dinner out?"

Arthur nodded.

"And keep and ear out for Annie." She ordered as she headed up the stairs.

Arthur leaned against the kitchen counter and listened to his wife talking soothingly to calm down their son and whispered under his breath trying to convince himself, "She has to be okay."

* * *

**Yeah, couldn't help myself. This season ended so happy but with so many loose ends. I needed Annie home, safe, with parental figures there to help her sort through the emotional mess that is the aftermath of what she went through that we saw hints of as she walked away from Henry. This story picks up three days after the last scene. **


	2. Chapter 2

Annie moved quietly through the Campbells house dressed in a pair of Joans jeans that were a size too big and a purple v-neck sweater, dark wet hair pulled back into a messy bun. Her socked feet shuffled along the hardwood floor towards the kitchen. She hadn't worn a pair of clean, white socks in months. Looking through the pile of clothes she fixated on the pair of white ankle socks. Clean socks were a luxury she couldn't afford in the dark.

Seeing no one in the living room or dining room but perceiving what smelled like an Italian dish in the kitchen, she stealthily moved to stand in the doorway between the dining room and kitchen.

Arthur was standing against the counter watching the clock on the oven count down from 4 seconds. He reached and turned the timer off just before it beeped and grabbed a potholder with his good hand. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, "Walker, mind getting a bottle of red wine out of the wine cabinet beside you?"

Annie was a little startled he had noticed her, "Yeah, um…you sure you got that?" eyeing the hot pan of lasagna in the oven and his wrapped arm.

Arthur shook his head dismissively, "This I can handle."

Nodding Annie opened the waist high wine cabinet. Spotting a bottle of Chianti she lifted it from the rack and closed the door. That's when she noticed the red mark on the wall behind the cabinet. Leaning over the top she saw the blood smeared down the wall and realized it was where Joan killed her assassin. Her eyes were widened in shock. Anger, fear, sadness, spun an emotional web in her mind.

Pan of lasagna in hand, Arthur set it onto the hotplate sitting on the dinning room table. He observed the dark haired girl running a hand over the red stain on the wall he had tried to cover up. "If that cabinet were just a few inches taller you would never know that was there."

His voice startled the girl causing her to nearly jump out of her skin as she turned to face him. "I'm so sorry she had to go through that, and you, I'm so sorry that…."

"Why are you apologizing for Henry? None of this is your fault."

Giving the bottles label un-needed attention she spoke in a small voice, "I know, I just wonder if I could have done something different to, to prevent all of this."

"Walker, if it weren't for you, we would still be watching our backs and living in fear. We all had something taken from us." Annie watched emotion take over his features. She knew he was thinking of Teo. Joan was right, he was still grieving.

Swallowing down her self-pity she looked at her former boss with compassion, and tried to lighten the mood "Where are the wine glasses?"

Arthur patted the chair in front of him and met her eyes, "In the hutch beside you. I will get dishes and utensils. Check on Joan for me when you're done?" he asked raising his voice as he entered the kitchen, "See how much longer till she is ready to eat?"

Annie set the glasses on the table as Joan walked in carrying McKenzie, "She is ready now."

Annies eyes shot up. Joan grinned at her, "So, my jeans are a little big on you."

"They're fine." She said shaking her head and returning her smile.

"Hopefully you won't be in them for long. Calder is working on getting your things out of the CIA storage facility from when he raided your place." Joan rolled her eyes remembering his idiotic actions. "Until then, feel free to wash the clothes you do have, there is a mudroom with the washer and dryer behind the kitchen.

Arthur set the stack of plates and forks on the table before turning his attention to the newborn in his wifes arms, "Hows my boy?" He said leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Annie felt awkward watching this family moment so made herself useful arranging the plates and utensils on the table.

"Sill perfect. Has a full tummy and a clean diaper…for now." Arthur chuckled and kissed the side of Joans head. "You know the benefit of being stabbed is being unable to change those diapers."

Joan grinned slyly and narrowed her eyes at him, "Oh, you will get to change your fair share in a few weeks. I assure you."

Finishing her task, Annie crossed her arms and tried to make herself invisible.

Joan noticed her awkwardness and tried to help, "Okay, lets eat."

Arthur pulled out a chair for Joan and Annie took the one she was standing behind. Being the only one with two free and working hands she took it upon herself to serve dinner and pour the wine.

"When did you three get released from the hospital?"

Arthur spoke with his mouth half full, "This morning. Calder dropped us off before he went to get you."

They quickly ran out of small talk about the nurses in the hospital, how funny it was that both parents were forced to allow themselves to be wheeled out of the hospital. Annie caught Joan looking over at the wall behind the wine cabinet periodically. Every time she did she pulled McKenzie closer to her chest. A heavy silence began to settle over the room, Arthur spoke first trying to alleviate the effect of the atmosphere, "Annie we need to update you on a few things." Annie settled back into her seat and met Arthurs eyes. Joan added onto his statement and narrowed her eyes at the dark haired girl sitting across from her, "But only if you are ready to talk about it."

Annie nodded, "I'm good. What has the fallout looked like? What is next?"

Joan glanced at Arthur who nodded, telling her to carry the conversation.

"Did Auggie tell you about Braithwaite?'

"That he was working for Henry and when everything came to light he, um…." She shook her head and looked down at her plate not wanting to say it.

"Calder is acting DCS, provisionally. Auggie got back from China yesterday and he and Calder visited us at the hospital to inform me the DNI would go through the official process of replacing Braithwaite when I was up to interviewing for the position."

"Are you going too?"

Joan glanced from Annie to the baby, to Arthur before sitting up straight and responding "Yes, I will." Her eyes watching her husband shift uncomfortably beside her.

Annie bit her lip and pushed her food around on her plate, "What about Arthur?"

He took a sip of his wine, "What about me?"

"Are you still fighting jail time, are you going to work for the CIA or...?"

"Well, I won't be going to jail. The charges were dropped this morning. The DNI called when you first arrived to inform me they would be having a star ceremony for Teo. Will I work for the CIA? There are some options on the table to explore, but I will not come back as DCS."

Joan sensed Annies next question and answered it before she could ask it, "Auggie has been moved back out of IT. Calder lobbied to have him as acting head of the DPD again until we find a permanent solution." She narrowed here eyes at Annies surprised facial expression, "I'm surprised he didn't tell you when he picked you up…?"

Annie smiled weakly and nodded, "It was a short car ride."

As Annie finished her statement, the baby in Joans arms started wailing.

Joan lifted him so she could see his face and spoke in a soft, comforting voice that Annie never imagined she possessed. Seeing her former boss in this role was going to take some time to get used too, "What is it baby Mack? Can momma finish eating?" He only cried louder. Annie stood and motioned to her empty plate, "I'm done, I could take him, so you can eat?"

Joan smiled gratefully, "You sure you don't mind? He probably has a messy diaper."

Annie walked over and reached for the child in Joan's arms, "No. I don't mind at all."

She took him and walked to the nursery, bouncing him in her arms and speaking comfortingly to him. He almost instantly stopped crying and started happily starring at Annie.

Joan turned in her seat to watch them go up the stairs before meeting her husbands eyes, "What?"

He chuckled, "Nothing."

Joan narrowed her eyes and tilted her head at him, "Seriously?"

"You are an amazing mother."

Joan blushed and continued eating. Arthur contemplatively pushed his food around his plate, "You notice she didn't ask about herself, about what was next for her?"

Nodding and taking a moment to swallow Joan sighed, "I know. I think she is afraid of the answer."

* * *

Annie changed baby McKenzies diaper and took a seat in the rocking chair. She rocked and spoke to him in a low voice, "Hey McKenzie, you know you are one lucky baby boy?" She looked into his eyes and touched his miniature nose with her finger, "Your parents love you so much and would do anything for you." Her mind flashed back to her father, the day he left, her mothers angry tears. Annie blinked back the tears in her own eyes, "And you have a dad who is never going to let you go, I never realized how much he loves your mom. You will always be safe and loved."

After the dishes were cleared Joan and Arthur headed upstairs to check on Annie and McKenzie. They stood in the doorway and exchanged grinning glances after they saw Annie asleep in the rocking chair and McKenzie asleep in her arms.

Joan stepped into the room and gently woke Annie, "Hey"

She looked shocked and embarrassed, quickly glancing down to check on the baby.

Standing to her full height Joan smiled down at them.

"I'm sorry, I must have been really tired. Do you want me to put him in the crib?"

Shaking her head Joan reached down and cradled her son in her own arms, "No, we are all apparently exhausted. It's a little early, but Arthur and I are going to turn in, he will sleep in our room at night. I think it will be easier for me to feed him when he wakes every few hours. I suggest you put your tired self to bed as well."

Annie stood and nodded.

"Come with me for a minute and I will find you something to sleep in."

Arthur, who had been silently standing in the doorway interjected, "I am going to lock up. Joan do you need anything from downstairs?"

"I don't but the stuff to change your bandages is in the living room somewhere, bring that up with you."

He shot her a childish grin, "Yes ma'am."

As he walked away a chuckle escaped Annies lips attracting un-wanted attention from Joan as the two headed toward the master bedroom, "Sorry Joan, I've just never seen Arthur so laid back, or you for that matter."

"Mmmm."

Joan entered the room and headed straight towards the basinet to lay down McKenzie who didn't stir or make a sound. Annie opted to stay in the doorway. She watched Joan open a few drawers coming up with black silk pajama pants and a green long sleeve tee. She placed them in Annie's hands and clamped down onto the clothes and her hands to prevent the dark haired operative from walking away. She looked Annie in the eye intensely, "Annie, if you need anything, please let me know. You are home, and you are safe so try to sleep. Please."

Annie smiled weakly and nodded "I will."

Turning to head to the guestroom down the hall she turned right into Arthur who was standing behind her, "I apologize in advance if McKenzie wakes you up. But make yourself at home. If you get hungry, everything in the kitchen is game and, if you can't sleep there are DVDs in the closet in the living room."

"Thank you" she said smiling at Arthur, turning to Joan she added, "both of you."

Joan nodded, "Goodnight Annie."

Once her dark head disappeared into the hall Joan turned her attention to her husband, "Okay, lets change those bandages before baby Mack wakes up."

Arthur sat on the bed where he could watch his son sleep as his wife gingerly removed his sling. He grit his teeth and inhaled to keep from wincing.

"I'm sorry."

"No, its okay. How are you healing up?" He asked in an attempt to distract some of her attention from his wounds, she glanced at him for a moment, "I'm sore, but I am fine."

Joan slowly helped him out of his shirt and carefully un-wrapped his arm and side. Tears filled her eyes. It was the first time she had changed his bandages, and the first time she had seen the full extent of the damage. She couldn't stop the gasp, "My God Arthur." He reached for her hand with his good one, "Joan, I'm okay, I'm here." She nodded but still didn't meet his eyes and proceeded to re-bandage his wounds.

Once Arthur was back in his sling and settled comfortably in the bed she went to take a quick shower while McKenzie was asleep. Emerging ten minutes later she found her husband leaning over the basinet talking to their son. Watching the two of them filled her heart in a way she felt she could explode with happiness. She walked toward him and leaned over the basinet capturing his lips in hers.

"What was that for?"

She smiled at him, "For being you, for being here, for talking to him the way you just did."

Arthur smiled and moved over to his side of the bed watching as Joan carefully settled in beside him. She laid her head in his lap letting him run his fingers through her wet hair, "What are we going to do about Annie?" she whispered.

His hand paused for a moment before returning to the rhythmic strokes, "Give her space, make sure she feel safe, and if need be, confront her. She won't get over it if we let her go inside herself."

Joan nodded and sighed, "I know. I know all too well."


	3. Chapter 3

_"How did you find me?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"It always matters."_

Annie gasped and shot up straight in bed. Subconsciously she had reached for the firearm that was sitting on her nightstand and pointed it at the wall in front of her. Panting, her eyes scanned the room as she slowly remembered where she was. Looking down the length of her extended arms she found the gun in her hands, held tightly and ready for a war. Unable to catch her breath she threw the sheets that were now drenched in sweat off of her. A glance at the clock told her it was just after 4am.

She sat on the edge of the bed, placing the gun beside her and running a hand through her matted tangled hair. Around midnight she had finally relaxed enough to sleep.

At 2am the baby's shrill cries had wakened her.

Now her worst nightmare had taken sleep away from her as it had done often over the past few nights.

Henry Wilcox's last words still reverberating in her mind, she pressed her palms on the sides of her head and groaned. She stood and tucked the gun away. Walking into the small guest bath she splashed water on her face and tied her hair back. Sleep wasn't worth it if it meant waking like this every few hours.

She glanced at herself in the mirror for a moment before quickly looking away. How could she fell so heavy and hard inside, but still hollow, still broken. Pacing her room, she looked for a distraction, she needed something to do.

Her tired eyes fell onto the small pile of clothes on the floor. She picked them up and quietly headed downstairs to find the washing machine. She entered the kitchen through the dining room and found the door to the mudroom opposite where she stood.

Realizing the sound would wake Joan and Arthur she dumped the clothes into the washer but didn't start it. She opened the door to her left which brought her out into the hall across from Arthurs study. Her socked feet tip-toed back down the main hall over to the window in the dining room.

There she stood and watched the wind blow through the nearly bare trees. The occasional car drove by. The sun started to slowly warm the sky. An early morning jogger crossed through her field of view. It was peaceful to watch something so normal, so predictable.

* * *

Joan woke to her sons small whimpers, the precursors to the eardrum splitting shrill cry that would follow. She was a light sleeper and had woken to his whimpers every couple of hours. The cry had only filled the silent house once, startling Arthur and probably Annie awake. That is, if she had fallen asleep.

She reached into the basinet beside her bed. Pulling him to her chest she whispered to his small ears, "Hey sweetie, it's okay, mommys up." After a moment she realized he wasn't hungry, and his diaper was dry, she had been up with him less than an hour ago. He needed nothing but his whimpering hadn't ceased. "McKenzie, what is wrong?" she pleaded before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

She slowly and very gingerly worked her way out of the bed. Maneuvering into her robe she saw her husband begin to stir. "Okay, lets go for a walk so daddy can sleep."

She began pacing the hall, bouncing the baby in her arms, whispering to him. Walking past the guest room she noticed the door open. She poked her head into the room and realized it was empty. Craning her neck she saw the bathroom was empty as well. Panic started to rise in her, worry that Annie had run off.

Walking down the stairs in search of her operative, she realized the lights were all off. She felt her heart drop to her stomach. It wouldn't be the first time an operative just in from the cold decided to split. Her heart was racing when finally she saw Annie. Standing in the dining room looking out the window. The moonlight lit her face in an eerie way. Her arms were crossed, her posture rigid, her hair matted. She looked exhausted.

Joan knew sneaking up on her was a bad idea, so she cautiously whispered from the hall, "Annie?"

Her dark head whipped around to face Joan as her hand simultaneously reached for, what Joan assumed to be her gun stuffed into her pajama pants. "Annie, it's just me."

Annie gasped and relaxed, "I'm sorry Joan, I didn't mean to wake you."

Joan shook her head dismissively and slowly moved toward the dark haired girl and saw she was shaking, "You didn't, he did." She said motioning to the now silent and relaxed child in her arms.

Annie breathed a sigh of relief.

"What are you doing down here? Did you sleep at all?"

"A few hours. I uh, this time when I woke up I just decided, I mean I knew I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep so…."

"How long have you been up?"

"About an hour."

"Are you armed?"

A guilty look washed over Annies face.

Joan raised an eyebrow at the girl and took a step closer so she was in arms length, "Can you disarm your weapon and put it on the dining room table for me?"

Annie furrowed her brow and bit the inside of her cheek, but didn't move to obey Joans request.

"Annie, now!" This time her stern tone of voice left no question, it was an order, not a request. McKenzie, who had been falling asleep as the whole ordeal played out opened his eyes in full alertness as his mothers tone of voice changed.

Annie slowly removed the gun from its home behind her back and removed the clip of ammo. Leaning over she set each separately onto the table.

_"How did you know it wasn't loaded?"_

_"Because you are a scorpion and every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie."_

Annie clenched her eyes shut and grit her teeth, trying to force the memories out of her mind.

Joan narrowed here eyes and watched Annies face contort, and wishing she knew what was tormenting her so.

"Annie?"

Her eyes flew open and she stood up straight removing her hands from the weapon.

Joan sighed, "Can you hold McKenzie for me?"

Annie nodded and held out her arms to take him. He happily stretched his little body before snuggling into Annie and closing his eyes.

Joan relaxed as she watched Annies faces soften, her eyes no longer fierce as they gazed at McKenzie's face in awe of him. That baby was good for her.

Knowing it was time for some tough love Joan took a deep breath, "Alright…I am going to make some tea, and you are going to sit with me and drink it, and we are going to talk about why you aren't sleeping." She had that look on her face. One that Annie recognized. It was the look she generated when she gave orders she knew wouldn't be well received.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Annie was seated beside Joan on the couch. A sleeping baby in her left arm and a warm cup of tea in her right hand. She tried to relax, tucking a leg under her and leaning against the armrest, but the knowledge of the impending conversation had her on edge.

Taking a sip of her tea, Joans eyes peered over the rim of the mug at her. "Where do you want to start?"

"Where do you want me to start?" she asked with an edge in her voice as she set her mug onto the coffee table in front of her.

"How about with what woke you tonight?"

Annie nodded and looked down at the sleeping baby boy in her arm, "I had a nightmare." She scoffed at herself hearing how pathetic that sounded. She glanced at Joan who tilted her head to the side and bent her eyes with compassion encouraging her to elaborate.

"Sometimes I dream Henry is chasing me, or has a gun to Auggies head, or…Goodman is on top of me again…or Teo…" her voiced cracked as she said his name, "…I see him beside me in the car, life draining out of him." She blew air through her pursed lips and re-gained her composure "….or like tonight, the moment before I killed him, it just replays in my mind, what he said…in my dream I'm never quite sure if I pulled the trigger or not. I wake up fearing I didn't actually take out Goodman or Henry and I just…can't-go-back-to sleep…." McKenzie had started to stir in her arms, Annie probed his fist with her finger, encouraging him to hold onto her and relax.

Joan watched with sad eyes, "Well, I am no therapist, but…when I still did fieldwork..." She reached with her hand to the desk behind her but quickly brought the hand back to her lap as she inhaled sharply in pain.

"Joan, are you okay?" Her voice laced with concern.

Giving Annie a shy smile, she explained, "I forget I am still healing and keep twisting in ways that cause me pain."

She gingerly stood and walked around to the desk she had been reaching for, setting her mug down she fingered though the pile of papers in search of something as she explained, "One thing that helped me sleep after a mission overwhelmed me, is…." She found a notebook and held it up for Annie to see "…this. Especially after Jonathan." She raised her eyebrows at Annie as she walked back around and settled back into the couch.

Taking a deep breath she continued, "I would wake up in a cold sweat, panicky. The nightmares would scare the hell out of me and after we got married, my abrupt waking would scare Arthur as well. He actually taught me to do this..."

Joan flipped through the notebook and tore out a few pages form the front that were written in before handing it to Annie, "When you wake up, write the dream down. Every detail, and when you don't know how it ends, make up an ending. In the case of how it actually ended, try writing it as it happened, how you felt, what you perceived."

Annie nodded and put the notebook down on the couch to try to soothe the whimpering baby in her arms. He reached for the top of Annies shirt.

"Here, let me take him, I think he is hungry." Glancing at the clock she read 6am. "Yeup, it's time for him to eat again."

To keep Joan from having to lean across the couch, she stood and placed the baby into his mothers arms.

"Hey sweet boy." She said in that high pitched tone Annie was still trying to adjust too, "Annie, can you hand me the blanket over there on the chair."

Retrieving the blanked she handed it to Joan, "Will it bother you if I nurse him here?"

Annie blinked and considered saying yes and excusing herself, "Uh, no. Danielle used to nurse my nieces around me, and anyone else in the room." She said with an awkward chuckle.

Sitting back down she picked up the notebook and turned through a couple of pages while Joan draped the blanket over her shoulder and got adjusted. Once McKenzie was happily being fed she addressed her young operative again, "So, why are you carrying a gun in my house?"

Annie closed the notebook and smoothed her ponytail back with a hand, "Habit?"

"Annie…" Her eyes and voice were intensely glaring past Annies veiled explanation.

She exhaled and rolled here eyes, "Part of me is still on the run, or thinks it should be."

"Well, you aren't. So, that gun needs to stay somewhere other than in your bedroom."

"But Joan…." Annie protested.

"No, 'But Joan,' the war is over, and I don't want you to hurt yourself or anyone else accidentally, so that gun is staying down here. Got it?"

"Yeah." She said rolling her eyes and flipping the notebook over in her hands.

"I am going to finish feeding him, and go wake Arthur to change his bandages and help him get dressed. I want you to try to take a nap. I'll wake you once I have breakfast ready."

Annie opened her mouth to protest and propose she make breakfast but her un-voiced argument was met with Joans un-spoken glare that caused Annie to close her mouth and nod in compliance.

She stood to head upstairs when Joan requested her attention for another moment. Annie turned to face the woman, "Arthur has some errands to run and will need someone to drive him. Do you mind playing chauffeur later today?" She said with a half grin.

"No, not at all."

"Thanks Annie, now go sleep."


	4. Chapter 4

Just after noon, Annie plopped onto the drivers seat of the Campbells black BMW dressed in her newly cleaned black pants and Joan's purple sweater. Arthur, dressed in his normal suit and tie, slammed the passenger door beside her with his good arm.

"So, where are we going?" Annie asked as she put the key in the ignition.

Reaching into his sports jacket pocket Arthur pulled out a folded piece of paper, "To the drugstore to get whatever is on this list from Joan, but first, we need to go into Langley."

Annie was halfway out of the driveway when she slammed on the brakes. The sudden jolt caused Arthur to wince in pain, "Langley?"

Arthur took a deep breath and nodded, "Yes. I have a meeting with the DNI and DCI, and you have a polygraph." It was then she realized he was way overdressed to just be running to the drugstore.

Gritting her teeth Annie tried to control her anger, "A polygraph?"

"Probably your first of many. After your poly you have an evaluation then a meeting with Calder and the DCI."

"You mean a psych evaluation?"

"Yes..." Annie opened her mouth to argue but Arthur continued his statement, silencing her rebuttal, "...you and I both know you will need help to adjust. My understanding is that today will be just an evaluation, seeing where you are."

Annie exhaled frustratedly and looked at the roof of the car.

"Walker, if you aren't up for it, I can have them put it off one more..."

She interrupted her former boss as she looked in the rearview and resumed backing out of the driveway, "No, no….I want to get this over with."

The rest of the car ride was silent and tense. A million thoughts were running through Annies mind. How would people react to her coming back from the dead? What were they going to ask her to re-live? What was this shrink going to say was wrong with her? But mostly, what if she sees Auggie? Her stomach twisted into knots thinking about the oncoming, unavoidable conversation.

Arthur watched his former operative closely. He noted how intensely she stared ahead at the road, her tight grip on the steering wheel, her set jaw and furrowed brow. He knew this would be hard for her, but he was beginning to realize he had no idea just how taxing it would be for her emotionally.

The route was second nature and she drove mindlessly arriving at the barrier far too fast for her liking. Realizing neither had an ID, Annie looked at Arthur with a questioning glance, "What do we tell them at the gate?"

"I'll handle it." He responded calmly with a reassuring smile.

Ten minutes later they were parked in visitors parking. Annie reached to open the door but froze, "Arthur?"

He paused and released the door handle to give her his full attention.

"Today, when they ask, do I tell them everything? Is there anything I need to hold back?"

He sighed, "My instinct is yes, you tell them everything, but honestly, I don't know. I don't know every detail of what you went through. No one does but you and I know you can lie to beat the polygraph, but I think it will be beneficial if you are completely honest. There is no precedent; an operative coming in from the cold like you are is a unique event."

Annie nodded and took a pained breath, "I was afraid you would say that."

After obtaining visitors passes and getting through security, a short Hispanic woman came to lead Annie to polygraph. Just as she turned to leave, Arthur placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, his eyes piercing her blank stare, "Today won't be easy, but you can do this Walker. Take it one question at a time." He nodded and gave her a smile that exuded encouragement, "I will see you in a few hours."

Annie forced a smile and mumbled a yes sir before turning to follow her escort down to the polygraph room.

* * *

With no way of knowing just how long she had sat in that polygraph room Annie just went with it had been all night. Question after question, they had forced her to re-live the entire event in summary. Sticking to the facts, she left emotion out of the equation. She told the truth, knowing there would be more polygraphs and keeping that many lies straight would be impossible. Once she finally entered the hallway outside the polygraph room she relaxed against the cool wall. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath.

The double doors to her right opened a moment later, "Operative Walker?"

Standing up straight and opening her eyes, Annie saw a man in a suit eyeing her with narrowed grey eyes. The man looked older than Arthur. Short grey hair, he was unassuming and authoritative.

"Yes, I'm Annie Walker."

"I am Dr. Peterson."

Annie laughed through her nose and cocked her head sideways, "My shrink?"

He poked his chin out and crossed his arms, "Lets go with evaluator for now. Follow me please." He motioned in the direction of the door behind him and Annie drug her feet to fall in step with him. It was then she noticed how tall the man was. Easily six feet. They walked silently to the elevator, and silently down the hall on the second floor as they headed to his office.

"Take a seat Miss Walker." He waved her toward an armchair. Sitting she watched him grab his notebook and pen before coming to settle across form her. The clock on his wall said it was a little after 4pm. She had been in polygraph for four hours. _It felt longer_ she mused.

Her eyes scanned his office looking for cues to help her figure him out before he could figure her out. There was only one photo and it was on his desk, facing away from her. According to his diploma, he did his undergraduate and graduate work at Vanderbilt, but the photo of Neyland Stadium told her he was a Vols fan. Good chance he grew up in Tennessee. Consistent with the southern drawl he had in his speech. Wedding band, so married...

"How are you feeling Miss Walker? I know you have had a long day." His question interrupted her thoughts and she met his eyes for a moment before quickly looking away, afraid he would read her mind.

"Feelin just fine."

"Miss Walker, do you know why you're here?"

She sat back into the armchair and crossed her legs propping up an elbow and talking with her hand, "So you can decide if I'm crazy or not?" He raised a coarse grey eyebrow at her, "Okay, no, I don't know. Arthur called it an evaluation."

"That it is. Just an evaluation. My job is to help you sort through everything that happened while you were on your own. Help you re-adjust and assess whether or not you can be cleared for fieldwork."

Annie bit the inside of her cheek.

"So, Miss Walker, how are you feeling?"

She took a deep breath and clasped her hands in her lap, "Uh…kinda tired. Four hours of polygraph questions tend to be pretty draining." Sarcasm laced her voice.

He nodded "I sympathize with you on that. Are you sleeping?"

"Why is everyone so concerned about my sleeping habits?"

"Because, sleep is how your brain and body heal themselves. After a trauma, especially, healthy sleeping habits are important. Are you having a hard time falling asleep, experiencing night terrors, waking up in a panic?"

Despite her attempts to control it she was sure her mouth gaped open for a moment before she responded, "I have nightmares."

"Wanna tell me about them?"

She rolled her eyes and suppressed a yawn, "Well, last night I dreamt about tracking Henry in China, but I woke up before…before I pulled the trigger."

"And how did you feel when you woke up?"

"I don't know, uh….scared maybe. I had grabbed my gun in my sleep. I woke up with it in my hand thinking he had gotten away and was….and was still after us."

"Who is us?"

Annie met his eyes and sighed, "Me, Auggie, Joan, Arthur, the baby, Sana, whoever."

"And you sleep with a gun?"

"Yeah, not anymore. Joan took it away after last night."

"Have you shared these feelings with anyone? Joan, Auggie?" He scratched a quick note onto the paper in his lap, looking up at her with his head down when he said Auggies name.

Almost questioning what gave him the right to assume she would talk to Auggie, she realized this was the CIA and it was almost definitely in her file. "Auggie and I aren't exactly talking. But Joan….I told her about the nightmares. She told me to write them down."

His pen met the notebook paper and he spoke without looking at her, "She is a smart woman. I suggest you continue doing that and bring the notebook with you when you come to sessions."

"Sessions? How many of these will it take before I'm cleared?"

"That is up to you. I expect 6 to 12 weeks, but…"

She interrupted as her anger rose, "No offense but I don't want to wait twelve weeks before I know if I can go into the field or not. I'm still not even sure I want to come back!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. Her eyes widened and she looked away.

"Go on, Miss Walker, why don't you want to come back?" He spoke calmly, his tone of voice even and controlled.

"Can you not call me Miss Walker? Just call me Annie. Please."

"Okay, Annie, what makes you feel like you don't want to come back?"

Annie rubbed the side of her aching head with her hand, "I don't know…" She paused and looked Dr. Peterson in the eye, "I don't know if I can work for people that I don't trust and that don't trust me."

Dr. Peterson nodded but was silent and contemplative.

Annie decided to take control of the conversation since her therapist seemed out of questions, "So, are you gonna send me to Blue Bonnet?"

"Do you feel like you need to go to Blue Bonnet?"

Her eyes shot up at the unexpected response, "You're asking me?"

"Yes. If you would feel more comfortable at Blue Bonnet, then I can have you sent there."

She silently shook her head, and he leaned forward, "Annie, right now, you need to be surrounded by people who support you and make you feel safe. I don't want you isolated anymore, and that is why I don't think sending you to Blue Bonnet is a good idea."

Annie took a deep breath and nodded as he continued, "I need to know who you do trust?" Her eyes timidly met his "Who are you going to let in? Joan maybe? What makes you feel safe?"

Grasping her hands together she spoke in a quiet voice, "My sister." Tears were threatening to well up in her eyes so she looked at the ceiling and forced them down. "But I do, I trust Joan."

He sat back into his chair, "Your sister thinks you're dead?"

Annie bit her lip and raised both eyebrows, "Yes, she does."

"Hmmm…." He was silent and deep in thought for a moment before closing his notebook. "Well, Annie, it's almost time for you to head upstairs. If I prescribe you an anti-anxiety pill to help you sleep, will you take it?"

"No."

He jotted down another note and Annie thought she saw the glimmer of a grin as he nodded, "Okay." He stood and reached into his pocket, coming out with a business card in his hand, "Here's my card. That emergency number connects you directly to me."

Annie stood and reached to take the card from his hand but he didn't let go.

"Annie, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

He released the card and Annie nodded, stuffing it into her pocket.

As Dr. Peterson walked around to sit behind his desk he spoke, "I am diagnosing you with PTSD." He sat and leaned forward onto his elbows, "I suggest you come in on a bi-weekly basis and we can work through this together. But Annie, ultimately it is up to you. You have to decide what you want."

Stuffing her hands in her back pockets she inquired, "What if I don't want to do the therapy sessions?"

"You won't be cleared for field work." He was blunt and candid. "Your escort is waiting for you in the hall by now."

Annie nodded and turned to leave.

"Good luck Annie. Hopefully I will see you soon?"

Standing in the doorway she forced a half smile, "Thank you Dr. Peterson."

Closing the door behind her she let out a sigh.

"Annie Walker." A familiar voice called out her name from a few feet down the hall.

She felt her stomach jump into her throat but managed to respond in a normal tone, "Auggie, it's so good to hear your voice."

"Kinda nice hearing yours echo through these hallways as well." He held out his elbow for her to wrap her arm around, which she did.

"So, you're my escort to the seventh floor?"

"Sure am, just like old times."

Annie chuckled remembering the first time she met Auggie. "So, how did it go in there?"

"Okay. Between the 4 hour poly and the 40 minute shrink session I am all talked out." She dropped the not so subtle hint she wasn't ready to talk about where they stood as a couple. She felt his arm go stiff, but he quickly relaxed and recovered, "How's Joan and the baby?" he asked stopping at the elevator.

Annie pushed the button, "They are great. McKenzie is precious and Joan seems to be handling everything like a pro."

The two of them climbed into the elevator. Annie stood hoping someone would come in with them. No such luck. The doors slid shut and the two of them were alone.

"Annie?"

"Hmm?"

"I know now isn't the time or the place, but we do need to talk, and I, I want you to know that…"

Annie cut him off, "It's okay Auggie. I know we do and we will. I promise. Just not now."

"Okay, but I want you to know I am here for you."

The remainder of the ride and walk to the office of the DNI was awkward and quiet. Auggie attempted to lighten the mood, "Well, here is where I drop you off."

"Thanks Auggie, for everything."

He smiled sadly in her general direction, "You know I would do anything for you."

Annie exhaled, unable to find the words as Auggie turned and left her there. A moment later the secretary came to usher her into the office.

Calder, Arthur, and two men she had seen but never met stood when she entered the room.

Arthur took it upon himself to do the introductions, "Annie, you already know Calder, but this is James Clapper, the Director of National Intelligence, and John Brennan, the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency."

Annie shook their hands in sequence, "It's an honor to meet you both." James was an older man, bald, average height. John was probably Arthurs age, although taller and with more facial hair.

John smiled at her, "No, it is our honor to meet you. We know you've had a long day so we won't keep you. We just wanted the chance to thank you for your service to your country. I know things got messy, but we are grateful for what you have sacrificed."

Annie shook her head dismissively and shrugged her shoulders, "I was just doing my job."

Stepping forward, James interjected, "No, you were doing more than your job. Far more. I know it will be a long rough road, sorting through the aftermath of Henrys scheme, but I think we all can agree when I say we are looking forward to the day you are officially reinstated."

"Thank you sir."

James continued, "And as part of Teo's star ceremony we will also recognize your service to this agency by awarding you the Intelligence Medal of Merit for the second time."

Annie nodded and looked at the floor.

"Annie I know this is hard for you right now, but you understand, especially after an event like this, we need to recognize our heroes."

Meeting his eyes she nodded, "Yes sir, and I am honored."

"Good." Turning his attention to Arthur, James went on, "I know you have a newborn to get home too so I won't keep you."

Arthur nodded and shook hands with the three men. Calder came over and squeezed Annies shoulder, "So, you survived your first polygraph." He motioned towards the door and the two of them stood in the lobby.

"Seem to have."

He narrowed his eyes at her and released her shoulder to cross his arms, "How are you doing?"

"I've been better. But, I'll be okay." She smiled unconvincingly at him as Arthur emerged from the DCIs office.

"Okay Annie, ready to go?"

"Yeup. Night Calder."

"Goodnight Annie."

He watched her walk away wondering if Annie Walker would ever really return.


	5. Chapter 5

One night. Seven pages. At this rate she would have carpal tunnel by the new year, she thought to herself as she thumbed through the pages she had filled. Annie closed the notebook for a third time that night and dropped it into her lap.

The evening before she and Arthur had returned home after 7. They ate takeout, and all headed to bed just before 9. The day out had taken a toll on Arthur's healing body, as a day home alone with the baby had taken a toll on Joan. They were physically exhausted. Annie too had felt drained and thankfully the emotional strain the day had put on her left her feeling numb making it easy for her to fall asleep. To sleep and drift off into nightmare after nightmare.

Since it was just before 5am, Annie decided to start her day. She changed out of Joan's pajamas and into her own black pants, black top, and a pair of crisp clean white socks.

Walking into the bathroom she stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. Realizing the black clip on extensions in her hair had seen better days, she combed through her hair and removed them. The black colour had started to grow out and fade. It was now closer to a dark brown and her blonde roots were becoming more visible. She left her natural hair down and combed straight and exited her bedroom.

The house was silent. No crying baby, no shuffling of feet. The light in the master was out so Annie quietly walked downstairs.

Sitting on the couch, she took to folding the pile of baby blankets, clothes and burp rags that had been taken from the dryer and dumped there the night before. Pulling out a white onesie with airplanes on it she rubbed the soft cotton between her fingers. Observing how small the onesie was she wondered how it was possible she herself was ever that small.

Ever that innocent.

Adding it to the folded pile on the coffee table her gaze fell on the red mark protruding from behind the wine cabinet.

Quickly folding the last few items, she stood and strode across the room. As quietly as she could she removed all the wine bottles from the cabinet and carried it back to where it used to stand on the opposite wall.

Entering the kitchen she searched for something to clean the blood with. Finally she found a bucket and a bottle of dish soap under the sink. She set the bucket in the sink and turned on the faucet, letting it fill with warm water as she searched for a rag.

Annie knelt across from the wall and went to work. It took some time before slowly the stain began to dissolve. When she finally rang out the rag for the last time, the wall looked like new. The monotony of cleaning the wall successfully calmed any remnants of panic leftover from her last nightmare.

Dumping the bucket and washing her hands she went back to the folded clothes to bring them up to the nursery. She smiled to herself as she carried the bundle up the stairs as a feeling of genuine happiness set in. Something about stillness of the morning and the simplicity of the tasks made her feel normal and useful.

As she moved about the room putting the laundry away she saw Joan standing in the doorway. Annie froze and slowly turned to face her.

"Joan, uh...did I wake you up?"

"No, and even if you did it would have been okay. We ran out of diapers in the bedroom and little man just woke up wet." She ran a thumb over his cheek and grinned down at her son. Walking over the changing table she addressed Annie without looking at her, "How did you sleep?"

Annie rolled her eyes behind her blonde bosses back and held in a groan. She knew that question was coming. Only two days into this and she was already tired of being asked how she slept. "Better. I woke up a few times, but I didn't have a hard time falling asleep. I've only been up since 4:30."

Joan chuckled and looked at Annie our of the corner of her eye, "Only." The quick glance was followed by a narrow eyed stare, "Did you cut your hair?"

Shaking her head, "No, I had extensions and...I just felt like taking them out this morning."

Flashing the girl a dimpled smile Joan replied, "Well it looks nice." Annie shrugged and put away the last blanket before leaning against the wall between the door and the changing table. "There ya go McKenzie. Clean and dry." She lifted her son off the table and kissed his perfectly round head. He babbled happily looking up at his mother. Annie couldn't help but smile watching the two of them interact.

Joans attention shifted from her son to her operative and she spoke softly, "Annie?." Hearing her name successfully brought her out the trance McKenzie had put her in and she met Joans eyes, "Can you hold him for a bit? I'm going to go take care of Arthurs bandages and make breakfast."

Annie took the happy baby from Joan, "Hey baby boy"

"He just woke up so he will be playful."

Annie smiled at Joan reassuringly, "I've got this."

"I know" Joan replied walking down the hall.

* * *

Two hours later, Arthur and Annie were clearing dishes and Joan had gone upstairs to nurse baby McKenzie. Annie washed and dried, Arthur carried the plates and cups from the dining room a few pieces at a time. Once all the dishes were piled beside Annie he propped himself up in the mudroom door jam leaning against his good arm, "Thank you again for cleaning up the wall. You really didn't have too."

Annie shrugged and kept pushing bubbles around the plate in her hand, "I know, but it was bothering Joan and it was an easy thing to fix so..."

"And it gave you something to do when you woke up at 4am."

"Yeah, that too." She nodded sadly and rinsed the soap off the last plate.

He shifted awkwardly, debating on whether to approach the subject or not. Sensing his awkwardness Annie turned off the water. Drying her hands she pivoted around to face him. There were only a few times she had seen the man speechless, and today she knew what was making him stare at the floor.

Annie crossed her arms and leaned a hip against the kitchen counter, "I have PTSD." The words came out flat and emotionless.

When he met her eyes she expected to see disappointment, but found concern, "I think you kind of knew that already?"

Inhaling and nodding she focused on the wall behind his head.

Joan had snuck downstairs right before Annie turned off the water. The sound of her movements hidden by the sound of the splashing liquid. She knew her dark haired operative had PTSD, but hearing her say it, her empty voice, it made Joans heart ache. She realized they would never know just how much this girl had gone through.

Stepping into the room she broke the silence, "Look who has a happy tummy, a clean bum, and is ready for a nap." She grinned watching her slightly startled husband and operative redirect their attention to her.

Annie watched Arthurs face light up as he walked over to his wife and son giving each a kiss on the cheek.

Looking up at her elated husband Joan spoke with a smile in her voice, "I think today we should give him his first bath?"

Arthur lightly rubbed McKenzie's head and nodded in agreement, "I'm in if you are." He matched Joans wide grin and planted a quick kiss on it.

Looking around her husband she addressed the dark haired girl who was slowly backing out of the room, "Annie, I need to get out of this house. Want to take a walk while this little man sleeps?"

Rubbing her arm with her hand she agreed knowing it wasn't really the innocent suggestion Joan presented it as and DCS or not, it was in Annies best interest to just submit.

Once Arthur was settled on the couch with his son cradled and quickly falling asleep in his good arm the two of them donned trench coats and headed outside.

They walked in tense silence for a couple yards. Every few steps Annie would glance at her former boss expecting her to ask a question, but Joan had already determined letting Annie carry the conversation would be best. She didn't want to force Annie to talk and accidentally push too far making her shut down.

So they walked, side by side.

Walking but getting nowhere.

Silence no longer bothered Annie. For months Annie had lived in silence, no one to talk too, but the heaviness of what needed to be said made this particular period of silence impossibly uncomfortable.

The timing of Joan's need to get out of the house was too much of a coincidence. Annie deduced the woman had heard her tell Arthur about Dr. Petersons' diagnosis.

Annie took a deep breath, watching the little cloud it formed in front of her, "My shrink, Dr. Peterson, said your notebook thing was a good idea and I should keep it up."

Giving Annie a polite smile and a nod Joan kept walking and waiting for Annie to open up.

"You heard me tell Arthur in the kitchen didn't you?"

Joan didn't look at her, didn't say anything she just nodded.

"He wants me to come back for more sessions, says I can't get reinstated without his stamp of approval." She frustratedly spit the words out of her mouth. "I don't understand why I have to deal with this."

Joan looked over at her, "Annie, you went through more than I can imagine and PTSD isn't a death sentence. Dr. Peterson, Arthur and I, we just want to make sure you are okay. "

Annie shook her head in frustration, "That's not what I mean."

Joan leaned her head forward as she walked and forced the dark haired girl beside her to meet her eyes. The frustration in the Annies eyes had changed to anger, anger that was aimed at herself. Without saying a word Joan coerced the girl to elaborate.

"I'm not the first operative to go off the grid, not the first to do deep cover work. You can't tell me they all end up with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a red flag on their personnel file." Joan opened her mouth to comment but Annie went on, shoving her hands in her pockets and speaking forcefully, "Helen didn't have PTSD. She didn't struggle with wanting to come back, or anything else for that matter. I just don't understand why this is happening to me. I thought when I got on that boat out of Hong Kong it was over..." Annie turned her gaze from the road ahead to the ground passing beneath her feet, "...maybe it will never be over."

Joan felt sympathy watching the broken girl beside her. They arrived at a nearby park, and Joan led them to a bench to sit in front of the lake using the time to formulate her words.

"Annie..." she requested the girls full attention after they both settled onto the bench, "...you can't compare your experience to Helens, or anyone elses."

"But she..."

Waving a hand and raising her eyebrows, she cut Annie off, "You were completely isolated. Completely cut off from everyone, even the three people who knew you were alive. Correct?"

Annie nodded.

"You have to remember, Helen was grounded here. She had consistent contact with Arthur and Teo. Unlike you, she had someone to go too when a mission didn't go as planned. She wasn't alone, calling her own shots, making all of her own decisions, she had a support system. You and Helen had completely different experiences going dark, and you have got to stop comparing yourself to her."

Annie grasped the edge of her coat and fiddled with the material. "You said she wanted to come in from the cold?"

"Yes, she did."

Turning her head she faced Joan, a pained look on her face, "Did she tell you why?"

Joan poked her bottom lip out, "No, that was none of my business. But I have a feeling that is a conversation you need to have with Auggie, not me."

With a nasally chuckle Annie turned away, her rolling eyes coming to rest on the still water in front of her. "What if...unlike her, I..." she drug every word out, afraid of Joans response, "...what if I don't want to come back? What if I want to be done with the CIA?"

She slowly and timidly turned her eyes to meet Joans half expecting her to be fierce with anger, but she looked un-phased.

"The agency would miss your presence in more ways than one. Personally I would be sad. You have become an incredible operative and I would be sad to never know how far you could've gone. And... I would miss you. On that same note tho, I don't want you to torture yourself, and life would go on without you."

Annie took a deep breath, "I told Dr. Peterson I wasn't sure if I wanted to come back. I told him it was because I didn't want to work for people I don't trust and who don't trust me, but, I think its more that...I, I don't trust myself."

"Why not?"

Annie chuckled awkwardly and turned her face away from Joan to hide the tears forming in her eyes, "Uhhmmm, because I don't know who I am. Annie or Jessica or...? Jessica Matthews was my cover name."

"Nice name."

"Thanks" she replied with a dry laugh before pausing to and explaining, "So much has changed, I don't know if I can be the same Annie Walker ever again."

"You can't be." Her blunt response caught Annies undivided attention.

"It's true. Life changes us. Before you went dark, you weren't the same Annie Walker that walked into my office a few years ago as a clueless, naive, emotional, very green, and very stubborn agent. I'm not belittling the effect the past few months have had on you because it was an extraordinary circumstance, but you are still Annie Walker. A different version yes, but..." Joan paused and took a deep breath, "...the way your actions bother you, the way despite being completely justified killing Henry sits a little wrong with you, tells me you are human. Tells me you take this seriously. The fact you faked your death and did all this alone also tells me you are still so damn stubborn." Annie couldn't help but grin at that. "...and it tells me at the core of who you are, you are indeed the same person. Our experiences shape us, Annie your experience has shaped you, not crushed you." Joan swallowed and looked Annie in the eye with an intense glare, "It only crushes you if you let it."

Silent tears fell down Annies face and she took a deep shaky breath in an attempt to control them.

Joan stood and extended a hand to help Annie up, "You're going to make it through this."

Annie nodded as they started the walk home.

"How much you wanna bet McKenzie is gonna have a messy diaper when we get back?"

Annie laughed heartily wiping away her tears, "I think it's a safe bet. He will definitely need that bath."

"If Arthur tried to change it with one hand they will both need a bath."

The two women laughed hysterically.

* * *

At 9:30 that night, Arthur re-entered his bedroom after grabbing a stack of diapers from the nursery. His eyes fell on his wife laying on her side, head propped up in her hand, long blonde hair hanging like a veil around their sons face as she kissed his nose and spoke softly to him.

Joan looked up and acknowledged his presence.

Dropping the diapers on the night stand he scooted himself onto the bed and Joan picked up baby McKenzie so she could snuggle into her husbands good side. Arthur wrapped his strong right arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"Arthur, he is growing so fast." She whispered as she rubbed his tiny foot in her hand.

Arthur kissed her on the neck, "Babies tend to do that Joan."

"Mmm...I just want him to stay little forever." She turned her head over so she could see her husbands face. "I know what you mean" he said before covering her lips with his.

"How was your walk with Annie?"

Joan nodded, "Good. It was good. I'm surprised she trusts me with all of this, but I'm also relieved she does….she is thinking about quitting."

"Quitting the CIA?"

"Mhmm."

Arthur sighed, "I guess that shouldn't surprise me…" Turning his attention to his son who was happily gurgling he bent over and kissed him on the forehead before whispering into his ear, "You sir can be anything you want to be. Except a spy."

Joan gazed at her husband and son adoringly. As Arthur leaned back she moved to get out of the bed.

"Where are you two going?"

"He falls asleep faster if I walk around with him. And we have a big day tomorrow, so we all need to sleep." She said targeting her statement at Arthur.

"Yes ma'am" He said laying against the pillows and watching her with one eye shut.

Joan rolled her eyes and started walking baby McKenzie to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Annie followed a few steps behind the Campbells as the four of them walked into Langley. Despite it being her second time back in the building since her return from the dark, it felt like her first. Maybe it was because she knew it was coming and had the past 48 hours to fret over it. Maybe it was because this time she was going to face her co-workers that had watched her die. Regardless, at the moment her stomach was doing nervous somersaults.

She self-consciously tugged on Joans cream blouse and black blazer she had borrowed for the ceremony. The black stilettos she had also borrowed clicked across the floor as they walked. With each step, the building started to feel familiar to her again. The clean white walls, tightly closed doors, the sound of her heels clicking across the marble floor it all served to send her memory back to her first day working for the CIA.

The day she met Auggie.

Hearing the footsteps behind her slow down, Joan slowed her pace to come alongside her dark haired operative. "You okay?"

Annie nodded and exhaled grinning to herself, "Yeah, actually I am." Her eyes flickered over to Joan and the baby in her arms, "How is McKenzie liking his first day in Langley."

Joan looked down at her son and slid a finger into his fist, "So far so good. Hopefully he sleeps through the ceremony."

"If he gets fussy I can take him outside."

"No you can't. This ceremony is for you too ya know."

Annie half groaned, half sighed and in an attempt to defer Joans attention from her, nodded ahead toward Arthur who had entered the atrium, where the star studded wall stood. "How's Arthur?" she asked watching him shake hands with his former operatives.

Joan looked up at Arthur then to Annie out of the corner of her eye and spoke softly as their walking brought them within earshot of the group gathering for the event, "He's okay. Having you home, having this ceremony for Teo, it's helping him."

Annie was interrupted mid-nod by an extremely enthusiastic Eric Barber. "Annie Walker!" He halfway yelled her name across the room drawing everyone's attention to her. Joan gave Annie a sympathetic smile before excusing herself and walking towards her husband as the enthusiastic tech op half sprinted across the room, "Hey Barber. You shaved your beard?"

"You dyed your hair?"

"I did."

He hugged her awkwardly "Welcome home!"

"Thanks! And thank you for everything you did to help Auggie while I was gone."

"Yeah, about that, the next time you fake your death, can you read me in so I know to expect Auggies moodiness and off-the-wall plans."

Annie laughed and patted him on the back, "No offense, but I don't plan on faking my death ever again."

Barber wiped his forehead, "Good 'cause I can't handle all this drama."

* * *

The ceremony went smoothly. It was a perfect memorial to a fallen operative. Arthur was allowed to read the heavily redacted declassification statement concerning Teo's missions. He called Teo his hero, and thanked Annie for everything she had done for him. Arthurs were the only dry eyes in the room, and Annie knew, had he not been standing behind that podium, tears would have flooded his eyes as well. John Brennan presented the Medal of Merit to Annie and despite the pretentious pop and circumstance of it all, Annie was genuinely honored and humbled. The ceremony ended on a high note with Joan and Arthur introducing McKenzie to the CIA department heads that were present for the ceremony and announcing their mutual desire to return to the CIA in some capacity in the future. Both announcements were met with unanimous positive support.

Annie felt like she had been thanked by everyone in the building. Her mouth ached from the forced smile she had worn for the past hour. No one questioned her actions, they just showed support and gratitude to a fellow agent. After shaking what felt like the thousandth hand she heard a deep voice requesting her attention from somewhere behind her.

"Hey Annie, Annie?"

She turned to find Calder navigating the slowly dissipating crowd to move toward her, "Oh yeah, sorry...here." She handed him the box containing her medal.

"Thanks, but that's not what I needed to talk to you about."

Annie raised an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms, "Okay..."

He went on in his typical direct and slightly cocky tone, "Per Joan's request, all the clothes we took from your apartment have been packed up. They are in a suitcase at the security checkpoint for you to pick up when you leave. You can go through everything else when you feel up to it."

"Thanks."

"And you have a shockingly small wardrobe."

Annie chuckled, "That's because I never had the chance to finish moving everything over from my sisters guesthouse before you raided my apartment."

"Yeah, sorry about that...by the way we did do a sweep of your guesthouse, same as we would for any fallen operative, but unless your sister cleaned it out, the other half of your wardrobe is probably still there."

Auggie walked up and inserted himself in the conversation, "The other half? You mean the other 3/4ths."

Calder laughed, "Yeah, that sounds more like it." He waved and excused himself, "I'll see you tomorrow Walker."

"Tomorrow?" Auggie asked, his hands folded atop his cane and his eyes falling somewhere on her forehead.

"Yes, I have another polygraph and a shrink session." She said in a whisper.

Auggie smirked, "Gotta love those CIA shrinks. Mine particularly loved me."

Annie laughed, "What, the one you almost let get run over by a car?"

Nodding his head sideways toward her voice he commented sarcastically, "Details. So, who is your shrink?"

Annie took a moment too long respond making Auggie nervous, "Annie, ya still there?"

She shook her head and returned her attention to him, "Yeah, sorry, what?"

"Same old Annie, in a moment you're gonna tell me what is so intriguing but what I asked was what your shrinks name is."

An embarrassed smile took over her face, "Oh, uh, Dr. Peterson."

"Never heard of him."

"Well, he has heard of you, or read about you, or both."

"What do you mean?"

"He asked me about you. About us." Auggie could hear her voice trailing off again as her mind wandered back to some distant place, "Auggie...?" She said in that tone that used to play the what if game with him in when she was in the field trying to feel out how far she could push the boundaries_._

"Walker...?"

"Is it a good thing or a bad thing if said shrink is huddled in the corner with Joan and Arthur?"

"Well, it's safe to say they are talking about you, so, when has it ever been a good thing Joan and Arthur are huddled in a corner with anyone talking about you?"

"Never. What happened to doctor patient confidentiality?"

Auggie rolled his eyes and spoke in a sarcastic tone that carried a tinge of frustration, "Annie, this is the CIA. I know you've been on your own world for awhile, but you weren't gone that long and things around here haven't changed that much."

An un-traceable pain stabbed Annie in the gut. She wanted to turn and yell at him. He was wrong, everything had changed. Instead she grit her teeth flipped her hair, and took a deep breath to avoid showing her emotional outburst to everyone in the room.

Auggie felt her sudden change in temperament and realized his folly, "Annie I'm sorry. I didn't mean that how it sounded." He reached out trying to find where he guessed her shoulder was.

Watching his long fingers find her arm, she put a hand over his instead of shrugging him away, "But you did and that is why this is so hard. Everything changed for me."

Auggie tried to pull her closer, but Annie peeled his hand from her arm as he took that step forward. She squeezed it and let go.

His brow was furrowed, his blank eyes full of fear, Annie looked up at him with sad eyes, "It was good talking to you Auggie, it almost like old times...but..." She gulped down the emotion creeping up her throat and whispered, "...things will never be the same. I will never be the same"

Auggie nodded sadly for a moment but Annie watched him stand up straight and turn his head like he did when he was intently listening. She narrowed her eyes and turned just as Auggie addressed the person approaching them, "Joan, how are you?"

She chuckled and closed the last few feet between herself and her two former operatives. "Auggie, I still don't know how you do that. How is it heading up the DPD for a second time?" She spoke to Auggie but gave Annie a questioning glance, which was met by two brown eyes evading her gaze. The baby in her arms made a tiny grunt.

"Well, round two certainly has been smoother." A wide grin took over Auggies face. "Is that the baby Campbell I hear?"

Both the women standing in front of him grinned, "The one and only" Joan responded proudly reaching for Auggies hand to guide him to the baby in her arms. Auggie rubbed his tiny hand, which soon gripped his finger.

He looked up to where he thought Joans eyes might be, "Can I hold him?"

"I don't see why not."

Annie took his cane and Joan carefully placed McKenzie in his arms.

"Hey Z" Auggie softly ran his finger across the babys head, face, nose, learning his tiny features. "Handsome little man, taking after his mom instead of his dad. Wise guy." Joan and Annie laughed, but McKenzie started to whimper, the sound obviously made Auggie feel distraught.

"Here, let me take him." Joan brought her son back close to her chest.

Auggie smiled awkwardly and took his cane back from Annie, "Well, I guess a blind man holding a baby isn't such a good idea."

"It has nothing to do with you. All this action has made him tired, hungry, and fussy."

"Well that makes me feel better."

Joan put a reassuring hand on his arm, "McKenzie loves you, I promise." She turned to Annie, "Ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah, what about Arthur?" She asked motioning to where he stood talking to the DNI.

Joan smirked, "If we start walking he will follow."

"Point me in the right direction and I will give him a little nudge."

Annie grabbed Auggies shoulders and turned his body to face where Arthur was standing, "20 paces straight ahead."

"I'm on it. Goodbye ladies, and baby Z."

"Bye Auggie." Joan responded with a dimpled grin before turning and walking beside Annie toward the checkpoint.

* * *

Back at the Campbells, Annie drug her suitcase upstairs and tossed it onto the bed. Opening it she rummaged through the contents until she found her sneakers, running pants, and sweatshirt.

Hand on the doorknob of the front door she heard Arthurs voice behind her, "Going somewhere?"

Releasing the door she turned and explained, "Just gonna go for a quick run." Her eyes narrowed upon meeting his as she tried to interpret the look he gave her. Even in all they had been through, Annie had never seen the former DCS show this much emotion. The sadness in his eyes surprised her.

He nodded, "Just be back in an hour or Joan will send a search party." He tried to hide the emotion in his voice with the lighthearted statement.

Annie gave him an empathetic smile before turning to go outside, "I'll be back in one hour."

* * *

Inhale, left right left. Exhale, left right left.

_"You don't seem to be a person that cares about anyone else."_

Inhale, left right left. Exhale, left right left.

_"You're wrong I care about everyone I am fighting for including you."_

Inhale, left right left. Exhale, left right left.

_"We are done…to beat Henry, you have to become him...and perhaps you have. You're a monster too Jessica. "_

Breaking her forced pace she gasped for air and quickly scanned the area to see who was around. The street was quiet so Annie sank onto the curb. Smoothing back her sweaty ponytail Annie fought to control her breathing, and the flashbacks that were terrorizing her mind. She crossed her arms over her knees and watched a car fly by. Sanas' words wreaking havoc on her mind. Auggie was right, she had been in her own world. That world was crumbling and now she couldn't help but wonder...could it be? Had she really become a monster? The frigid winter air stung her throat as she tried to breathe. Remembering her promise to only be an hour she stood and started her jog toward the house. Determined to use the remaining time to get her emotions in check.

* * *

The downstairs was empty, the lights were off, and the house was quiet. Annie tip-toed up the stairs. Seeing a light on in the nursery she knocked on the cracked door.

"Joan?" She asked without pushing the door open.

"You can come in Annie."

Slowly widening the crack in the door she saw Joan rocking McKenzie.

"Where's Arthur?"

Joan focused her eyes on her son, "In our room he...needs some time to himself. It may not have seemed like it, but today was…." She shook her head and searched for the right word, "….was, impossibly difficult for him." Annies eyes bent with concern but Joan raised her chin and spoke with confidence, "He will be okay."

Annie stepped further into the room and leaned against the changing table crossing her arms and biting her lip.

"Was your run okay?" Joan inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, really cold, but it felt good." She lied. It felt horrible. Running used to clear her mind, but today, it just encouraged confusion.

Perceiving the conflict in Annie, Joan stood and approached her. Without saying a word she placed the child into her operatives arms. Annie looked down at the baby boy and re-inserted the pacifier into his mouth.

Joan made herself busy changing the sheets on the crib, but pausing a moment to survey Annies state of being, "Wanna talk about it?"

Annies startled brown eyes met Joans.

"I was...I was thinking about Geneva, and Sana."

Joan nodded and returned to her task of removing the old sheets from the crib, "You spent a lot of time with her?"

"Yeah. She trusted me, I mean..." Annie shook her head and raised both brows, "…no she didn't trust me by the end of it all, but I…Joan, could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure" She said as she unfolded the clean sheet.

"In my plan to play Henry, I got her fiancé, David Dupree, into...a lot of trouble. Is there a way you could make sure Interpol released him, make sure he and Sana are okay..." Annie looked to the floor beside her for a moment. "I don't want to be the one who ruined their lives just to accomplish my agenda." Annie scoffed at herself.

Joan placed one hand on the crib and one on her hip, "Annie, I don't have the leverage or power to do that right now. Technically I am a cryptology analyst on maternity leave, I..." Seeing the deep concern in Annies brown eyes she paused and took a deep breath, "...I think you should talk to Calder when you go in tomorrow. He can at least look into it."

Annie nodded and started swaying to calm the baby in her arms.

"You could even talk to Auggie…" Joan said his name cautiously and searched Annies face for her response.

Annie froze and lifted her eyes up from McKenzie to Joan upon hearing his name.

Cocking her head sideways, Joan justified her suggestion, "He is interim head of the DPD, and I know things are…challenging but, I saw you two talking today." She had a slyness to her tone of voice that made Annie fight the urge to roll her eyes.

"I might have better luck talking to Calder at this point."

Chuckling, Joan took her son back into her own arms "I doubt that." She said before shooting Annie a sideways grin and heading towards the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Peterson looked up from the file he was reading as Annie Walker entered his office.

"Annie, nice to see you again. Have a seat." He gathered his notebook and pen and came to sit across from the tense brunette settling into his armchair.

Annie silently handed him the notebook she was clutching. Accepting it, he raised an eyebrow at her, "How was your polygraph?"

"Shorter, so better." Annie crossed her legs and sat back into the chair.

"I read the transcript from your session last week."

Crossing her arms she spoke with sarcasm in her voice, "Solidified your belief I'm insane did it?"

"No, but it did help me understand why you are wary of returning."

Annie tapped her arm with a finger as she decided to take advantage of the moment of silence, "What were you talking with Joan and Arthur about after the star ceremony?"

He paused in veiled surprise before nodding, "I was running an idea by them, finding out if it was plausible."

"What idea is this?"

He replied in his even tone and calm grin, "We will get there. How is Auggie?"

Annie uncrossed her arms to re-adjust herself in the chair, "So your interest has shifted from my sleeping habits to my ex boyfriend?"

"We will circle back around to that too. Ex boyfriend?"

"It's complicated."

"Annie, every relationship is complicated"

"But most couples aren't spies, and most girlfriends don't cut off all communication with their boyfriends. Lots of boyfriends cheat but…." Shaking his head, Dr. Peterson held up a finger to pause her rant, "When did cheating enter this equation?"

Annie groaned, "Technically, it wasn't cheating. We were separated, she was his ex wife."

"How does that make you feel?"

She shifted awkwardly, "Disappointed"

"Why?"

"I don't know…It shouldn't bother me. I was gone, and..." She blew air frustratedly through her pursed lips, "...I was a different person for gods sake but it still hurts." Annie looked at the coffee table between them studying the titles in the pile of magazines.

He opened the notebook and scanned a few pages. "You've been doin a lot of writing."

Thankful he changed the subject Annie tried to lighten the conversation, "And luckily I am ambidextrous because my hands ache from all the writing."

"When you dream, does it feel un-real or real?"

"Real." She replied without hesitation.

"Do you feel like you are watching the event play out in front of you? Or do you feel you are a participant with some control?"

Annie exhaled and rolled her eyes, he just wasn't going to let this dream thing go, "Both, each scenario plays out differently." She could hear the frustration in her own voice.

"Are you comfortable with giving me examples?"

"Uhhh…. Well, when I dream Goodman or someone has a gun to Auggies head, I am always too far away to do anything. I have no control over what happens, but Henry, I feel in control of that scenario."

Dr. Peterson wrote himself a note before leaning forward and waiting for her eyes to meet his, "Sometimes blaming ourselves can feel safer than accepting what happened because we had little control over it."

"But I had full control over what happened."

"Did you?"

"I mean I pulled the trigger, so you tell me." Her eyes glared at him, she felt she was loosing her battle with the anger in her.

"Months of incidents led up to that decision, correct? You had no control over the choices Henry Wilcox made. You couldn't control the situation couldn't control him. In that moment, what other choice did you have?" Dr. Peterson looked directly into her eyes as she stared through him.

_"Do you believe in free will Annie? Did you ever imagine you would spend this much energy trying to save my life? It is a paradox of free will. You make choice after choice and suddenly you reach this strange dead end where you are working actively against your own interests. Failure to dispassionately see the whole chessboard. That's your fatal flaw as an operative. You lead with your heart instead of your head."_

Annie looked away and rubbed her forehead, as if trying to clean Henrys voice out of her brain. She took a deep breath and forced herself to relax and answer calmly, "Trying to bring him in would have been nearly impossible, but looking back, maybe I should have tried."

"Things tend to look more plausible in hindsight, but you couldn't predict that moment was coming, you couldn't see into the future. Given what you knew then, was it a reasonable or unreasonable decision."

There was a long pause, "It was reasonable." Annies brow furrowed with realization.

With a deep breath, Dr. Peterson sat back into his chair and spoke again, "Annie, I want to change subjects for a moment. That okay with you?"

Annie shrugged, "Sure"

"Danielle, your sister..." Annies face hardened and her eyes narrowed as sadness filled them when he said her name, "..she thinks you're dead. I need to know if you want to read her in?"

Annie ran a hand through her dark hair, "Is reading her in even an option?"

"Yes. That is what I spoke with Joan and Arthur about."

"So what, I just show up, her dead baby sister raised from the dead?"

"In essence, yes. Although, we would bring her in here. Your polygraphs will be finished being analyzed and compared by tomorrow. Once they are, we can decide what can and cannot be shared in that reunion…" He watched Annies eyes focus on the wall straight ahead as her mind wandered, "...Annie, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I….I want to see her, but, I don't want to hurt her anymore. If I tell her I'm alive now, she…she will never know for sure if I do die. I don't want her to live in the unknown. It would be selfish."

"More selfish than not telling her you're alive?"

"You want me to agree to see her…"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"You trust her, you said she makes you feel safe. She is a constant in your life, something concrete in all this change, and I think being able to talk about this with her will help you more than I or anyone else can, and I don't think telling her would put her at a disadvantage."

Annie was silent as Dr. Peterson studied her face.

Looking at the floor, the brunette silently nodded in agreement.

"Okay?"

Annie looked him in the eye, "I want to see her."

"Alright, I will work with Calder on ironing out the details." He said as he leaned over the coffee table to hand her the notebook.

"Great, so, are we done?"

"Yes" Annie practically jumped up from her seat, "…but Annie, I have something like a homework assignment for you."

"Okay…?" She said cautiously as paused on her journey to the office door.

"I want you to talk to Auggie." Annies mouth almost fell open, "Things will be complicated until you do, and it won't be easy but he is not your father."

Annie scoffed, "My father? Really?"

"My understanding is it was your fathers marital indiscretions that occurred while he was deployed that ultimately led to him leaving. And I think the similarities between that situation and yours with Auggie are causing you to feel disappointment toward them both."

She took a deep breath and forced the emotions welling up in her to subside, "You're serious?"

"Completely." He was matter of fact as he rose to return to his desk.

Annie laughed and looked at the ceiling, "Yes sir."

* * *

Annie stepped into the elevator and pressed two buttons. One for the floor of the DPD, and one for the seventh floor. She leaned against the back of the elevator and wrapped her arms around herself debating how far she wanted to ride this elevator. Talking to Calder about Sana would be easier, but, part of her wanted to talk to Auggie anyway. She felt she would be sick when the elevator reached the floor of the DPD. It was the first stop. The door opened, Annie took a deep breath and forced her shoulders back. But her feet felt like anvils. She bit her lip as the doors began to close and impulsively reached a hand to stop them.

"Its now or never." She whispered to herself.

Annie took that first step out of the elevator. Looking through the DPDs glass door, she could see Auggie making his way from the conference room back to his office. One of the moments him being blind served as a benefit, she could watch him and get her thoughts together without being noticed.

Walking through the DPD felt strange. Everyone in the room knew who she was. Annie could feel them watching her, but no one said a word to her. Auggies door was open so she stopped and watched him work. It took him a moment to pick-up on her presence in the room. When he did he removed his headphones and tipped up his chin. He took a deep breath and stood slowly.

"Annie?" His brow was furrowed.

"It's me Auggie." She whispered as she slid the door shut behind her.

Auggie grinned and pulled another rolling chair from the corner beside his so she could sit. So they sat. Toe-to-toe, knee-to-knee, face-to-face. Neither spoke for what felt like hours as neither was sure where to start.

"What are you doing back here in the DPD?"

Annie chuckled, "I wanted to come visit my friend who got a massive promotion."

Pride flashed over Auggies face, "It's temporary. So, why did you really come?"

"I was hoping you could do me a favor?"

"Is this favor gonna get me fired?"

"No, not this one."

"Okay then shoot."

"Can you look into what happened to Sana's fiancé, David Dupree for me? When I left, Interpol had him in custody and I just want to make sure he was released."

Auggie nodded, "Can it wait till tomorrow?"

Slightly surprised by his response she narrowed her eyes, "Yes I mean whenever you can get to it."

The tall, lanky brown haired man nodded and moved to shut down his work station, "Good because I have a date tonight."

Annie stood and pushed her chair back into the corner trying to hide the shock in her voice, "Oh yeah? With who?"

"A stunning blonde, that has since gone brunette, or so I'm told, and has been out of town for the past three months. I plan on taking her to her favorite bar and catching up. Maybe driving around to look at Christmas Lights." His tone was so casual and lighthearted.

Annie felt her cheeks warm, "But you can't see the lights."

Knowing he had just gotten her to agree to a date Auggie smiled wildly, "No, but she can describe them to me."

"I think she would like that as long as you let her drive."

"That would probably be best." He picked up his folded cane and reached for her elbow, "Ready to go?"

Annie put her arm where he could easily find it, "Is Mr. head of the DPD sure he can leave work?"

"I'm the boss, and it's almost quit time anyway, so yes. But lets walk fast just in case Calder has a last minute task for me." He responded with a sly grin and nudged her to start moving.

* * *

After greeting his fanclub, Auggie led Annie to a booth in the back corner of the bar. He surprised Annie when he slid in beside her instead of across from her. Auggie must have sensed her apprehension as he turned his head toward her wide eyes, "I can move if you would rather me..."

Annie cut him off, "No, you're fine I, just wasn't expecting you to, to be so close."

Nodding understandingly, Auggie took a swig of his beer, "How was your session with Dr. Peterson today?" He said the psychiatrists name in a creepy tone of voice eliciting a chuckle from the brunette beside him, "Fine. We talked about you again."

"Who wouldn't wanna talk about me?" His face lit up with a childish grin.

Annie punched him in the arm playfully, "That's not what I mean."

"I know. What did the good doctor have to say about me?" He asked far too amused with himself.

"You are my homework."

Auggie gave her a confused look so she elaborated, "He said I need to talk to you."

"About…?"

Annie shook her head and chuckled at herself, "Honestly I'm not sure."

Auggie furrowed his brow, "Okay, well…how is living with the Campbells?"

Annie shrugged, "It was awkward...really awkward at first, but...they really are just humans."

They both broke into laughter as Auggie half laughed, and half spoke "And I always thought they were zombies." Their laughter subsided as awkward silence settled in again.

"Did you know they are gonna let me read Danielle in?"

Auggie looked away and shrugged, hiding his curling lips with his beer mug, "I heard something about it."

"How do you think she is gonna take this?" Annie tipped her mug and stared at the caramel colored liquid inside.

"I have no idea. In a way it's like when you read her in a few years go. Everyone is different so every response is different. Calder and I have been working on your new NOC. You were almost dumped in the burned operative category but, Henry didn't give MSS your name so we avoided that. How we will explain your blown Import/Export NOC on top of your blown Smithsonian NOC, that's still in the air. How your sister explains this has bounced around the whiteboard as well. We have looked at what you can de-classify, and I gotta be honest with you, you can't say much."

Annie blew her hair away from her face as she flipped her head, "I guess you were right, things haven't changed much here."

Slowly turning his half-full mug in a circle, Auggie spoke in a calculated tone, "What did you mean when you said things will never be the same?"

Annie sighed, "I don't know. So much has changed, we both made decisions we can't take back. I guess I've assumed it's too much to walk back."

"Too much that you decided to go dark or that I slept with Helen."

Annie inhaled sharply and looked at him with anger, sadness, and disappointment. It's not like she didn't know but hearing him say it made it somehow permanent or real as if it wasn't already.

"You figured it out at the apartment that night didn't you?"

Annie nodded and looked at her fisted hands that were clenched on the table in front of her. "Yes."

Auggie sighed deeply and put his head in both hands, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Annie shook her head, "Why did you….?" Her voice trailed off.

Auggie removed his hands from his head and returned to fiddling with his beer, "It was familiar and I...I wasn't sure you would ever come back, but really I don't know. It just happened."

Annie wiped a tear from her eye, "I was on the bus the night you went to meet her."

A shocked look took over his face and he turned to face her. "Why didn't you..."

"Say anything?" Annie interrupted him and finish his statement, "I was trying to protect you. I almost did, I wanted too, but I wanted you safe more than I wanted you with me."

Auggies bit his bottom lip as his face contorted with pain. His phone rang just as he opened his mouth to speak. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he pulled the hated device from his pocket and answered it. Annie took a gulp of her beer and listened in on Auggies side of the conversation.

_"Hello?"_

_"Yeah, she is with me."_

_"Yes sir, I will."_

Annie touched his arm lightly, "Who was that?"

Auggie rolled his eyes "Arthur, wondering where you were."

Annie groaned, "Overprotective much?"

"They just want to make sure you haven't gone off the grid again. Your death was hard on them both."

Annie looked down at her hands and bit the inside of her cheek remembering the day she decided to disappear. Remembering how many people she hurt in her pursuit of Henry. Auggie took a deep breath and stood up, "Lets go for a walk. I don't wanna do this in here."

Annie stood and led him to the car. "Where do you wanna go?"

"I promised Christmas lights, so, the National Zoo? I hear the light display is amazing."

Annie nodded and tried to smile as she spoke, "We can do that."

* * *

The drive was quiet. They parked, and started walking.

Auggie broke the silence, "I can't fix this."

"I know. Neither can I." Annie looked him in his blank eyes, "I can't change this experience that has changed me, I can't go back, so I am trying to just be okay with who I am and what I did. But things, things are different."

"Yeah, they are."

Annie sighed, "We are different."

Auggie swallowed hard, "Find us a bench?"

"Uh..." Annie surveyed the area "…over here." Finding a bench off the main path she led him over and they settled down.

Auggie took both her hands in his, "Annie, I made a mistake. I should have been supporting you, trying to get you home but I…"

"Auggie, stop, please."

He squeezed her hands tighter, "No, no you listen. I know how much a war changes a person. I know things will never be the same, but I am okay with that. As long as we are figuring out what this is together. I don't know what our lives will look like 6 months from now, but today we are together, so we can work on this. Annie we all lost so much in this mess. I don't want to lose us."

His words lit a fire inside of Annie. His hands so warm and steady around hers making her feel safe. She whispered, "I don't know what to say…"

"Say you'll try. We can take it one day at a time, but I can't lose you again." A tear fell down his face.

Annie laid her head on his shoulder, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"One day at a time." She nodded and snuggled into him before looking up to see a relieved smile come over his face. He pulled her closer as they sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"So what do the lights look like?"

Annie chuckled, and wiped a stray tear with her thumb, "We are sitting in front of a massive green tree. Probably ten feet tall. The lights turn on and off in sequence from the top to the bottom, makes it look like the tree is moving. To your right is a pear tree with a partridge that moves from limb to limb as the white lights blink."

"And I smell Hot Cocoa?"

Annie sat up and scanned the area, "Yeah, there is a vendor a few yard behind us. His shop is lit up with candy canes."

Auggie stood and pulled her up with him, "Well, you gonna take me to get some?"

Placing his hand on her arm she rolled her eyes, "I thought the man bought the drinks on a date?"

"I can't buy you a drink if I don't know where they are." Auggie paused and pulled her around to face him, "So this is still classified as a date? Not just a heart to heart session?"

Annie grinned sideways, "As long as you buy me hot cocoa."

"In that case, lead the way. Lets get you your cocoa, finish walking through these spectacular lights, at least I am assuming they are spectacular...?"

"They are."

"Good, cocoa, lights, and then get you home before the Campbells send out an extraction team."

Annie smiled at him before planting a quick kiss on his cheek, "Deal."


	8. Chapter 8

For the first time in months, it was the warmth of the sunshine streaming in her window that gradually brought Annie Walker out of deep sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and laid still under the warm blankets relishing the moment. Turning over to look at the clock she heard a crunching sound as she turned onto the notebook that she neglected to put away at 3am.

Sitting up she opened to the last page. As she read her forced handwriting she shuddered. Swallowing down her fear she closed the notebook and slid out of bed. It was almost ten o'clock. Annie showered and dried her hair. Rummaging through her suitcase she pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve top. Annie threw her hair in a ponytail and headed downstairs to find something to satisfy the grumbling in her stomach.

Munching on an apple she stood in the window and watched the sunlight play on the white snow that had fallen the night before. The world looked new, pure.

"Good morning Annie." Arthurs deep voice behind her startled her. Annie coughed choking on her apple.

"Morning."

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to startle you."

Annie shut her eyes as she dismissively shook her dark head, "It's okay. Where's Joan?"

"Upstairs..." He shoved his good hand into his pocket and pursed his lips, "and Annie, while I am apologizing..."

Annie raised an eyebrow afraid of what might come out of his mouth.

"Joan said I should have minded my own business last night, calling Auggie to check on you. I know you are both adults..." Letting a sigh of relief escape, Annie held back a laugh seeing the seriousness in her former bosses face. "...I was worried...I didn't want to be responsible for losing you again like I did in Germany...all that to say, I am sorry for meddling. "

Nodding as she began to understand Annie met Arthurs eyes and gave him a weak smile, "I'm sorry I worried you, but thank you for looking out for me. What are you dressed up for?" She asked nodding to his suit and tie.

"I have a meeting with the DNI."

"At Langley?"

"No, on the hill, with the head of the Senate Intelligence Committee."

Annie narrowed her eyes, "About what?"

Arthur gave her a sly grin, "When you need to know, you will."

Annie rolled her eyes and walked toward the kitchen to discard of her apple, "Best part of being dark, no one told me what I did or didn't need to know. Do you need me to drive you?"

"No, I called a cab hoping you would still be asleep. Joan said last night was the longest she thinks you have slept since you got back."

Re-entering the dining room, "Yeah I think it was."

The cab arrived as she finished her statement and honked for Arthur to come out. As he headed toward the door he added one last sarcastic comment, "Your evening with Auggie have anything to do with that?"

Giving him a sideways look and biting the inside of her cheek she shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe."

"Well I'm glad you two are at least friends again..." he lowered his voice as he stood halfway out the door, "...and Joan will be elated."

Annie shot him a glare, "Bye Arthur."

"See ya tonight." he closed the door behind him and Annie went to the kitchen to clean the load of dishes and bottles that had begun to pile up on the counter.

She was headed back upstairs to her room when Joan called her name. Opening the nursery door she found Joan gently burping baby McKenzie.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Can you hand me one of those extra burp rags over there? McKenzie just spit up, and the one I have now won't be enough to clean him up."

Annie grabbed the nearest rag and clean onseie and handed it to Joan who laid her son in her lap and started cleaning up both him, and her shoulder.

"So..." She asked looking up at Annie with just her eyes, "...how is Auggie?"

Annie put her hands in her back pockets and shrugged, "Fine."

"Mhmm. You two on talking terms again?"

"We are." Annie furrowed her brow and tried to explain, "It's complicated and I'm not sure where we are gonna end up, but, last night was good."

Finishing up her clean up job, Joan handed the clean baby to Annie and brought the dirty onesie and burp rags to the laundry basket. "Did Arthur apologize?"

"Yes, but it was really okay" Annie stated as she started swaying the child in her arms.

"No, it wasn't." Putting on the tone of voice she used when she was reading Annie in for a mission she went on, "I'm going to clean up then we need to talk about your sister." Annies eyes bounced from the baby to Joan. "Calder called this morning and we finalized the details."

Joan watched as the heaviness of the past three months returned to Annies brown eyes. She agreed in a small voice and Joan left the two of them.

Coming downstairs a few minutes later she found Annie sitting at the dinning table with a knee drawn to her chest. Her son happily amused by the baby swing Annie was pushing him in.

Sensing Joans presence in the room, Annie looked up and gave her a weak smile.

Grinning back Joan walked to take a seat beside Annie and the baby swing, "McKenzie seems to like you. I'm about to name you the baby whisperer"

"He likes anyone who pushes him in this swing."

"True, he doesn't like to be still, but when I put him in that swing he becomes completely upset.

Annie shrugged and Joan started the brief, "So, the Brooks' home sold. Danielle is flying to DC tomorrow to empty the house and sign paperwork." Annie nodded as she began to see where this was going. "She knows Auggie, so we are going to have him call her and invite her to Langley to give her some answers."

"Answers?"

"She has had a hard time with the story the CIA gave her. Never seeing your body, no memorial service, she has contacted Auggie many times asking what happened. You can't tell her the details of your faked death. Can't disclose names, not even Calders. She will never meet anyone except you, Auggie, Dr. Peterson and possibly us."

Annie looked at her with confused eyes, "Why not Calder?"

Joan sighed deeply, "He is still covert Annie. Her meeting him on the street while he is in his NOC is one thing, but..."

"I understand."

"You can't tell her where you were. Nothing about your direct involvement with Henry."

Annie began to feel frustration boiling in her. She grit her teeth and glared fiercely at Joan, "Well what can I tell her?"

"That you are alive. That you were implicated and identified in relation to the missile attack on the helicopter in Copenhagen. We are going to use that, in combination with your import export NOC to explain your absence for three months. For all intents and purposes, you witnessed the attack and were subsequently sequestered by the Denmark police force before being sent back to the United States where you were put under witness protection. Now that the public knows what happened, well, our version of what happened, you can go back to your normal life. The threat against you has been mitigated. The paperwork your sister filed to get your death certificate has been pulled. The name plate on the grave has been replaced with Jane Doe. On paper, you have come back from the dead."

Annie nodded in agreement. "That is a far fetched explanation is it not?"

Joan took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "Honestly, yes. Most operatives don't try to come back after something like this. Finding a way to keep you from being burned has been complicated. We are counting on your sister not having many people to tell. You have no immediate family and she has just moved to the other side of the country."

Turning her attention to the babbling baby boy beside her Annie asked the next question on her list. "Okay, what happens if I do return to the CIA? What will my new NOC be?"

"You have to make the decision to come back, and you have to be cleared for fieldwork before they put the hours into finding you a new NOC. Have you made a decision?" Joan looked for Annie to look her in the eye but the girl evaded her gaze and silently shook her head.

"It's okay. There is no rush. We want you to come back if and when you feel ready."

"Joan, you keep saying, 'we'. Does that mean you're back?"

Joan sat back into her seat and crossed her arms, "No, it is just habit. Calder and I will have to go through the interviewing process after the new year I would guess."

Annie nodded seeing McKenzie had been lulled to sleep by the swinging motion, she stopped pushing the swing. Her tired arm rested across her leg and she propped her chin on her knee, "Joan, can I ask you a personal question."

"Depends on what it is." Joan replied giving the dark haired girl a cautious narrow eyed stare.

"You told me a couple of years ago that you have three sisters."

Joan nodded.

"Did they know you were CIA before you went overt?"

Joan took a deep breath and twirled her wedding ring around her finger, "One of my sisters, the oldest one, Sarah, directly asked me if I was in the CIA shortly after I joined. I couldn't bring myself to lie to her, so I read her in. After I married Arthur, who was already overt, my family assumed I was CIA." Joan cocked her head sideways and furrowed her brow, "We aren't particularly close tho and my parents never pressed the issue so I never felt the need to read them in. It was the elephant in the room everyone knew about but no one asked about." Joan chuckled, "When I became DCS, they knew for sure."

Not sure how far she could push Joan, Annie asked slowly, "How do you think your sister would have responded if you went dark then came back?"

Joan pondered the question for a moment before blinking and sitting up straight in her chair. Extending her neck she replied, "Keep in mind Sarah and Danielle are two completely different people. From what I know about your sister she is a very nurturing woman. My sister was a Marine for most of her life. If I faked my death then showed back up, she would probably be angry." Joan looked at the ceiling, "I would probably have a black eye." She gave Annie a quick grin and went on, "Finding out I was CIA was hard for her because she didn't want me to give up everything for my country like she felt she had. Ultimately, she was supportive. That being said, in a situation like yours, she would be angry, probably not talk to me for a few months, but I expect she would eventually come around and just be happy I was alive."

Annie dropped her knee to the floor and relaxed back into her chair. Her eyes were staring a hole into the dining room table. "How do you think Danielle will take this?" She brought her eyes up to meet Joans slowly, "How will she take me being alive."

Sighing deeply Joans eyes flickered to her stirring son then back to Annie, "I was shocked when I ran into you in New York, but mostly relieved to see you alive. Your sister will have a lot of emotions to sort through, but ultimately, you are her baby sister and you are alive. I think it will take time, but I think she will be happy to have you back in her life."

Annie ran a hand through her hair, "I hope so."

* * *

Arthur walked into a dark house. He could hear his son crying upstairs so he moved toward the sound. The guest room door was closed but the light was on, his bedroom door was open. Standing in the doorway he saw his wife trying to calm his upset son with a pacifier.

"Everything okay?" He asked as he entered the room.

"Hey, welcome home." Joan smiled as Arthur crossed the room and brushed a soft kiss on his wifes lips. "Did you read Annie in on her meeting with Danielle tomorrow?"

"I did."

"And…?"

"And I think it will be hard, but I think she's ready."

The baby in her arms still crying , Arthur looked down at him and spoke in a pathetic tone, "Hey Mac, what is wrong son?" At his fathers voice the wailing child in Joans arms stilled and became silent.

"Apparently he missed you."

Arthur turned and moved to sit in the chair in the corner of the room, "Here let me hold him."

Joan bent over and placed him into his fathers arms. He babbled happily and Arthur kissed his forehead. Joan sat in the chair beside her two men. "How did it go?"

Arthur looked up at her with bright eyes, "James and I sat with the head of the Senate Intelligence Committee for five hours going over the proposal. He hardly said a word and I honestly though he was going to shoot it down without even considering it. But, he said it was a plausible option that he wants James and I to submit to the committee next week."

A dimpled smile took over Joan's face, "Arthur that is great news."

He nodded, "It is."

"So, you would work directly for the DNI?" Arthur nodded, "What would your title be?"

"Associate Director of National Intelligence. My role, similar to that of a Chief Operating Officer overseeing the intelligence community. The Senator was insistent, however, that my office be on the hill with the DNI and not at Langley. I would be there to further integrate the sharing of intelligence between the CIA and the office of the DNI but on the politicking side of things and not the intelligence gathering side."

Joan gave him a sideways grin and spoke in a sarcastic tone, "So, if I beat Calder out for my old DCS post you would go back to being my boss?"

Arthur nodded an looked down at his son, the smile on his face slowly disappearing, "Joan, are you sure you want to go back to work?" He looked up at her with a questioning gaze. "Someone needs to be home to raise McKenzie, and…"

"Arthur, we talked about this. As demanding as the DCS position is, I am a better delegator than you were, and the re-structuring that happened after Lena really does take the pressure off of the position some, and he can be in the building with me."

Arthur shook his head, "I know, but Joan…."

"Don't 'but Joan' me, Arthur Campbell. I worked hard for this job, and I love it. I am confident we can balance being parents and serving our country. Even your new role as Associate DNI will take some duties off of my plate, I am sure."

Arthur nodded dejectedly.

"Please let me try this Arthur."

"You're gonna try it anyway." He looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, I probably will."

Arthur turned so he could look her full in the face, "Joan, I just don't want to see you overwhelmed. I don't want to see this become too much for you and see you…."

"Relapse?"

Arthur took a deep breath, "Yes, Joan."

She nodded and rubbed her fingernail with her thumb, "That won't happen. I have you and I have McKenzie and I know when it is too much. I promise you I will make our family a priority."

Tears had crept into the corner of Arthurs tired eyes, "I know you will. And I know you can do this. We can do this."

Joan gazed at her husband and son. A joyfully warm feeling swept over her as she did.

"What are you smiling at?"

"The two most amazing men in the world. One who has fallen asleep finally."

Joan stood and scooped the baby boy into her arms and moved to lay him in the bassinet.

Arthur came to stand behind her and wrapped his good arm around her waist pulling her against him. He kissed her neck before looking over her shoulder to watch their son sleep. "It will be nice to have two arms again."

Joan wrapped her arm around his, "Just a few more days and you can hold him."

"And you" he whispered into her neck.

"And me" she said with a smile in her voice. Leaning to one side so she could see his profile she added, "And you can change his diapers."

He kissed her lips and went back to staring at their son, "You know, I am actually excited about that."


	9. Chapter 9

_"Dear Danielle, I know we haven't had a chance to talk in awhile, and we may never get the chance to speak again. So I'm asking you to think about the times when Dad had us look for the evening star, Venus, when it appeared in the west just after sunset. No matter where we lived all over the world, there was Venus, it was our star. Now I'm asking you to think of me whenever you see Venus in the sky. No matter where you are I'll be there.  
__I love you Danielle."_

Cell phone in one hand, postcard in the other, Danielle forced herself to breathe. Three months later and the pain was still as raw as the night she got that phone call. Hearing from Auggie today was like opening an old wound.

The girls were downstairs running and screaming. Someone was probably about to get hurt. It was inevitable with those two. Danielle chuckled thinking of how much of Annie was in them. In the adventurous, active, dreamers they had become.

Paul Walker used to tell his daughters that Venus was a special star. That it allowed people communicate with their dead loved ones to show they still love and remember them. When their grandmother died, she and Annie were just 5 and 9. One night their dad took them outside and told them that Venus was really their grandmother watching over them. It was always there. Venus was a constant in their lives even when they moved time after time. Being a military brat was hard enough, but, add in their parents divorce when they were in their teens and their mothers sudden death right after Danielles' wedding, that star meant more to the two of them then anyone would ever understand.

Now she looked at it and remembered her grandmother, her mother, and her sister. Her sister who joined the CIA and had gotten herself killed. Warm tears started flowing down her cheeks when a knock on her door drew her out of her melancholy muse.

"Danielle?" Michael cautiously asked as he stepped into the room. Seeing her emotional state he walked quickly to her and pulled her into his arms. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

Danielle pulled away and sat up straight, "Auggie called."

"What did he want?" He asked with an angry edge to his voice.

"They know we sold the house." She sniffled, "They need to do what he called a "sweep", and I guess its protocol for the family to be debriefed? When I fly in tomorrow he is going to meet me and take me into Langley."

"Are you sure you want to do this alone? Going to Langley and having to go through Annie's things? It's only two days, I can take off work and my parents can watch the girls."

Danielle stood and stashed the postcard into her nightstand, "No, Michael. I need to do this alone."

* * *

Stepping out of the airport terminal Danielle easily spotted Auggie Anderson standing by a black SUV. Pulling along her carry-on bag she walked to greet him.

"Auggie, I'm here."

He turned his face toward her voice and smiled warmly, "Welcome back to D.C."

Danielle was glad he couldn't see her face. Being back in D.C. brought back so many painful memories of her sister. Keeping the emotions off her face had been impossible. She climbed into the SUV and Auggie stowed her bag in the trunk before climbing into the seat beside her.

"How was your flight?" He asked as the car began moving.

"Fine." Her response was flat. Taking a deep breath she rallied her emotions and managed to put on a sanguine tone, "How have you been Auggie?"

He shrugged, "Ah, I've been better."

Danielle let herself stare out the window as the city she once live in flew by, "I know what you mean."

* * *

Finally passing through security with her red visitors badge, Danielle and Auggie began making their way through the maze of hallways inside Langley. "And I thought airport security was bad." She said lightly while holding the blind mans arm as he led her deeper into the building.

Auggie gave his signature grin, "What really sucks is it doesn't let up even after you work here."

Danielle looked at him with a slightly shocked face. "That doesn't seem fair."

He just shrugged and continued walking, tapping his cane in semi-circle motions as they went. "So, Auggie, where are you taking me?"

"Dr. Petersons office."

"Why am I going to see a doctor? Or does the person just have PhD? Or is that even their name?" Danielle asked in a half serious, half sarcastic tone.

Auggie laughed, "He is a psychiatrist."

"Scared I'm going to have a psychotic breakdown?"

"No, we just felt having him there for support would be good for you and everyone involved."

Danielle sighed, "Well maybe I am crazy, I am letting a blind man lead me around the CIA."

"It is a little ironic, a blind man leading you around Langley. That's what I told Annie the first day she worked here." Danielle took in a sharp breath at the mention of her sisters name. Slowing his walk he turned slightly to face the door containing the name Department of PsychoTherapy. "Well, here we are."

He released her arm and held the door open for her. Danielle shot him a sideways glance, "You aren't coming in?"

"I don't have the best history with CIA shrinks and I'm not the person you really need answers from."

Stepping halfway into the door she looked back at him, "What does that mean?"

Propping the door open with his foot, Auggie found her arm and gave it a re-assuring squeeze, "Just trust me. I won't be far."

Danielle nodded quickly and took a deep breath before turning to enter the reception area. Walking in she was met by an extremely tall man who held his hand out for her to shake and introduced himself as Dr. Peterson.

She followed him to his office and they made small talk about her travel experience and the weather in D.C. versus California. Arriving at the door he placed a hand on it and looked her directly in the eye, "Mrs. Brooks, I have someone in my office who needs to talk to you. What they tell you will be hard for you to hear. I will be just outside the door if you need me."

With narrow eyes she glanced up at him, "Okay...?"

Dr. Peterson gave her a nod and a weak smile before opening his door and letting her walk in. A woman with dark hair was sitting in a chair. Hearing Danielle enter the room she stood and turned around right as the door was clicking shut behind the nervous blonde.

Danielle just stared at the woman for a moment, her mouth falling to the floor, tears welling up in her eyes as she slowly recognized the dark haired girl standing before her. Finally finding her voice she managed to whisper, "I, I...Annie?"

The dark haired girl nodded and bit her lip looking at Danielle with eyes full of sadness and fear.

"Oh my God." Danielle breathed as she moved forward to pull her sister into a hug. Tears were streaming down her face as she wrapped her arms around her sisters bony shoulders. They stood there for a few minutes. Danielle finally let go and grabbed Annies arms, holding her at arms length so she could look her in the eye.

Shaking her head she stammered , "I...I...I thought you were dead."

Annie shook her head, "No."

"You let me believe you were dead." Her voice started to have an angry edge to it as she started processing what had just happened.

"I did. And I am so sorry Danielle." Annie pulled her sisters hands from her arms and led her to sit beside her the couch against the office wall. Annie watched Danielles face closely, waiting to see what she would do or say.

Danielle pulled her hands away from Annie and sat up straight looking at her with angry, shocked and sad eyes, "How? Why? Why did you let me think you died? Do you know how horrible that was? I can't believe this is happening. How could you do this to me?" She felt herself losing control of her tone of voice so took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down.

Anne rubbed her arm and looked away, "I had too. It was the only way to...to keep the people I care about safe."

"People you care about? What about me and the girls?"

Annie met her eyes, "Danielle, you are some of the people I was trying to keep safe. If I didn't disappear, it would only have been a matter of time before..." Annie took a deep breath and looked for a way to explain this, "...before you were in danger as well. The people I was chasing would have come after you if I didn't let them and you...think I was dead."

"So you did this to protect me?"

Annie nodded and looked at her clasped hands, "Yes."

"Who? Who was so dangerous you resorted to, to playing dead?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Oh really, you can't tell me who was threatening my life?"

Annie shook her head and looked straight into Danielles eyes, "No, but I promise you the threat no longer exists."

Danielle nodded remembering how her sister saved her life in Stockholm two years earlier.

"Where have you been for the past three months?"

"Copenhagen and here."

"That's it?"

Annie just gave Danielle a narrow eyed sideways glance telling her there was more, but it was information she would never divulge.

Danielle sucked on her cheek and nodded as she looked away from her sister. After a moment of silence she took e breath and turned her eyes to meet the dark haired girls beside her, "If I ask you what happened, will you tell me the truth or will it all be lies?"

Annie tilted her head sideways, her face contorting and showing the conflict inside of her, "The story I can tell you is a partial truth. You will probably know what is made up. Trust me Danielle, you don't want to know the details."

Nodding and taking a moment to scan the room they were in Danielle finally looked Annie in the eye again, "It is a story you can tell while you help me pack up the house?"

Giving the blonde beside her a weak smile, "Yes."

"Good, cause I have a lot to do."

"Consider me your personal packing slave." Annie chuckled and gave her sisters arm a squeeze as she stood. "Dr. Peterson is waiting outside, to talk to us both. Then we can go."

Danielle watched her dark haired sister walk out of the room. The dark hair made her look older, thinner and harder. Whatever she went through had changed her. It was like her little sister was a completely different person. The anger, relief and fear Danielle had been feeling since the moment she recognized Annie kept pumping adrenaline through her body. Her hands shook as she sat and tried to sort through her thoughts. She took a deep breath and pressed her fingers to her forehead.

"Danielle?" Her sisters small voice timidly requested her attention. Looking up she stood.

Dr. Peterson gave her a weak smile, "Mrs. Brooks…."

"You can call me Danielle."

He nodded, "Okay, Danielle, how do you feel about all of this?"

* * *

"Here, Annie, I found another box." Danielle yelled as she re-entered Annies nearly empty guesthouse. They had worked mostly in silence for the past four hours packing the guesthouse and cleaning the main house.

Annie gave her sister a grateful smile, "Thanks."

"You know, you would have half the boxes to move if you would go through that ridiculous shoe collection of yours." Danielle stated with her hands on her hips and a sarcastic grin playing on her face.

Rolling her eyes Annie dumped the last few pairs of shoes into the box. "You never know when you may need them."

Danielle plopped onto Annies mattress, "Hey Annie?"

She looked up and removed the duct tape from between her teeth, "Yeah?"

"I'm ready to hear the story." She used her fingers to make quotation marks and spoke in a deep voice.

Annie took a deep breath and added the box to the stack by the door before coming to sit beside Danielle. "….did you hear about the helicopter in Copenhagen that got shot down by a missile?"

"Of course I saw it. I may not be a spy but I do watch the news."

Annie bit her lip and grinned for a moment before returning to her serious persona, "I was there trying to finalize a deal with an import export friend of mine." Danielle sensed the lie and narrowed her eyes at Annie who rolled hers to point at the floor and went on, "I witnessed the attack and was taken into custody by the Politi. I was kept there for a few weeks before the government arranged for me to return to the US and be put into witness protection until the man who shot off the missile could be caught and prosecuted." Annie rubbed her hand and swallowed hard trying to work up the courage to say what she had to say, "The man was killed..." Her memory flashed to the vision of Goodman struggling atop of her for the gun, the smell of the gunpowder, the sound of him slumping lifelessly on top of her. She had to pause and force the flashback to subside before continuing, "...the threat against me eliminated and I was able to return to my somewhat normal life."

She slowly and timidly brought her eyes up to meet Danielles. Danielle was neither impressed nor comforted nor convinced by the story. "Is that what I am supposed to tell Michael and the girls?"

"Yes."

Danielle stood and half stomped across the room before turning to face Annie with her arms crossed and her face red with anger, "Did you not think about how you dying and suddenly coming back was going to effect your family? I don't know how I am going to ever explain this to the girls. And Michaels family?"

Annie felt tears welling up but she pushed them down and sat up straight and spoke to Danielle like she would an asset she was trying to turn, calmly and emotionlessly, "It will be a hard thing for everyone to accept, it was a hard thing for me to do, but I had to do it."

The look in Danielles eyes pierced Annie's heart. She didn't believe word coming our of her sisters mouth. Annie looked at the floor and whispered, "I'm so sorry Danielle."

She could feel Danielle's fierce gaze on her for a good minute before she picked up one of Annie's boxes and broke the tense silence, "Wanna help me put these in your swanky new Land Rover?" Her voice had an edge to it.

Annie stood and nodded grabbing a box and walking out behind her sister. Opening the trunk they slid the boxes in, "It's not my car?"

Danielle swung her head around, "What did you steal it or does it belong to the…"

Annie spoke over her sister, cutting her off before she announced Annie's occupation to the entire street, "It belongs to my old bosses."

Danielle closed her mouth and softened her face giving Annie a questioning gaze.

"They have let me stay with them while I figure out…..figure out what to do next."

"I assumed you would be staying with Auggie?"

Annie looked at her with tears pooling in her eyes, "No, Auggie and I aren't really together right now. Joan and Arthur needed help with the new baby and I needed a place to stay and I guess something to do with my life. Helping with the baby gave me something to distract me…." She chuckled as she began to realize it was probably the Campbells plan all along to help her out of herself, "…to distract me from everything that happened."

"So, what are you going to do next?" Danielle asked as the two headed back inside. Once behind closed doors she extended her question, "I mean are you going to go back to work for the CIA or..."

Annie avoided her sisters eyes and picked up a box, "Honestly I don't know. I'm not sure I can go back."

* * *

With boxes piled high in the Campbells Land Rover, Annie and Danielle drove across town to drop everything off in storage. The drive was awkwardly silent. Annie knew Danielle had more questions but she was afraid to push her too far, afraid of how she would react to the responses Annie had to give her. She hated lying to people she loved.

Locking the storage container Annie turned to face her sister, "Where are you staying?"

Grinning happily and blushing every so slightly, Danielle responded , "I have a Presidential suite at the Ritz-Carlton in Georgetown."

Annie raised an eyebrow, "Nice."

"Michael booked it, said I needed to spoil myself while I'm here." Danielle opened the car door and looked across the front bench at her sister with wide, excited eyes, "And I have a massage this evening."

Nostalgia took over Annies face, "I'm glad you two were able to work it out."

Danielle shrugged and climbed into the car. "Why don't you stay with me? We could make it a sister spa sleepover, watch a chick flick and eat overpriced ice cream."

Turning her head and smiling from ear to ear, "I would love that."

They started to drive away when Danielle reached to touch Annies dark hair, "And while we're there we can have your hair colored, these roots are awful."

"Danielle!"

The sisters erupted in laughter. Laughter that left Annie feeling alive and happy.

She felt happy.

* * *

Annie pulled into the Campbells driveway and looked over at her blonde older sister, "I need to grab a few thing, want to come inside? They would love to meet you and..."

"Annie, these people put you in danger. I'm not sure I want to ever meet them." The joy and laughter left the car almost as quickly as it had entered. Annie sighed and furrowed her brow, "Danielle, I chose to fake my death and do it alone. They would have stopped me if they could've."

Danielle looked at her with narrow eyes as she bit her tongue and chose a new set of words, "Fine, but don't expect me to be nice to them."

Annie opened the drivers side door and rolled her eyes, "Now why on earth would you think I would want you to be nice to them?"

Danielle groaned and exited the vehicle following the dark head in front of her inside.

"Joan, Arthur?! I'm here with Danielle."

It was Arthur who first emerged from his office taking off his glasses and moving to greet them. "Danielle, I am Arthur Campbell. It is a pleasure to meet you." He held his good hand out for her to shake, which she did.

"Nice to meet you. What happened to your arm?"

Annie and Arthur exchanged glances before he came up with an answer, "Car accident."

Giving her sisters arm a squeeze, Annie excused herself, "I'm gonna go grab some clothes for tomorrow and check on Joan. I'll be right down."

Danielle shot Annie a desperate look as she disappeared up the stairs.

Arthur motioned for her to take a seat in the living room. "So, Danielle, how is California treating you?"

"Fine." She sank into the arm chair and looked at him with a sly question in her gaze, "So, if I ask you what really happened to Annie are you going to..."

Arthur cut her off, "...She was in Copenhagen when the..."

Danielle nodded and waved her hands in frustration cutting him off, "...yeah yeah, when the missile attack happened, witness protection, the man was killed, shes back."

Waiting a moment for her to cool down before he spoke, Arthur replied in a calm, even tone, "The secrets can be hard to live with, but, especially in this case, you need to trust me when I say the truth is harder to live with. Sometimes we have to keep secrets to protect the ones we love." He watched Danielles body language relax as the anger slowly left her eyes. After a moment he felt it was safe to make small talk. "Annie staying with you at the house tonight?"

"No, hotel."

Arthur nodded and leaned forward onto his elbows. "Annie has had a hard time adjusting to being back. She has a hard time sleeping and has nightmares. She was on her own for so long it's hard for her to ask for help, hard for her to trust..." Danielle shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "...You know she has PTSD?"

Danielle nodded, "Dr. Peterson explained that."

"Good, I know you are hurting, just remember she is too."

His concern for her little sister shocked Danielle but she managed to keep a straight face as Annie and an older blonde woman entered the room carrying a newborn.

"Danielle? I am Joan Campbell…and this is Mckenzie."

Danielle stood as the mother in her took over she smiled at the baby boy and cooed at him. "He is adorable."

"Thank you." Joan smiled at Danielle.

"How old is he?"

"Almost two weeks."

"He is tiny."

Joan nodded and took a deep breath, "He came a few weeks early. But he was fine and his timing was perfect."

Annie could see her sisters uncomfortable awkwardness growing so she picked up the bag she had packed and motioned for her to follow her out the door and looking over her shoulder to address the Campbells, "I will see you both tomorrow." Joan and Arthur nodded in acknowledgement but Danielle hadn't moved. "Danielle?"

She snapped back onto reality and smiled graciously, "It was nice to meet you three." Looking Arthur in the eye she inhaled deeply, "And thank you for explaining."

He nodded and pursed his lips. "You two have fun and be safe."

Annie and Joan both shot him confused glances as Danielle exited the room.

* * *

Knowing her sister needed to breathe and relax, Danielle tried her best to keep the evening lighthearted and not ask too many questions. Other than Annie awakening violently twice in the night and scaring the hell out of Danielle, they enjoyed spending time together. It felt like old times, until they went back to the house to sign the closing papers and the memories came flooding back. The day Annie told her she was CIA, the day she kicked Annie out, the day she moved back in. Danielle kept it under wraps, but now as Annie drove her to the airport the anger that had been slowly coming to a boil within her was starting to bubble over.

"Annie can you pull over?"

She looked over at her sister with a surprised look on her face, "Sure. Everything okay?"

Danielle shook her head, "No...no...I tried to just be okay with all of this, but..." Angry tears welling up in her eyes, "...Annie, I thought you were dead, I mourned your loss. You are all the family I have and the only person I have ever trusted completely. I could take the lies about your occupation, about where you traveled too, but letting me believe you were dead? Damnit Annie, I went to grief counseling. I had to explain to your nieces, my daughters that their Aunt Annie was never coming to visit." Her voice had risen from a low roar to a full blown shout. She took a breath and tried to calm herself down, "I know you did what you did to protect me and you keep secrets to protect me and everyone around you, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not angry. I am furious at you. I love you and I'm glad you didn't let me think you were dead forever, but I'm still angry."

Traffic was flying by them shaking the car as they sat on the side of the road. Annie ran a hand through her blonde hair and sighed deeply, "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

Danielle rolled her eyes, "I guess there is nothing else you can say." She turned to face the road again and looked at the cars dashboard to check the time, "We need to get going or I'm going to miss my flight."

Annie nodded and put the car in drive. A silent tear escaped down her cheek as she drove them into the departure drop-off.

They exited the car and Annie opened the trunk to retrieve Danielles bag.

Not looking her sister in the eye Danielle reached and pulled up the handle and turned to walk away but her sisters broken voice stopped her.

"Danielle?"

She turned to face her. Looking Annie in the eye she didn't see a hardened, trained liar, she saw her broken little sister. The deep pain in Annies brown eyes made Danielles heart ache. She knew her words had brought Annie to this point. Letting go of her suitcase she pulled Annie into a hug. Her little sister cried, shaking in Danielles arms with each sob. Tears of sorrow, relief, and grief that Annie hadn't allowed herself to cry for the past few months now came pouring out onto Danielles shoulder. Annie had never cried like this in front of Danielle, much less the entire departure terminal of the Ronald Reagan Airport. As she sobbed she repeated the phrase "I'm sorry" over and over again. A few minutes later Annie calmed down and caught her breath. Danielle stroked her hair and tried to comfort her. Fighting her own tears she found the words she had been looking for throughout Annies breakdown, "Annie, I forgive you..." she said choosing her sister over her anger and pride. Those words sent Annie into another crying fit. Finally able to compose herself she pulled away from her sisters shoulder. Danielle looked her in the eye, "I'm still angry, and frustrated, but...I forgive you." Danielle reached to try and clean up her sisters tear stained face.

"I love you Danielle, and I never meant to hurt you."

"I know." Remembering where they were and why they were there Danielle reached behind her for her suitcase, "I really have to go now."

Annie nodded, "Are we okay?"

Danielle gave her one last quick hug, "I don't know..." Pulling away she looked her in the eye and spoke with determination, "...but we will be."

Annie gave her a weak grin and Danielle squeezed her arm and kissed her forehead before turning to leave, "I will call you when I land...oh wait, you don't have a phone do you?"

Annie chuckled, "No, I'll grab one and text you so you have my number. Fly safe."

Danielle waved and disappeared into the terminal.

* * *

**Kind of a long chapter, kinda a different format, but I hope you enjoyed. I've never written Danielle before so I also hope it translated well! **


	10. Chapter 10

Joan Campbell sank onto the bed beside a disheartened Annie Walker, "Wanna talk about it?"

The girl grit her teeth and kept staring a hole into the wall across from her. Her head, however, involuntary nodded if only ever so slightly. Joan noticed and took it as permission to demand an answer.

"What happened Annie?"

Poking out her upper lip her glare moved from the tan wall to the white carpet, "I lost it."

"You lost it?"

Annie cleared her throat and turned to face her former boss giving the woman a clear view of her bloodshot eyes, "I literally had an emotional breakdown at the airport. In front of everyone."

Joan gave her a confused look, "So...that justifies you coming back home, stomping up to my guestroom and slamming a fist into my mirror?"

"Guess you can tell Dr. Peterson to add anger management to my PTSD treatment."

Joan shook her head and said Annies name with a sigh before standing and walking over to the bathroom doorway where she could see the damage. Shattered glass was strewn all over the tile. The frame the mirror had been in was now hanging lopsided on the wall. A few drops of blood from the cuts on Annies hand had fallen onto the counter top.

Fiddling with the bandages Joan had wrapped around her hand she spoke in a small voice, "I will clean it up and replace the mirror and then I'll...I'm gonna go."

Joan turned to face her. Fighting the frustration that was nearly driving her insane she bit her lip to keep her temper under control before asking with narrow eyes, "And where are you going to go?"

Annie just shrugged pushing Joan to the edge of her self-control. The young blonde sitting in front of her was acting like an out of control teenager and Joan had just about had enough.

"Annie, I don't want you to leave, or clean this up, or sit there in silence like a scolded child. I want you to tell me why you did what you did and not so that I can send Dr. Peterson a report..." Annies brown eyes shot up to glare into Joans icy blue ones, "...I want to know that you are okay."

McKenzie started crying it the other room.

Annie breathed a sigh of relief as Joans attention was instantly pulled away from her. She watched Joan hang her head out the door before coming back to stand in the room and close the door behind her.

"I'm okay if you need to go get him..." she offered hoping Joan would just let her be.

She crossed her arms and shook her head leaning back against the closed door, "Arthur has him. So, mirror, attitude, explain."

Annie had withstood interrogation in Russia for two weeks without saying a word, she had been questioned by MSS and kept her cool, but one glare from Joan Campbell was worse than a week of threats and questions. She was not getting out of that room until she explained herself.

"I expected Danielle to be angry, to have questions. I expected it to be hard to talk to her, to tell her what happened, but I didn't..." Her voice cracked and she pushed her blonde hair out of her face, "...we stood in that airport terminal, and Joan, she forgave me." Tears began streaming down her pale cheeks and she turned to wipe them away so Joan couldn't see. Taking a deep breath she turned her face back toward Joan who had tilted her head sideways and bent her eyes with concern. "...when I got here I looked in the mirror and, I still don't recognize myself..." Annie let silence fall in the room again. Honestly she wasn't sure what came over her. Wasn't sure what her problem was, what was wrong with her? Things went well with Danielle. Things were looking better, life was becoming manageable but for some reason she just couldn't completely let it all go.

"You're frustrated because things aren't returning to, whatever normal is for you, as quickly as you want them too?" Joan asked with a raised brow as she walked across the room and took a seat beside her former operative.

"Yes, and..." her voice trailed off and she turned her eyes back to her bandaged hand.

"And what Annie?"

She flipped her hair back and looked Joan in the eye for a moment before letting her eyes flicker back to the wall in front of her, "I was told to beat Henry, I had to become him..." she scoffed, "...Henry was a monster and I...I wonder how much I became one myself in the process. I lied, I stole things, I was an assassin and a murderer. I let people I love believe I was dead. I failed at saving Teo. I hurt so many just to, just to bring justice or vengeance or whatever it was to one person. One person. All that just to take out Henry Wilcox. I gave up so much and hurt so many that I...I feel like a monster." Annie stood and looked into the bathroom taking in the mess she had made. The room a reflection of what she felt she looked like inside. A broken, bloody mess.

"Annie, come sit." Joan patted the mattress beside her.

Obeying, Annie came and settled back down beside Joan.

"You and I both know you are not a monster. I'm not a mind reader, but I think what set you off is..." She paused and inhaled, "...you can't forgive yourself." The look in Annies eyes confirmed Joan's assumption so she smiled weakly and went on, "...and having the people around you choosing to forgive and embrace who you have become leaves you with one of two options, you can continue to isolate yourself and be bitter…alone...broken?" She gave Annie a pointed glare, "Or you can choose to join the majority and forgive yourself. The only way you can survive in this business is to get really good at forgiveness, at letting things go. The anger you feel is pointed at yourself. I'm not mad at you, Arthur isn't mad, Auggie isn't mad, Danielles anger will not last forever." Annie looked at her with a question in her eyes. Joan nodded, "I promise you, the only person truly angry with you, is you and you have got to forgive yourself."

Tears fell down Annies face and she looked at Joan with blurry, squinted eyes, "How?"

Joan swallowed hard, "By every day reminding yourself you don't owe anything to anyone. There is nothing you need to do to make up for what you've done and that includes coming back to the CIA. Coming back won't fix you. In fact, until you stop blaming yourself for everything that happened, I won't let them bring you back in because you will be working yourself into the ground trying to pay off a debt that doesn't exist."

Annie took a deep breath and let out a few sobs as Joan pulled her head to her shoulder. She stroked the blonde girls hair for a moment, "And concerning Teo..." Annie sat up and looked Joan straight in the eyes, "...Arthur does not blame you, he blames himself. The two of you are similar in that you insist on taking on the weight of the world even when it isn't yours to bare. And you are both incredibly stubborn." Annie chuckled as did Joan.

When her son began crying again Joan stood and motioned for Annie to follow, "Go help Arthur with McKenzie and I will start cleaning up this mess."

Annie paused and presented an argument, "No let me clean up my mess, he will calm down faster if you..."

Opening the door Joan gave Annie a gentle glare, "If changing him doesn't work, there are a few bottles of breast milk in the back of the fridge." Joan smiled with a tilted head and went downstairs to retrieve a broom and dustpan.

* * *

It took some coaxing and negotiating but, Annie finally convinced Joan and Arthur to let her go to the hardware store to replace the shattered mirror. If it weren't for Arthurs arm being in a sling she would have lost the battle.

There were more reasons than just fixing the mess she made that influenced her desire to run the errand. Annie needed to be alone, to think and not feel like someone was hovering over her constantly.

Driving through town she had a strange feeling she was being tailed, but saw no evidence of it. The vehicles around her drew no attention to themselves. No one car popped up more than it should, no cars made sudden changes in course to follow her. Unable to shake the feeling she used evasive driving techniques all the way to the store as a precaution. The last thing she needed was to be caught with her guard down. Downshifting suddenly she threw the back end of the BMW around the median making a fast u-turn and causing chaos around her. People were obviously irate at her sudden move but no one followed.

"You are just being paranoid. Calm down Annie." She said to herself while scanning the mess behind her in the rear-view. _I wonder what Dr. Peterson would think about me talking to myself. _The thought caused a grin to creep onto the corners of her mouth.

Pulling into the ACE parking-lot she scanned the area. Everything looked normal, nothing was causing a red flag. Convinced she was just being paranoid she took a deep breath and walked toward the entrance while trying to push the unsettling feeling out of her mind. Her phone vibrating in her pocket distracted her from her muse for a moment.

"Danielle?"

_"Yeah, I just wanted you to know I landed...It's really nice to be able to call you again." _

"It's nice to hear your voice. Have you talked to Michael yet?"

"_Annie, I just landed." _Danielle emphasized the word just and Annie could hear annoyance in her tone._ "I'm just now walking into the luggage terminal. Once I have had a chance to explain everything to him I promise to call... " _

_"_Okay. Danielle?"

_"Yeah?" _

"I love you, and thank you."

_"For what?"_

Annie sighed, "For being my sister."

_"I love you too. And I will always be your sister now I gotta go. Talk soon."_

Annie could hear Michaels voice greeting his wife right before the phone clicked off. She flipped the phone shut and stuffed it into her pocket as her leisurely walking had taken her to the aisle of mirrors. Lifting her eyes to find a mirror similar to the one she destroyed she couldn't help but chuckle at herself. Annie Walker was walking through a hall of mirrors that forced her to look at herself. _Maybe this experience should be added to my book of nightmares._

Halfway down the hall Annie stopped to examine a mirror that was similar if not exactly the same. Examining her reflection in the mirror she saw two dark eyes enter the frame and stare directly at her reflection. A gasp escaped Annies lips as her mind slowly put a label on the figure behind her. The man grinned, obviously proud of himself for sneaking up on her. Turning, Annie threw herself into his arms. "What are you doing in D.C.?"

The man released his hold on her and held her shoulders at arms length so he could examine his old friend, "I could ask you the same thing Neshsma."

Annie laughed and rolled her eyes and gave him a playful punch in the bicep, "And how do you always do that?"

His face feigned innocence as he pretended to be offended, "Do what?"

Annie just narrowed her eyes at him.

"I heard you were back in DC and wanted to welcome you back from the dark. I did, however, expect to see you with dark hair, or was the hair dye in the bag I gave you not good enough for you?." He reached a hand and ran his fingers through her shiny blonde hair.

Annie chuckled and swatted his hand away, "The dye was fine, and my hair was dark until yesterday. Danielle was in town and was complaining about my 'awful roots' so she took me to get it dyed."

"Did the agency change their policy on reading family in?"

"No. The story I was able to tell her was a fraction of the truth thrown into a lie. I think they needed me to read her in so I can come back…considering it was actually their idea to read her in."

"How was that?"

Annie sighed, "Hard. My sister thought I was dead, so you can imagine how confusing it was for her."

"And how are you Neshema? How are you handling all of this?"

Annie looked at the concrete floor and shifted awkwardly before forcing herself to meet his eyes, "I'm doing better." He opened his mouth to ask another question but Annie tilted her head to the side and cut him off, "How long have you been following me?" She asked remembering the feeling she was being tailed earlier in the day.

"Just since you left to come here. Nice driving by the way." She shrugged in false humility, "A little bird told me you were staying at the Campbells, so I took it upon myself to make sure the little bird was telling the truth and indeed he was."

"Does this little bird have a name?"

Eyal ignored her question and went on with his story in his normal egotistical tone "Knowing how much Joan adores me..." he raised an eyebrow, his words dripping with sarcasm, "...I figured it would be smart to make my approach when you were alone."

Annie took a deep breath, "Probably wise."

He winked at her, "So, why are you shopping for a mirror? Moving into your own place again?"

Annie rolled her eyes and turned back to the task Eyal had distracted her from, "Not exactly...I broke the one in the Campbells guest bath."

He tisked at her and shook his head, "Annie, Annie, Annie...wait, are you going by Annie or something else?"

"Yes, back to Annie."

"So, Germany wasn't the end of Annie Walker?"

She picked up the box containing the mirror she needed and tried to think of an answer, "Technically no, but in some ways it feels like it was." She met his eyes for a moment and saw his concern and compassion. Proceeding to carry the box to the checkout, Eyal stood in her path and reached to take the box from her hands.

"Eyal, I've got it."

Ignoring her he pried the cardboard free, "Yes you do, but I am here, your hand is apparently injured." He pointed his eyes at the white bandages wrapped around her right hand, "…so let me help you."

Reluctantly she stopped fighting him for control and came alongside him. They walked in silence as Annie checked out and led him to the car where he deposited the box.

Closing the trunk, the tall Israeli propped himself up on the back of the car, "So, Annie Walker, what is next for you?"

She leaned against the back of the car beside Eyal, "I don't know."

"I'm surprised your protocol hasn't dictated you spend a month in some CIA safe house in the middle of nowhere being debriefed."

Crossing her arms she shook her head, "No, there is no protocol for an agent coming in like I am." She looked up at him, "What does Mossad do for an agent coming in from the cold?"

He shrugged, "It is as rare in Israel as it is for you here, but..." he cleared his throat, "...the one time I saw it happen the person came back, he had a polygraph, a psychological evaluation, a physical, and I was assigned to follow him around to… make sure he wasn't a double. He had to explain to everyone where he had been while on his own, then was given a new cover and put on his merry way. It was hard for him tho, to adjust. I could see his struggle…." Eyals voice drifted away.

"The story seems to be the same for the CIA. Although I haven't had a physical yet, I think I am now at three polygraphs, my evaluation turned into twelve weeks of therapy, and I haven't even decided yet if I want to come back."

He looked at her, unable to hide the surprise in his eyes and voice, "You think you are done?"

"Maybe..." She shook her head and struggled to find the right words, "The things I did, Eyal, I can't un-do them and I don't want to be put in a position like that ever again." She looked at the ground and crossed her right foot over he left, "Everything changed for me."

Eyal stood up straight and moved so he was standing directly in front of her, grasping her shoulders he waited for her to look him in the eyes. With a flip of her hair she did. "Annie, you know I have had my own set of regrets when it comes to my choice to live this life. It is hard and it tests everything you believe is true. But Neshema, if we don't do it, people like Henry Wilcox will win every time. I think you still have it in you...I don't know what you went through, but, if you don't come back in a way, Henry won." Annie inhaled sharply at the sound of his name. "Don't let him cripple you. I will be here for you whatever you decide, as a friend because I believe in you."

Tears began to creep into Annies eyes, "I'm just not sure it's worth it anymore."

Releasing her shoulders, Eyal stepped back, "I can't tell you if it is or isn't. You have to decide that for yourself."

Annie nodded and bit her lip.

"Well Neshema, I must go. I have a meet with an asset in an hour." Pulling her up to envelop her in a hug he whispered into her ear, "I am glad you are back, Annie Walker."

Releasing her he turned to walk away and waved, "I will see you again soon Neshema."

Annie let herself smile and turned to climb into the car. Looking for Eyal in the rear-view mirror and realizing she wouldn't find him she chuckled at herself. He had done his disappearing act once again.

* * *

"The left corner is higher than the right."

Annie tapped the mirror, "Better?"

"Mmmm...not quite..."

Once again Annie attempted to straighten the hanging object. "There?"

"Perfect."

Annie let out a relieved sigh. "Sorry about all that."

Picking up the empty box and stuffing the packaging into it Joan shook her head, "It is okay. Thanks for hanging a new one."

McKenzie began to fuss from his spot in the middle of Annies bed. Annie walked by, leaning over him she replaced his pacifier that had come out of his mouth. He quickly began sucking away and returned to his satisfied state. Annie smiled at him.

"Hey Joan…?"

She tied the trash bag and set it beside the door, "Yeah?"

Pausing the blonde took a seep breath and waited for Joans un-divided attention, "I wanna come back. Back to the CIA."

Joan tried to hide the mixture of shock, joy, and worry Annies words caused her to feel. She moved to sit in the blue armchair by the window, "You do?" Annie nodded and settled Indian style on the bed next to McKenzie who was grasping at her finger. Joan raised her eyebrows, "Are you sure you are ready to make that decision?"

Annie looked down at the baby boy laying beside her, "No." She looked up at Joan, "I may never be, but it has to be made and, someone has to do the job. I think I can still do some good for my country, my family." Her eyes fell back down to the baby squeezing her finger.

Joan narrowed her eyes at Annie, "What happened to make you decide you wanted to come back? There's something you aren't telling me."

Biting the inside of her cheek, Annie momentarily considered lying, "I ran into Eyal today."

"You did?" Joan looked extremely un-impressed and slightly angry.

"Yeah. Somehow, talking to him settled it in me. I want back in.

Joan sighed, "Well, when we go back in the day after tomorrow you can tell Calder."

"We?"

"Yes…we..." Joan nodded and twiried her wedding ring around her finger before standing and leaning against the bed, "…the beginning of the process for me to go back to work…"

Twisting her mouth, Annie carefully asked her next question, "How does Arthur feel about it?"

Joan chuckled through her nose and climbed to sit beside her son and blonde operative on the bed, "He is worried, and not excited, but he is supporting me."

"How do you two do this?"

"Do what Annie?"

"This...marriage, work, now family?"

"Not always well, but one day, one challenge at a time." Joan gave her a weak smile, "Speaking of challenges, Arthur is having his stitches removed tomorrow, it is McKenzies two week check-up, and since you have decided to return, I can have a CIA physician meet us at the hospital and do your physical at the same time?"

Annie nodded and looked down at her hand before lifting it off her lap, "What do I tell them happened to my hand?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Good morning, Annie? I am Dr. Williams." The medium height Indian woman entered Annies exam room and extended a hand. Annie nodded and greeted her, "Morning."

After eyeing the blonde sitting on the examination table briefly she turned her attention to the information on her clipboard, "Well, your blood work looks good. No red flags there." Flipping to the next page she furrowed her brow and focused on Annie's face, "But you have lost ten pounds since your last physical...?"

"Uh, my most recent mission was...complicated, eating wasn't exactly on the forefront of my mind, but I am eating. The weight-loss was probably due to stress more than anything." Dr. Williams nodded and flipped the papers back before setting the clipboard on the sink and pulling a flashlight out of her pocket.

"So..." she began flashing the light across Annies brown eyes,"...I have a note on your file that you suffered a head trauma in the field? You lost consciousness after a car accident?"

Annie nodded once the onslaught of light died down, "Yes, it was two weeks ago tho…" Meeting Dr. Williams eyes she shook her head and smiled dismissively, "…nothing to worry about."

Dr. Williams did not look so convinced, "Well, I want to do a CT scan just in case." She picked up the clipboard, "You are attending therapy sessions?" She pointed her eyes and question directly at the blonde girl as she shifted awkwardly making the paper covering the table crinkle with her movements.

"I am." Annie nodded and looked at the floor.

"It says you have been going to sessions for PTSD treatment, and you haven't been sleeping well. It is possible the concussion caused damage that is effecting your ability to sleep and recover...it's not likely you have any permanent damage but I would like to check..." She clicked her pen shut and stuffed it into her pocket, "...a nurse will come get you and take you up to imaging." Giving Annie a quick, re-assuring smile she left Annie alone in the examination room.

* * *

Baby McKenzie in one arm, his charts in the other, Joan swiftly navigated through the halls leading from the Mother and Childrens wing to the General Care area. Reaching the nurses station she promptly demanded a nurses attention, "Hi, I need to know what room my husband was put in. His name is Arthur Campbell and he is having stitched removed." The nurse smiled and nodded calmly, "Room 319, follow me, I will take you to him."

"Thank you."

The red-haired nurse looked over at Joan as they walked side-by-side, "Your son's two week checkup today?"

Joan glanced over at her before nodding, "Mhmm, checkups, stitches, labor, surgery, after the past few weeks I feel we should just move in."

The nurse chuckled and opened door 319, "He is right in here."

Entering the room she saw her shirtless husband lying on his side facing away from her. A nurse was working away removing the stitches from his side that was pointed toward the ceiling. The nurse paused and turned to see who had entered the room, "Mrs. Campbell I assume?" Joan nodded and stepped into the room, "Let me get you a chair." He removed his gloves and pushed a chair over so she could sit face to face with Arthur.

Joan settled into her seat as the nurse pulled on a new pair of gloves and returned to his task.

She could see how un-comfortable Arthur was. His face twisted slightly. Joan moved to the edge of her seat and reached her free hand to give his a squeeze, "You okay?"

Giving her a slight nod and a re-assuring smile he turned his attention to his son, "So, how is our little man?"

Releasing his hand, Joan turned McKenzie in her arms so he could see his fathers face, "He is perfect. Gained 4 ounces, good reflexes. He did not like the whole process tho. No ear-splitting cries but he whimpered the entire time." Joans brow furrowed and her eyes watered at the memory. Snuggling her son to her chest, she went on, "I hated seeing him feel like he wasn't safe."

Arthur reached a hand toward her which Joan took as their eyes met, "But he is safe, and you are a great mother." A dimpled grin came over Joans face as she leaned forward to kiss Arthurs cheek. "I love you, ya know?"

"I love you too, both of you." His eyes wide and full of joy.

"Okay, Mr. Campbell. Stitches are out. I need you to lie still until your doctor comes in and takes a look, but I think you are going to be good to go."

Arthur turned his head as much as he could to thank the nurse as he left the room.

Standing to her feet, Joan leaned over her husband curiously to see the damage. "Well, Arthur, you have three new scars" she stated running a finger gently over the puckered skin.

She watched his body shake as he laughed, "That mean I have the most scars now?"

Joan rolled her eyes and sat back into the chair, "Really? It's a competition?"

He gave her a coy grin, "We can count later."

* * *

Back in the examination room Annie sat on the edge of the table swinging her legs impatiently. She had been there over two hours and was more than ready to leave. Her phone vibrating offered temporary relief from the mind-numbing boredom.

"Yeah."

_"Hey, it's me."_

"What's up Auggie?"

_"I have the intel on David you asked for. Is it possible you can come in today so I can read you in."_

"Uh, yeah. I'm at the hospital with the Campbells but..."

_"Wait, why are you all at the hospital? Something happen?"_

Annie chuckled, "No Auggie, McKenzie had a check-up, Arthur had his stitches removed and I am having a physical."

_"Sounds like torture."_

"Basically."

_"What hospital are you at? I can send a car to bring you in once you're done."_

"Georgetown Memorial. I'm waiting on my CT scan results then I think I'm good to go."

_"CT scan?"_

"Checking to make sure my brain wasn't damaged in New York." A knock on the door divided Annies attention, "I gotta go Auggie."

_"Alright I'll text you once I have a car on the way."_

"Sounds good." Annie ended the call as Dr. Williams closed the door behind her.

"So, is my brain all scrambled from the crash or..."

Dr. Williams shook her head, "No, nothing looks damaged. I am going to send a copy to your psychiatrists' office..." She raised an eyebrow and changed her tone as she referenced Langley "...he will likely want to see it anyway."

Annie nodded and poked her lips out, "Great, so I am good to go?"

Inhaling deeply Dr. Williams looked the blonde operative sitting in front of her straight in the eye, "Yes. In my opinion you should be cleared for fieldwork."

Pushing herself off the table Annie curtly thanked the Indian woman and reached for the door but was blocked by Dr. Williams who looked at her with narrow eyes, "Annie...seeing as you had a concussion and didn't seek treatment for two weeks, I am going to assume you are jump first type of operative. I am clearing you, but I want you to be careful. Don't push too far too fast. Give your body time to heal before you throw it through the ringer again." She moved herself out of Annies way and opened the door for her, "Good luck Annie."

Biting her cheek Annie nodded and headed down the hall.

* * *

Dr. Jefferson helped Arthur Campbell sit up straight in the hospital bed. "How do you feel Arthur?"

He grunted a little as he adjusted himself, "Weak and a little sore."

The man in a lab coat lifted Arthurs arm that had spent two weeks immobilized and tested his range of motion. "Pain level on a scale of one to ten?"

"Two."

Joan stood from her seat and moved to the foot of his bed, "And by two, he means four..." Arthur suppressed a groan as Dr. Jefferson continued moving his arm into different positions. Joans eyes intensely glared at her husband when she heard the sound, "...make that a five."

Finally letting Arthurs arm rest at his side Dr. Jefferson gave his patient a half smile and reached for the clipboard, "So, pain level is a five..."

Arthur feigned offense as he glanced between his doctor and his wife who had a satisfied smile on her face.

The doctor bent over and took one last look at the two wounds in Arthurs side, "You have healed quickly Arthur..." Moving his attention to the scar on Arthurs bicep area he went on, "...but I am going to send you to physical therapy for six weeks. Your range of motion is not where I wanted it and after two weeks in a sling, you have some atrophy. Your side is still healing so no lifting anything heavier than ten pounds. No rigorous exercise. I'll see you again in six weeks and I expect to be able to clear you."

Arthur nodded reaching for his button down he started dressing himself and glanced at his son currently napping in Joans arms, "I can hold my son now tho?"

Dr. Jefferson smiled and nodded "Absolutely. I will send a nurse in with the name of a local physical therapist then you three can go home."

Once they were alone Arthur swung his legs off the side of the bed. Joan walked toward him and let him take McKenzie from her arms. Crossing one arm over her ribcage and propping her elbow on it, she covered her lips with her fingers as she watched her husbands face light up as he cuddled their son with both hands for the first time. Arthur brought his sons head near and lightly kissed his tiny, smooth forehead. He looked up at his wife, eyes wet with tears, "I can't believe I almost missed this." Joans hand reached to cup her husbands cheek, "But you didn't" she whispered as she inched closer to his lips. Returning to her full height she delicately picked up the necklace resting on her chest and ran it back and forth on the chain while she watched her husband and son. Arthur spoke softly to the baby boy as he cuddled and bounced the bundle in his arms.

A light knock on the door interrupted their reverie, Joan turned her head, "Come on in."

Annie poked her blonde head though the door "It's me."

Joan released the necklace and motioned for her to come alongside. Annie entered the room feeling awkward as she intruded on their family moment. Pulling the car keys from her pocket she held them out to Joan, "Are you okay driving home?"

Taking the keys Joan nodded and both she and Arthur gave Annie an inquisitive look that demanded she explain the change in plans, "Auggie called, he has the inel on...on Sana and David I asked him about a few days ago."

"How are you getting there?"

"Auggie is sending a car. It should be here in five minutes."

Arthur cleared his throat to attract the attention of the two blonde women in front of him, "How was your physical?"

Glancing from Arthur to Joan nervously Annie gulped down a swallow and responded with confidence and clarity, "Fine. I am cleared for fieldwork. Well, according to this doctor." She rolled her eyes thinking of the four to eight weeks of therapy she had left with Dr. Peterson. Joan shot Annie a sympathetic look and squeezed her crossed arm, "You will get there. It's a process." Annie nodded and looked at the floor and Joan let go of her operatives arm, "You need to go, the car will be waiting for you."

Standing to attention Annie moved toward the door. Arthurs voice made her pause as she pulled on the doorknob, "Annie?"

She turned to face him, eyes moving from examining Joans narrow glare at her husband to Arthurs furrowed brow, "Let us know when you are headed home?" he requested cautiously.

A grin slid across her lips, "I will."

* * *

Finally through security Annie saw Auggie waiting for her just past the final checkpoint.

"Auggie..."

He smiled upon hearing her voice, "Walker...nice to see you, well it would be if I could see." Annie rolled her eyes and smiled as she offered her arm to him before the two proceeded toward the DPD.

"So, are you stalking me now?" Annie asked flirtatiously.

"Now why would you ever think that?" He gave her a sly grin and continued, "I pulled some strings and assigned myself as your on-campus escort."

With at groan and a roll of her head Annie asked, "When are they going to stop assigning me an escort every time I walk in the building."

Auggie shrugged, "What, you don't like taking long, leisurely walks with yours truly?"

Annie looked over at him, her mouth open letting out a silent chuckle, "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Yeah, I know. Once you are officially re-instated you should get your badge back. Probably with a super low level clearance but you will be able to get into the building without needing an escort and having to sign in every time. Well, your ID technically signs you in because the server uses..."

Annie interrupted him, "Auggie, I get the picture."

He gave her a sheepish grin, "Sorry."

The two of them walked into he DPD. Annie tried to just focus on getting into Auggies office as the stares and whispers initiated upon her entry. Auggie felt her tension and spoke quietly, "Keep your head up. You will be old news soon enough." Annie nodded as they reached Auggies sliding door.

Auggie went straight to his workstation. Annie watched him make his way around the room to set-up the brief. It felt like old times. He went through his routine and Annie remembered the last time she sat in his office to receive a briefing on new intel. A sadness hit her as her mind went back to a happier time. She ached to go back.

"Okay, screens are up." Annies eyes shot up from his figure behind the computer monitor to the TV screen behind him. Annie crossed her arms and stepped closer to the screen, "What am I looking at?"

"A copy of a letter signed by Interpol President, Mireille Balstrazzi. She was contacted by a friend of mine in the Interpol office who explained the situation."

Annie read down the page, "This says David is acquitted of all charges and apologizes to him for the inconvenience."

Auggie smirked at himself, "It pays to have friends in many places."

Flipping her hair, Annie turned to face him, "You have friends everywhere." She thought she could literally see his head getting bigger as he stood straight and responded, "Why yes I do."

Annie let out a nasally chuckle and rolled her eyes as she propped herself against his desk. "Speaking of your world-wide network of friends, did you tell Eyal how to find me?"

Auggies brow furrowed as he reached behind him to find the chair and sink into it. He leaned back and raised a quizzical brow, "Now why would I do that?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"I thought you could use some cheering up and I knew he was in town."

"How did you know he was here?"

Auggie tilted his head to the side, "Ehh, that's classified."

"I hate that sentence so much."

Auggies office door sliding open interrupted them both. Annie whipped her hair around to see Calder in the doorway.

"Annie Walker, nice to see you back here in your element...and with blonde hair again too." He said blinking and stepping into the room feeling a slight wave of déjà vu as he did.

Auggie spoke up first, "Calder Michaels, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

"I need to steal Annie for a few minutes." He nodded and eyed her, "We have a lot to talk about."

Taking a deep breath, Annie stood.

Sensing she needed a moment with Auggie he leaned forward and pinted to Annie as he turned to leave, "I'll meet you in the hall Walker."

Alone again Annie put a hand on Auggies shoulder.

"So you went back blonde?"

"Danielle insisted."

Auggie nodded, "What do you need to talk to Calder about."

"My decision." Annie whispered and squatted down in front of him letting him take her hands in his, "Your decision about what?"

"My involvement with the CIA."

Auggie inhaled sharply and waited for Annie to potentially confirm his greatest fear. Annie watched worry, concern, and fear play on his features.

"I decided….I decided to come back."

Letting a grin lift half of his lip, Auggie sighed, "You sure?"

Annie released his hands and stood to her full height, "No, but Eyal reminded me if I don't do this, someone else will step-in and there is no guarantee they will have the right motive. I need to so this."

Understanding but un-sure how to feel about her decision Auggie whispered, "Okay."

Annie walked toward the door, "Auggie, could we grab lunch the next time I'm here for a session?"

"I would like that."

Annie blushed slightly and slid his door shut behind her.

* * *

Settling into his seat behind the desk of the DCS Calder looked over Annie with narrow eyes, "So, I hear you have made a decision about returning?"

Annie scratched her left pointer finger with her right thumb and pondered the way this conversation would change the rest of her life, "I have."

"And?" Calder demanded unable to hide his impatience.

With a deep, slow breath Annie met his eyes and spoke with an even but intense tone, "I want to come back."

Lifting his chin, Calder continued to bore holes in her face with his eyes, "Well then…." He stood and walked around to perching himself on the desk so he was closer to Annie, "…we will start nailing down a NOC for you and once you are released by Dr. Peterson…." He perceived Annie wince ever so subtly at his name so he narrowed his eyes once again, "…we will find a place for you in the CIA."

Annie looked up at him, a question in her eyes, "I won't just go back to the DPD?"

Calder crossed his arms and shook his head, "No, technically your last assignment was special projects for the office of the DCS. Joan transferred you out, remember?"

Blinking as the memory entered her conscious thoughts, Annie briefly brought her hand to her forehead, "Yeah, it all happened so fast I never even had time to adjust to the idea."

"Well, once I have some official options we can talk about I will call you in. Until then, rest, take care of yourself and we will work on clearing a path for you to return."

Standing Annie ran a hand through her blonde hair, "I'll try. Thanks Calder….for believing in me and helping us get this mission done."

"It was a hell of a mission, but, you Annie Walker are one hell of an operative and probably the only one who could've accomplished what you did. We are proud of you."

Annie looked at the carpet. After a moment of increasingly awkward silence she looked up to meet Calders dark, piercing eyes, "Is that all you need?"

"Yes, you are free to go." She looked at him wondering if he was going to escort her down, sensing her question Calder walked beside her to his office door and held it open for her, "I think you know your way out." He said with a wink.


	12. Chapter 12

Peering out the window Annie used her eye movements to experiment with the way her mind perceived the trees flying past her. Focus on one tree and if you can move your eyes fast enough to stay with the tree, it seems stationary until it disappears. Effortlessly stare at everything and it all flies by making it seem time was passing faster. The closer to the car, the faster it seems to move. The repetitive movement across her retina was mesmerizing.

"Overheard you on the phone with Danielle last night."

Annie turned her empty eyes from the passenger side window and pointed them at the middle consul between her and Joan.

"Michael didn't take the news well?"

Two brown eyes encircled by dark circles from a sleepless night arose to meet hers briefly. With a deep breath those two brown eyes led her face to turn toward the road ahead. "No."

Joans blue eyes momentarily squinted and took in Annies non-verbals. "You didn't sleep at all did you?"

Propping an elbow on the car door Annie hunched over and rested her head on her hand rubbing her forehead as she responded in a heavy tone, "No."

_"I'm so sorry. Michael doesn't want you to see the girls." Danielles voice cracked as the tears Annie couldn't see but could hear fell down her face. "Annie he is angry. I think it will pass, but it will take time. Just give us some time to work through this." Michaels raised voice came over the speaker before Danielle ended the call abruptly, "I have to go." _

Her sisters words replayed in Annies mind all night. Nightmares of her time in the dark returned with a vengeance. She awoke every time more angry and frustrated than the time before. Now she had to pull it together. _Dr. Peterson will never clear me if he sees me this way. Why do I even care? Why am I here? Why the hell did I decide to come back? Why didn't I just stay dead? _The questions, the pent-up pain, Annie clenched her eyes shut and tried to turn it all off as the Land Rover neared the security checkpoint.

* * *

Red visitors badge clipped to the waist of her pencil skirt, Annie emerged from the security checkpoint to find Joan waiting for her inside, hands behind her back, head tilted sideways as she watched the blonde move towards her. The outfit, the heels, the hair, she looked like the old Annie Walker until you met her hollow empty eyes. No life, no mischief, not even suspicion, just pain. Joan cringed inwardly and scolded herself for thinking the worst was over.

"You're my escort?"

"I dismissed your other escort when I realized you left this…" the hands behind her back moved forward, her right one clutching Annie's notebook. "…at the personal item drop-station."

Annie lifted her chin and took the abused spiral bound notebook with her hand that showed the marks the shattered mirror left.

With the turn of her head Joan motioned for Annie to walk with her to Dr. Petersons office. "I'm assuming there is something in there you don't want coming up in your session?"

Annie just looked straight ahead as a stone cold expression settled onto her face, "It was a long night."

The two blondes arrived at Dr. Petersons office, "My poly shouldn't take more than an hour." Her hand gripped Annies arm slightly tighter than necessary. Annies eyes met Joans in response. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria then we'll go?" Annie nodded and took a deep breath in an attempt to soften her hard features before walking through the door behind her.

Joan started to walk away but paused and hesitantly whirled around, "Annie…"

The girl stopped in the doorway, Joan narrowed her eyes and exhaled, briefly looking around the hall to see who was in earshot, "…this is where it gets hard. Don't you quit on me." Mustering a weak smile, Annie shook her head, "I'm not." Her blond head disappeared into the room and Joan hurried down for her polygraph.

* * *

Dr. Peterson sat back in his armchair across from Annie. He had been silently flipping through the notebook now for five minutes….Annies eyes darting between the floor, him, and the clock on the wall. _Take your_ _time_, she thought to herself_ the longer you read the less time you have to ask redundant questions._

The second hand ticked twenty three more times before he shut the notebook and looked up at her, "What happened to your hand?" His southern accent creeped into his speech as he inquired about her injuries.

Annie blinked, slightly taken aback by his first question of choice. Glancing down at the scabbed over cuts on her knuckles she ran her thumb over them, "I cut it on some broken glass."

"Broken glass?"

His dark eyes were piercing and focused. He wasn't going to relent until he got the full truth. Annie swung her blonde hair over to one side and slouched back in the chair, eyes falling to the carpet, "I put it through a mirror." Her eyes and head rolled up as she looked straight ahead to survey his reaction.

"Why?"

"I didn't like the mirror." Her sarcasm was met by another soul piercing glare, "…I was feeling angry, humiliated, frustrated...that a long enough list of emotions for you?"

"Why were you feeling angry, humiliated, frustrated? Did things not go well with your sister?"

Annie looked down at the hands, "No, I mean, they did, she is still talking to me, but I….I had a bit of what you may call an emotional breakdown when I dropped her off."

"Meaning…you cried?"

She looked at him with an annoyed glare, "More like bawled hysterically."

"Annie there is nothing wrong with expressing emotion in tears. It is healthy. Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Shame was not on that list of emotions I gave you to work with."

"Fine, angry with yourself for showing your weakness in the moment?" Annie shrugged, "Humiliation for letting it all out in front of someone?" Annie bit her lip and Dr. Peterson knew it was on the right track. "And frustration, frustration because in-spite of your new look, you still don't feel like yourself?"

"Maybe." She responded just barely over a whisper.

"Feeling embarrassed, humiliated are all expressions of a deeper emotion of shame."

Annie bit her lip and shook her head, "Everyone keeps telling me I am a hero, I did the right thing, but I still lied, hurt people, killed people, and I live everyday wondering if I had been more cunning, been a better spy, how could I have avoided the fallout?" The words flew out of her mouth without her permission or her forethought. True as they were, they were thoughts she never imagined being able to express.

Pen to paper, Dr. Peterson completed his note and looked up at her, "Now you feel regret for your actions, but, in the moment what did you feel?"

"Nothing, I didn't have time."

"Exactly. The emotions you had to put on the back-burner just to survive didn't go away. Now, you have to deal with each one." He paused and leaned forward onto his elbows, "Annie, what is your greatest fear?"

Mouth opening and closing like a fish she shook her head, "I don't….what do you mean?"

"Shame is a feeling of guilt or regret and is often caused by a fear of, for example inadequacy. So I ask again, what are you afraid of?"

There was a long pause as Annie searched her mind for a response, "Part of this job is getting inside the head of your enemy, finding a weakness and exploiting it. To beat them, you have to, to an extent, become them and I…I'm afraid I became the monster I was trying to beat. I spent so much time trying to understand Henry, I felt sympathy for him. He was insane and a horrible man, but he was grieving and I….I understood. I feel…part of me feels guilty for killing him because I wanted to save him."

_"I saved your life."_

_"Deciding not to kill someone is not the same thing as saving them."_

_"Yes it is"_

Annies brow furrowed as she remembered Teos words. Dr. Peterson observed the visible change in her face as she processed what she just confessed. "Annie, whatever part of Henry you embraced in order to kill him and save the people threatened by him, that part died with him in that alley in Hong Kong, and you need to leave it there. Guilt and shame over time lost, and decisions you cannot re-make will destroy you. Don't focus on the one man you couldn't save…" her eyes shot up and met his, "…focus on the lives you did save and go from there."

Giving her a moment to process and relax, he changed the tone of the conversation, "I got a call from Calder saying you have decided to come back?"

Annie inhaled and flipped her head, "I have."

"Can I ask what made up your mind? The last time we discussed it, you weren't sure you could come back…"

Annie shrugged, "If I don't who will, 'And if not now, when?'"

Dr. Peterson chuckled, "Hillel the Elder?"

Annie grinned and nodded.

"A dead Jewish priest changed your mind?"

"No, but talking with and old Jewish friend did. Indirectly perhaps old Hillel did. I've asked myself why I told Calder I wanted back in everyday since I did. I don't have a definitive answer for you, I just know I need to do it."

"Hmm" He nodded contemplatively and made another note. "Can you trust the CIA?"

"The organization as a whole, never again. Certain people in it, eventually."

"You mean Auggie?"

Annie groaned, "My hour is over."

"No, I wasted part of it catching up on some reading." He said tossing the notebook across the room at her.

"I trust him as my handler. Honestly, I accomplished so much on my own I just don't see the value in having people order me around and defining what I need to know...I said I wanted back. I didn't say I trust the CIA"

"You had help when you caught Henry. Correct?"

Annie poked out her bottom lip, "Yeah…?"

"You trusted in a team enough to get the mission done. What has changed? Seems to me you are better when you're not on your own."

Annie almost felt offended, "I said I didn't trust the CIA, not that I didn't trust Auggie."

"I think you want to make sure you position yourself in a way that you need people. There is independence then there is isolation. You need people in your life you can work with and trust on both a professional and a personal level. Needing people is not a weakness...it is evidence of humanity."

* * *

Standing just outside his office, Annie observed him as he worked. Barber looked up from his workstation across the room and opened his mouth to speak but Annie widened her eyes and held a finger to her lips. He nodded knowingly and left the room.

Annie knocked on Auggies office doorframe. He pulled off his headphones and turned his head toward the sound, "Someone there?"

Annie stepped into the room and stood near the edge of his desk, "It's me."

A smile slowly turned up Auggied lips, "Walker, what a…" That smile left his face as fast as it came. Annie's eyes narrowed in confusion. Auggie stood and lifted a fisted hand in slow motion before dropping it onto the table and sighing, "We had lunch plans didn't we?"

Noticing the pile of paperwork on his desk and the way the DPD was busier than usual she understood his frustration, "Auggie, if you've got too much going on today we can re-schedule. It is okay. I understand."

Auggie shook his head and dialed on the phone, a womans voice answered, _"Yes sir."_

Annie grinned proudly hearing him called sir. "Lisa, can you come in here real quick."

A moment later a young woman with dark curly hair entered his office, "Need something?"

"Yes, I am going to grab lunch. Can you monitor this feed?" He asked motioning for her to come around the table. "If you need anything I will be in the cafeteria but Barber is read in and can probably handle your questions…."

"Yes sir."

Realizing there was no clicking of keys behind him he turned his head toward where Barber should've been, "Where is Barber by the way?"

Hearing his name he half ran back into the room and slid into his chair, "Right here boss."

"Okay. Ill be back in thirty." Auggie ran the back of his hand over the smooth surface of his desk until his hand nudged his cane. Picking it up he un-folded it and moved around to find Annie who had moved herself out of the way into the front corner of the room.

Annie hesitantly reached for his arm offering him her elbow, "Auggie it is really okay if you need to stay." He put his hand holding his cane over her hand, "No, I need to eat, you need to eat, Lisa can hold down the fort for half an hour." The last statement was pointed behind him and Annie saw the dark haired girl give a re-assuring nod more for Annies sake than Auggies. He pulled her to make her move and lead him out of the DPD. "I wish I could take you somewhere nicer, but the CIA caf is gonna have to do today."

Annie shook her head as they walked, "Nothing wrong with where we are."

Halting his footsteps, Auggie pulled her around to face her, "As in our physical location or as in where _we_ are?"

Biting her lip, Annie looked at him with sad eyes, "Both, even tho, I hope _we_ don't stay here forever."

She saw Auggie smile with releif, "Just checking."

Ten minutes later he walked over to the table he insisted she sit at while he picked up their lunches. Tray of food in one hand, cane in the other he approached their table. Annie sat back and smiled to herself as she watched him walk near.

"Okay, one green goddess salad with no peanuts for you, and there should be a cheeseburger on there for me." He took his seat and Annie laid the food on the table. "Said cheeseburger at your six o'clock, fries at your ten o'clock, drink at noon."

He grinned coyly, "Where's your hand?"

Annie looked at him with a confused smile, "My hand? Uh…I..." She looked down and realized what he meant, she placed her hand on the table and spoke with a smile in her voice, "….your three o'clock."

Covering her hand with his he let a satisfied grin take over his face. Annie had missed that smile. The silent moment between them didn't last long as his fingers felt the cuts on her hand. His lips pointed down in a frown as he explored them, "When did you do this?"

Annie pulled her hand away and dropped it in her lap, "A couple days ago."

"How?"

Annie took a bit of her salad to stall, "I punched Joan and Arthurs guest bathroom mirror."

"Why?"

Dropping her fork into the plastic bowl she used a napkin to wipe her hands, "See, now you sound like my shrink."

"Sorry." His voice was laced with concern and worry, "But everything is okay right?"

Annie shrugged and sipped on her water, "Yeah. I fixed the mirror, my hand is healing…."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. Therapy was a little draining today and I'm just not sure I want to go there right now. Not here." The volume in the room already had her half yelling to be heard.

He nodded and took a bite of his sandwich.

"So, what has you and the entire department all frazzled today?"

Auggie spoke with his mouth half full trying to hide his grin as he did knowing it drove Annie crazy, "You know I can't tell you that."

"Couldn't hurt to ask."

Auggie took a sip of his drink and pointed it at her before putting it down as he spoke, "If you wanna talk shop, we can talk about how you passed your physical, and your polygraphs are done being analyzed."

Annie swallowed, "So, does the CIA think I'm a terrorist?"

He laughed, "No, you passed with flying colors. Now the fun part of figuring out how to re-structure your NOC and find a department to put you in begins." Finishing his statement he stuffed a handful of fries into his mouth.

"And Dr. Peterson still has to clear me."

"That too. Punching mirrors isn't gonna help your case any there."

Annie rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair crossing her arms, "I know."

Seeing Joan standing in the distance surveying the room Annie sat up straight. Auggie heard her change her position, "What is it?"

"Joan."

The blonde woman met Annies eyes and walked over to them, "Annie, Auggie."

"Ready to go?"

Joan shook her head, "No, my polygraph is done but the DCS wants to see me.

"I can wait around for you…."

Cutting her off Joan curtly replied, "No, I'm not sure when I will be home. Can you get a ride back?"

Annie nodded, "Yeah, I will finish up and head that way."

She gave Annie and Auggie a mischievous smile, "No rush, there are enough bottles to get Arthur and McKenzie through the day and the man has two hands again..." She winked at Annie, "...he can handle it."

Annie laughed imagining the mess she would probably return home too, "Okay."

Auggie, feeling left out, interjected into the conversation, "How is baby Z?"

Joan put a hand on Auggies shoulder, "He is fine."

Auggie patted her hand and looked up toward her voice, "And how are you doing?"

Pulling her hand away she shrugged, "After today, I expect to be exhausted, but I am doing well. I have to go, but you two enjoy yourselves. And Annie, when you get home, nap. Please?" Again, not a request, an order, one she was sure would be passed on to Arthur. Annie rolled her eyes and returned to her meal.

* * *

It was after eight o'clock when Joan finally re-entered her front door. She hung her coat and purse and stumbled into the kitchen to find Annie cleaning up the last of the dishes.

Realizing she was no longer alone in the kitchen, Annie looked up and smiled, "Joan, there are leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry."

Rubbing the skin under her eyes she shook her head, "I already ate, but thanks for cleaning up."

"Joan, are you okay?"

She snapped her head up and blinked rapidly, "Yeah, I'm fine. It was just a long day. Wheres Arthur and McKenzie?" She asked with a deep sigh.

"In your bedroom. I'm going to finish up down where and head to bed. Is there anything you need Joan?" Concern took over Annies tone of voice as she saw evidence of exhaustion in Joans posture and face.

"No. Goodnight Annie."

Entering the bedroom she saw her husband laying on his side and her son happily babbling and flailing his arms and legs as he laid on the bed beside his father. She leaned against the doorpost and smiled, "Well you two are a sight for sore eyes."

Recognizing his moms voice, McKenzie reached toward the sound and made sucking noises with his lips. Arthur smiled at his sons reaction and his wifes greeting, "Hey. How was your day?" Joan pushed herself off the doorframe and shut the door behind her, "Long. Does he need to eat?"

Arthur nodded and stood, "I figured you would want to feed him once you got home."

Joan climbed onto the bed went through the motions of getting him happily latched on and feeding. Arthur walked around the bed and leaned in to softly kiss his wife, "I'm going to shower and change. He, uh….got me earlier."

Joan raised her eyebrow and chuckled, "Oh, he did?"

An embarrassed Arthur shrugged and exited the room.

Looking down at her son she smiled, "Got daddy did you?" She ran a thumb over his soft head and sighed, "Mommy missed you, McKenzie." Relaxing her neck, she let her head fall back against the pillow. Her free hand rubbing her sons tiny feet. When she pulled him away to change sides she noticed there was no longer a lump under his onesie where the umbilical cord stump had been. Un-snapping his outfit she felt a lump in her throat rise to the surface. It had fallen off during the day. She shook her head as he protested the delay in feeding and brought his tiny mouth back to her chest, her free hand running over the place the stump had been when she left that morning. Hearing the shower turn off she quickly snapped his onesie back up and wiped the tears from her face.

Arthur emerged in plaid pajama pants just as McKenzie finished nursing. He grabbed a burp-cloth off the edge of the bed and reached to pick up his son, "I'll pat him down so you can change."

Watching her husband walk around the room bouncing her son she felt a stabbing pain in her stomach. Realization came over her. Working for the CIA, as a mother, she was going to miss these milestones. Walking into the closet to change she pondered if she could bear missing her sons life. This was going to be a harder decision than she thought.

A few minutes later she re-entered the bedroom in a silk nightdress. Arthur was on his good side teasing McKenzie with a plush airplane. Joan climbed into the bed behind him let one arm hang over his side, her chin resting on his shoulder after she planted a kiss on the scar on his bicep. Reaching a hand across her son she felt his tiny belly.

Suddenly it donned on Arthur what had her so melancholy. Putting down the toy plane he took her hand in his. Joan sighed as she felt those warm tears grace her cheeks again.

He turned so he could see Joans face. Seeing the silent tears flowing his heart broke with compassion. He used his free hand to wipe her face before she laid her head on his chest and whispered, "I missed it?"

Arthur ran a hand through her hair, "It fell off while he was napping today. This may be a little strange, it was to me, but Annie suggested I put it in a baggie and leave it in the nursery for you to see."

Joan chuckled, "A little strange, but comforting." Propping herself up on her stomach, she folded her hands on his chest and rested her chin on them so she could look him in the eye, "How much am I going to miss?"

"Oh Joan…" His eyes full of sympathy and understanding. At a loss for words he started soothingly rubbing her back as she laid her head back down on his chest and went back to gazing at her baby boy. "….you can stay home."

She nodded watching McKenzie happily waving his tiny arms and cooing as if he was a part of the conversation, "I know." Joan let out a deep heavy sigh, "I just don't know how to decide, how to balance all of this. I was gone for half a day and I missed a milestone."

"You know my opinion, but you also need to know, I will support you whatever you decide." Joan turned her head to face him again. "Working for the CIA won't make you a bad mother, staying home won't make you a bad person." He brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her face, "You can do whatever you set your mind to. I believe you can do this, if it is what you want."

Joan flashed a dimpled grin and scooted up so her lips were millimeters away from his, "I love you Arthur Campbell."

Lifting his head slightly he closed the gap and captured her lips, "I love you too Mrs. Campbell."

They smiled silently at each other until a sudden movement drew both of their eyes to the baby boy beside them who had flipped himself over onto his stomach.

Joan sat up abruptly, "He just rolled over…." She looked at her husband with wide eyes.

Arthur chuckled and sat up beside her, "Our son is going to be an acrobat."

Rolling her eyes she couldn't' suppress the chuckle.

Arthur leaned over and kissed her cheek and whispered into her hair, "See, you won't miss everything."

McKenzie, un-happy with finding himself stuck on his belly began to whimper. Joan leaned forward and turned him over, "Aawww baby boy, got yourself stuck there." She picked him up and held him so his belly was in front of her face. Blowing a raspberry on his tiny tummy he babbled happily and reached to grab his mothers blonde hair.

Prying her hair free Joan cradled him and spoke softly, "I love you so much my sweet little man."

Arthur wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gazed down at their son, "See, we can do this."

Joan leaned to one side and looked him in the eye, a smile forming creases on her face, "We sure can." Arthur leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers as the baby in his wifes arms began to still and drift into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**_One Week Later…_**

Annie stumbled down the stairs toward the kitchen. Eyes heavy, not yet fully awake or alert, she mindlessly measured the coffee grounds and started the coffee maker. A yawn escaped her mouth as she leaned against the counter and waited for her cup of energy to finish brewing. Giving her eyes one last rub she mused at how much had changed over the past three weeks. Three weeks ago today she was on a boat out of Hong Kong. Two weeks ago she was attending Teos star ceremony and last week she was sitting at lunch with Auggie after what was probably the most draining therapy session of her life. Pouring her coffee she went farther back, a year ago today she was still working for Lena. Compared to the past four months, that whole experience seemed like a walk in the park. Back then she had no thoughts of Henry or Helen or going off the grid. She felt she had been living in this reality for years, not months. Her eyebrows arched as she thought about how fast things change.

Moving into the living room Annie found Joan curled up against the side of the couch, elbow on the arm-rest, head propped up on her hand. Her eyes were closed and she still had a burp rag hanging over her shoulder. McKenzie was in the bouncer in front of where his mother had fallen asleep. He was completely amused by trying to hit the elephant, lion, and giraffe hanging over his head. Bending over, Annie lightly ran her hand over his head, which had begun to sprout soft, blonde hair. The baby boy happily hummed at the attention.

Hearing her son make the soft sound, Joan inhaled sharply and woke herself up. Immediately, her two tired blue eyes flew down to check on her son. Rubbing her eyes, she straightened herself on the couch and addressed the girl standing in front of her, "How long have I been asleep?"

Annie walked around the coffee table and sat beside Joan, "It's almost eight o'clock, what time did you come down?"

Smelling the dirty burp rag on her shoulder, Joan's face twisted before she removed the source of the un-pleasant smell, "Around seven." Brushing her hair out of her face, Joan looked Annie in the eye, "How did you sleep?"

Annie had accepted the fact that this particular question would be a part of their morning conversation as long as she stayed there. But she still couldn't control the involuntary eye-roll and subsequent glare that followed the daily inquiry, "Better. I actually slept all night." Annie looked down at her cup, "Instead of five nightmares, it was just one long one…." She chuckled unenthusiastically and looked back up at Joan, "…restless as it may have been, it was better than waking up every two hours like somebody else I know." Annie pointed that last statement at the baby in the bouncer who was clueless as to what was going on in front of him.

Joan glanced down at her son before grinning and watching the young blonde beside her take a sip from her mug, "Is there coffee left in the pot?"

"Yes, but why don't you go back upstairs and sleep? I will watch McKenzie."

"No, I just need something to wake me up…."

Annie shook her head and spoke in the sternest voice she dared use with Joan Campbell, "No, you need to sleep. He just ate, I'm assuming?" She let half of her mouth rise in a self-satisfied grin as Joan nodded, "So, he will be fine for another hour or two at least."

Letting her exhaustion win, Joan agreed and headed up to bed.

Not a moment after his mother disappeared up the stairs, McKenzie lost interest in the animals above his head and began to whine. Annie set her half-empty mug on the coffee table and reached down to un-buckle the child and cradle him in her arms, but the change in position still didn't calm him.

Annie stood and started pacing around the downstairs, "Shh-shh-shh, hey, hey, McKenzie you need to be quiet so your parents can sleep." She continued in high-pitched motherese trying to soothe the child, "If they hear you crying they will jump right out of bed and come down here, and trust me, they need to sleep." His whimpers continued to grow in volume and quantity. Remembering how Danielle used to soothe her baby girls by clicking her tongue, Annie experimented with making the clicking sounds while watching the baby in her arms. A smile played on her lips as the noise successfully calmed him. Wide-eyed and gurgling happily McKenzie just stared up at Annie. Smiling at the child she spoke in a high pitched voice, "I'm gonna have to thank Danielle for that, huh little man?"

Hearing her cell phone ring upstairs, Annie quickly grabbed a plush multi-colored elephant and McKenzies pacifier before bolting up the stairs as fast as she dared whilst holding the baby. Luckily, he seemed to enjoy the fast motion and momentary chaos.

Annie dropped the toy and pacifier onto her made-up bed and answered the ringing cell phone that was on her night-stand.

"Hello?" She said as she sandwiched the device between her shoulder and ear and laid the baby boy on the bed on his belly with the elephant toy in reach. The night before he had started picking his head up while he was on his stomach to briefly look around the room. It made Annie nearly laugh out loud as his parents acted like he had just saved the world and treated the milestone like the biggest win in agency history.

_"Morning Walker…"_ Calders deep scratchy voice boomed over the phone line. Annie sat on the side of the bed and held the phone in her right hand while her left hand encouraged McKenzie to open his mouth and take his pacifier.

"Calder…I'm assuming you didn't call just to give me a friendly good morning?"

_He gruffly chuckled "No, I sure did not. We finished vetting your new NOC yesterday and the DCI gave the green light for you to be re-instated."_

Annie swallowed hard as her eyes jumped from McKenzie, to the floor, to the ceiling and with a sigh back to McKenzie again, "I still haven't been cleared by Dr. Peterson."

_"I know, I said you were re-instated, not cleared for field work. You can come back on a provisionary basis with a lower clearance starting next week."_

"And do what? Translate emails and chatter all day?"

_"Actually no, I mean, you can but we need to arrange for you to do some serious cover maintenance."_

Annie stood and started pacing the room, keeping the baby in her field of view, "Meaning what exactly?" She asked in an un-impressed tone.

_Calder sighed,_ _"How about you come in today and we can talk about it?"_

Annie ran a hand through her bed-head, "Uh, sure…when do you want me to come in?"

_"Actually I am pretty slammed…."_ She heard him bang the keys on his keyboard to check his calendar _"…I have back to back meetings all morning, lunch on the hill and a department head briefing at two, so lets say four?"_

"Sure, I will be there."

_"Fantastic. See ya then Walker."_

The phone clicked off and Annie closed it in her hand before crossing an arm over her waist and bringing the fist holding the phone to her chin. As she gazed at McKenzie playing she wondered if she was ready for this. As much as she wanted things to return to the way they were she was afraid if she went back to the CIA but not back to the old Annie there would be a constant shadow over her life.

The shadow of Jessica Matthews.

* * *

Arthur awoke to his wife sound asleep beside him. Looking at his phone he realized it was already after nine. He and Joan never used to be able to sleep-in past six. But, three weeks into being a parent again, waking in the middle of the night to change diapers, or to help Joan feed him, Arthur was beginning to feel his age. He slowly rolled out of bed. Sitting up on the edge he rubbed his side. He could feel the damaged skin under his cotton tee. Physical Therapy always left him sore in the morning. With a slight grunt he stood and walked over to the basinet. Realizing it was empty, mild panic shot through his system. Just as he was turning to bolt out of the bedroom to look for his son, his wifes groggy voice stopped him.

"Annie has him."

Arthur turned to see his wifes eyes slowly opening as she worked to bring herself to alertness. He let out a sigh of relief and walked back over to the bed. Joan turned over to face him, "I fell asleep after I fed him this morning. Annie insisted I sleep and let her watch him." The last few words came out with a yawn.

Reaching across the bed, he stroked her cheek, "Good. You needed sleep."

"Apparently, I did." She said grinning as Arthur slid back under the covers. Joan moved to relax her head on his chest and lay her arm across his waist before letting out a sigh of contentment and closing her eyes again.

Un-tangling her hair with his fingers, Arthur whispered, "Honestly I don't know how we would have gotten through these first weeks without her." He felt Joan nod against him.

"I know." Joan picked up his hand lying by his side and held it in hers, "What are we going to do when she moves out?"

"We will figure it out. You think she will be moving out soon?"

Joan ran her thumb over her husbands hand, "They're putting her in her NOC next week so she will have too. A National Archives Analyst living with two ex-directors of clandestine services would be hard to explain otherwise."

"When are they reading her in?"

Joan shrugged, "Soon. Calder called and read me in last night."

Arthur nodded, "Hmm."

"What do you have planned today?"

"Lunch on the hill, then home with you."

Joan reached across him to where his phone rested on the nightstand and checked the time, "Well, you need to shower and get ready unless D.C. traffic magically disappears and your lunch is a late one."

* * *

Arthur in the shower Joan walked down the hall to find Annie lying stomach down on the nursery floor across from her son who was holding his head up to look at and reach for the long blonde hair hanging in front of him. "Hey you two."

Annie worked her hair free and McKenzie began crying to request his mothers attention. "Joan, you're up."

Joan chuckled and walked over to pick up her son. Kissing him on the nose she smiled and spoke in her mom voice, "I'm guessing you are a hungry baby boy, huh?" He babbled happily in response and Joan held him against her shoulder before addressing the young blonde standing behind her, "Thank you for letting me sleep a bit."

"No problem."

Walking to sit in the rocking chair across the room, Joan expected Annie to go get ready for the day but when she turned to sit, she realized the girl was hovering awkwardly with a conflicted look on her face. "Something we need to talk about Annie?"

"My NOC is ready."

Joan nodded, "I know."

Giving her former boss a narrow eyed glare, Annie took a deep breath, "Calder wants to read me in this afternoon."

Pausing in her task of draping the nursing blanket over her shoulder Joan let a half-shocked expression take over her face. "That is quick. I expected him to wait and read you in next week."

Annie silently nodded and looked at the floor.

Using the time it took to get McKenzie situated, Joan observed Annie and tried to determine what was bothering her as she continued to hover.

"Do you think you're ready?"

Annies eyes shot up, "Yeah. I….I'm just surprised its happening before Dr. Peterson cleared me and…"

"And what?" Joan raised an eyebrow.

"And, I know its been almost a month but I, I guess I'm not sure I'm ready."

"Not ready for what, the work or the adjustment?"

Annie narrowed her eyes in confusion and crossed her arms, "Adjustment?"

"Mhmm. You've accepted things won't be the same, so re-entering will require an adjustment period where you figure things out again and knowing you, I'm guessing the un-certainty of how things will play out is what is bothering you."

Annie just shrugged and shifted from one foot to the other.

"Annie part of why this is so hard is because, in spite of the way you push against them, you like rules and boundaries. It is something I like about you as an operative. You have a good gauge for what boundaries are keeping you safe and what boundaries are keeping you from accomplishing the mission." Annie turned her head to one side and gave Joan a sideways glare. "Protocol is important to you, but there is no protocol for what you are going through and I think that is what bothers you the most."

Annie chuckled, "Step-by-step instructions would be nice." Joan smiled and nodded in agreement before asking, "Annie, why are you coming back?"

Annie shook her head, "I'm still not sure how to answer that question."

"Well, you need to know the answer if you are going to do this job and not be consumed by it. Why did you join in the first place? Remembering that might help you understand why you want to return."

Rubbing her arm in contemplative silence for a moment, Annie let her memories wander to Sri Lanka. "Originally I chose this life to get away from my past." She looked Joan in the eye, "This time, I…I think I'm choosing it for the same reason. That and I can't let Henry win."

"So look forward, you can't escape your past, but you can walk away from it. One day at a time, one step at a time."

* * *

Calder looked up from the file he was flipping through as Annie entered the room. "Annie Walker." Closing the file he tucked it under his arm as he stood and walked toward the opposite end of the room. "Come take a seat." He motioned to the chair at the head of the conference table. Sinking into the black chair, Annie reached to open the file Calder slid across the table at her.

"Your new NOC."

Glancing up at him he nodded in approval before she flipped the cover page over and started reading.

"My new NOC is a search and retrieval analyst for the National Archives?" She read aloud with a hesitant voice what her mind was questioning as she read down the page.

Calder took the seat on her right, "Yes. You were fired from the Smithsonian, took up the import export life, but after your experience in Copenhagen..." Annie looked up with narrow eyes to see which experience he was actually referring too, the one narrow eye and raised eyebrow told her it was the story they had made up to read Danielle in, "...you decided to come back to the legitimate side of the business."

Annie scoffed and looked up at him as she turned the page, "Symbolic don't you think?"

Calder sat back in his chair, propping his right arm onto the table, "How so?"

Shrugging, Annie paused to read the job description before working up the words to explain, "Well I worked for the CIA, went to the dark side, and now am coming back, in a legitimate capacity...?"

Calder gave her a satisfied grin, "Well I suppose it is."

Shutting the file, Annie crossed her arms and sat back in the chair, "So, why am I coming back in before I am technically cleared for fieldwork?"

"Like I said on the phone, you won't be doing any field work for quite some time. You need to spend the next month probably doing some serious cover maintenance. You've blown through two covers in one year. That will take some time to repair. Dr. Peterson has informed me he thinks he will feel comfortable clearing you in four weeks..." Annie couldn't keep the surprised look off of her face when she heard that. Smirking, Calder went on, "... then we can talk about what department we will place you in permanently."

"You don't want me working for you forever? I'm shocked." She said in a sarcastically offended tone.

"Transferring you to work under the office of the DCS was a temporary solution then, so I am treating it as such now. Me being in this office was also a last minute temporary solution. Once your cover is a little less threadbare we can talk about leaving you under this office, sending you back to the DPD under Auggie, or a plethora of other options."

Annie flipped her hair, "This office, the office of the DCS," Annie quoted him and inquired, "You aren't taking ownership of your position."

Calder crossed his legs and arms simultaneously as he took a deep breath, "There you are acting like a linguist choosing words again. Your language skills are part of why we were able to put you in this NOC. You can be the employee who has an office but is rarely in it, stay home and analyze foreign documents and submit your findings."

His response evaded her question and knowing he was technically her boss, Annie abandoned her confrontation and moved on. "Okay, and I am assuming the retrieval bit is how you will explain my travel schedule."

Calder nodded, "Yes it is."

"Great, when do I start?"

"Next week. We're putting you in a one-bedroom apartment on M street. You can move in Monday, then Thursday we will put you in the new NOC."

Annie nodded and picked the file back up to re-scan over a few pages, "Joan mentioned I would be moving out."

"Well, explaining why someone who just got out of witness protection is living with two CIA legends would be difficult. In fact, if anyone asks, Arthur knew your dad back in their military days."

Laughing through her nose, Annie spoke under her breath, "Because people will believe that."

"Also, your old assets were assigned new handlers after your death. We didn't tell them you died just that you had transferred departments and some other bureaucratic bullshit. The Yemenese aid you turned last year, Sayid Al-Muqri, didn't take the transition so well. He will be in town tomorrow for an oil and energy summit at the Virginia Conference Center. If you happen to run into him, give him this." Calder handed her a white business card with a phone number on it.

"What is this?"

Calder sat back, "Your new asset line. If you run into each other, see if you can calm him down and get him back on board. There is a chance he will become essential to a few developing plans."

"If I run into him? As in this is not on book? As in I shouldn't really be read in on this because I'm not cleared for fieldwork?"

Calder stood and gave her a sly grin, "As in...I never asked you to do anything, I just gave you a business card."

Annie chuckled and pocketed the card before picking up the file, "I'm assuming we're done?"

"For today. Oh, you need to go down to the DPD and get your new cell phone. Auggie will be around if you need any help finding our friend tomorrow as well."

Shooting him a grin, Annie headed for the door.

"Enjoy your evening Walker."

"You too." She said closing the door behind her.

* * *

Auggie heard Annie before she saw him as they met in the hall just outside the DPD.

"Annie Walker."

She looked up. His voice and presence sending a warm smile across her face. "Auggie." taking his arm the two walked to Auggies office. "Calder told me you have a gift for me...?"

Auggie grinned and ran his hand across his desk until he found the device. Holding it out in front of him he spoke in a sarcastic tone, "Try not loose or to let any Israelis or Colombians destroy this one. Please." The mention and subsequent memories of Teo created a bittersweet atmosphere in the room.

"I promise to keep it safe." She turned her head and looked around the empty department, "Did you go off on an angry rage and fire everyone today or do you have your entire division out in the field?"

"It's Friday, and this is the CIA."

Smacking her lips, Annie nodded in realization, "Right, Allens is probably hopping with spooks."

"But I'm glad you told me, I was wondering why I hadn't seen anyone all day." He let a grin cross his lips as he made the joke.

Annie rolled her eyes but laughed, "Need a ride home, or maybe to a stand-up comedy gig?"

Flashing her his signature toothy childish grin "Actually, a ride home would be nice. No offense to the CIA shuttle, but I prefer riding with a stunning young blonde who works for the National Archives than a bunch of stressed CIA operatives and a mean, bitter old bus driver." Annie grinned at him. "Speaking of your new NOC, what do you think about it?" He asked as he gathered his things and moved towards the door.

His hand on her elbow, Annie and Auggie began the walk out of the building, "Honestly, the language nerd in me is borderline excited. You know I was offered a grant to study foreign texts in college?"

"I did and it's where I came up with the idea."

Joining the other operatives on the elevator, Annie leaned over and whispered in his ear, "It was a good one."

* * *

Auggie sat in the passenger seat of the Campbells black BMW trying to find a radio station he didn't hate as Annie drove across town.

"Ready for tomorrow?"

"What's tomorrow?" Annie asked shooting him that cheeky grin he could hear but not see.

"Your first official, un-official mission with yours truly."

Annie laughed, "Ready as I can be I guess. You remember what I had to go through to turn him in the first place."

Auggie crossed his arms, "Yeah, if I remember correctly, you were the one that got caught by state and had mom and dad Campbell all pissed off. I was just glad to not be in the middle of their argument for once."

"Well, at least this time I'm not trying to both turn him and hide from state."

"True, its pretty straightforward and simple, but you have a knack for taking these types of missions and making them a complicated mess."

Annie slapped him playfully, "I do not."

"Hey, on your first day, you forced us to come up with a plan B after our original plan, which, I said it then and I will say it now, was simple..." He said the last word with a raised tone, "...or do you not remember."

Nostalgia washed over Annie, "Of course I remember. I remember thinking the job was going to be too complicated." She snickered, "If I only knew then what I know now...everything was so un-complicated back then." Her stomach twisted as four words crept up her vocal chords, "We were happy then."

Auggie sighed, unable to find the right words. They rode the last few miles in silence. Annie pulled into the visitors parking outside Auggies apartment. "Well, we're here."

Auggie nodded and opened the door sitting with one leg outside debating what to say next, "How about dinner?"

"Now?"

"Yeah, now. We can go to our Thai place."

Looking out the window, Annies eyes traveled down the sidewalk to where their restaurant was. The one they ate at every other day while they lived together.

"Okay."

Letting out a relieved sigh, Auggie stepped out of the car.

* * *

Settled into their table by the window with their usual dishes, Auggie listened to Annie eating as she looked out the window. He was happy she still loved to sit and people-watch. It is why she insisted they always sit at that table even tho it was the coldest spot in the building in this D.C. winter.

"What are you thinking?"

He heard the blonde air woosh as Annie flipped her hair and turned her face towards him, "I'm not, just watching..."

"Liar. I can hear you thinking."

"I was remembering the last time we were here. Feels like it was yesterday, but years ago at the same time. We had no idea what was about to happen...'Treat every meal like it's your last' right?" Annie looked down at her plate and pushed the food around with her fork as she remembered Eyals advice the first day they worked together.

"I suppose so. Things do change fast in life, faster for people like us."

Annie cleared her throat, "True. So, what time are we going in tomorrow?"

Swallowing quickly Auggie licked his lips then replied, "They have a lunch break at noon, but, we had a surveillance team on him today and he takes smoke breaks on the roof every two hours or so. Figure you can hide out up there and offer him a cigarette."

"Great, but you still haven't told me what time you want me to go sit on the roof."

Auggie chuckled at himself, "Sorry, first session is at 9. We should meet out front around ten. That will give you time to get upstairs and him time to enter the building and not see you until you're ready for him too."

"Chatting over smokes on a roof. Talk about a deja vu."

"Worked once before, I am confident you can make it work again. I will be on a bench just outside the entrance watching, or listening, to the surveillance cameras in case his plans change and he leaves before you catch up to him. I will send you his file electronically so you have some reading to entertain yourself with while you sit up there and wait."

"Sitting on a D.C. rooftop in mid-December, maybe you should send me a heater and a travel mug with warm coffee in it instead of an electronic file." She commented while pulling her new phone out of her pocket and dialing a number.

"Are you calling someone?"

"Texting."

She saw a "who" start to form on his lips but elaborated before he had a chance to vocalize the question, "I just realized I'm gonna get home later than Arthur expects, I don't have my old phone anymore. I'm telling them I'm at dinner with you so I don't get home to him waiting at the door for me."

"He wouldn't."

"He might" Annie finished the text, "I kinda feel bad for McKenzie, he will have two overprotective parents who have the ability to track him using satellite imaging, read his non-verbals and know if he is lying, and send a whole extraction team if he goes somewhere he shouldn't. His high school years are gonna be a party."

Auggie shrugged, "Yeah, that would kinda be a buzz kill."

The small talk and shop talk continued for another half an hour before the two started the walk back down the sidewalk. They walked in silence, Auggie holding Annies elbow letting her lead him home. Both had things they still wanted to say and both were struggling to find the words to express what they felt. Arriving at the entrance to Auggies apartment building, the two paused and debated what to do next. Auggie came around to stand in front of Annie and pointed his eyes at where he guessed hers were.

"Annie, when you said things used to be simple, did you mean the job, or us?"

"Both I guess." She said in a whisper.

Auggie took a deep breath, "Our jobs will always be complicated, but you and me. We don't have to be."

Annie looked up at him with sad eyes and bit her lip, "Auggie….everything changed and..."

He interrupted her, "Yes, everything changed, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy again. Things are different, things are complicated, but..." he paused and ran his hands up her arms to cup her face in his hands, "...I promise you, one thing hasn't changed and one thing will always be simple and it is this...I love you Anne Catherine Walker. It's a love that hasn't changed since the day I met you and it is the most simple thing in my life."

Tears welled up into Annie's eyes. And as much as she wanted to say them, those three words were stuck in her throat. Her hands came up to grasp Auggies forearms. She saw him smile briefly at her touch before he moved his face down to brush a soft kiss on her lips. That light kiss sent a warm sensation through Annie that she once thought she would never feel again. Auggie leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. Their breaths became synchronized as the stood there in peaceful silence.

Pulling away, he kissed her on the cheek, "Big day tomorrow, you should go get some sleep." His hands still on her face let him know she nodded in agreement.

He reached into his bag to find his cane, un-folding it he paused and pulled Annie into a warm, safe embrace. "I'm always gonna love you Annie." Her arms snaked around his back and reciprocated the embrace before letting go and stepping back, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Auggie stayed just outside the buildings entrance and listened as her footsteps moved away from him. The sound growing fainter with each movement. He heard the car door open and shut. The engine started and that sound too became faint as she drove away. He walked into this apartment building with a smile on his face, his heart light, no regrets plaguing him from words un-said. One day at a time she was returning to him.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Aftermath started three days after the season finale and has kept to a timeline. So, in this AU we haven't had Christmas or New Years and Annie has been home for almost a month. This chapter happens on December 14_****_th_****_. Two days prior, a U.S. drone strike hit a wedding party in Yemen and a week before the Yemini defense ministry compound and a hospital in Yemen were both attacked by Al Qadea. There is increasing political tension between the northern and southern regions in Yemen. Things are un-stable. Just to orient you._**

* * *

By running a finger around the face of his watch, Auggie knew Annie should be arriving in the next minute or so. He was at the park across the street from the conference center leaning against a waist-high wall surrounding the raised flowerbed. Auggie turned his head toward the sound of clicking heels coming directly towards him and stood to his full height, "Morning Walker."

"Auggie." He could hear the smile in her voice.

Taking a quick sniff of the air his brow furrowed, "Did you rob a McDonalds, or are you trying out a new perfume?"

Shooting him a sideways glance she brushed the paper bag she was clutching against the back of his hand, "I picked up McDonalds, I did not steal it."

"Why?"

Annie took a deep breath and chuckled at herself, "For Sayid."

"You know, if you were anyone else I would think you were crazy, but since I already know you are I'm just gonna let you do your thing and wait for you explain it all later over drinks at Allens."

"Mhmm. So, should we do this?"

Auggie nodded and reached into his satchel, "Here is your earpiece..." He opened the box and held it out for her to take before feeling to pick up his own, "...I will be on the bench out front..."

Annie offered him her arm, "Need me to walk you over there?"

Un-folding the cane that he had been holding under his arm he shook his head, "No, and it's probably best if you don't use the front entrance..."

Annie nodded and brought her hand back to her side, "Right."

"There is a service entrance on the east side of the building. Once inside there will be an emergency staircase on your right. At the top there is a door that gives you roof access. It's the same one Sayid used yesterday so he should come right up to you."

"Great, any roadblocks?"

"Your usual conference center security guards, and because its an oil and energy conference our friends at state and the FBI have a few agents on the property but none of em are looking for you..."

"Sounds simple enough."

Hearing her turn to leave Auggie reached back into his bag, "Hang on Annie." She turned to face him, "What is it?"

He pulled a thermos and plastic bag from his satchel, "Hot cocoa and hot hands."

"Hot hands?"

"Like an ice-pack in reverse. When you shake them up they get warm. No tellin how long you'll be up there."

Annie planted a soft kiss on his cheek before taking the items and giving him a sentimental smile, "Thanks Auggie."

"My pleasure. Now, go get Sayid so we can go home and enjoy the weekend." He winked at her and turned to find the crosswalk.

Annie waited to leave and watched him walk away. Finding the edge of the sidewalk he waited for the signal to cross. She watched until he was safely settled onto the bench when his voice came over her earpiece, "Walker, stop staring and get on the roof. We have a job to do."

"Sorry Aug."

"I know, you just can't help but stare at the handsome blind-man crossing the street." He flashed a cocky grin in her general direction.

Annie smiled back even tho he couldn't see her, "Remember the last time you sat out waiting on a bench for me?"

"Yeah, Colombia, right before I got shot." Annies smile turned to a frown as she remembered the panic she felt seeing the blood pour from his shoulder. His sarcastic voice broke her thought process, "Let's try to avoid doing that again."

Pusing the memories out of her mind, Annie nodded, "Good idead" as she started her trek to the roof.

* * *

Over an hour later, Annie was still sitting with her back against a locked storage shed a few feet away from the entrance to the roof sipping the hot cocoa and reading the file of Sayid Al-Muqri on her phone, "Are you sure he hasn't left the session? It's almost time for them to break for lunch...?"

"No, the security cameras at the entrance would've picked him up."

Annie groaned, "Maybe we should just wait for him to leave and follow him to lunch. Approach him there" She said before blowing warm air into her frozen hands.

"Annie, getting him away from the group he's traveling with would be difficult. If they see you with him you could blow his cover."

"I know, I know...wait…Auggie…" Her tone changed to the one that almost always caused Auggie un-do stress and panic…."Walker, whatever you're thinking, no."

"Where is he staying? I can leave him a note in his hotel room and set up a meet for tonight somewhere..."

"You could, or you could stop whining and get your cheeseburger ready."

"What?"

"The cameras just picked him up entering the stairwell."

Annie quickly closed the now empty thermos and stuffed it into her messenger bag style purse before standing and moving to the opposite side of the storage shed where he wouldn't see her as he came out onto the roof. She shivered as she was not shielded from the wind on this side of the wall and thrust her hands into her pockets, her fingers finding warmth thanks to Auggies gift.

The door-knob squeaked as he turned it and pushed the heavy metal door open. Annie could hear his foot-steps crunching on the gravel covered roof as he walked to the side opposite where Annie was. Looking up at the grey, December sky she took a deep breath and stepped out from behind her hiding place, "Not as hard to find a place to smoke around here."

Sayid froze. Left hand in his pocket, he let his right hand holding the cigarette to fall from his mouth to his side, "Annie Walker?"

Annie took a few steps toward him, "Nice to see you again Sayid."

Almost in slow motion he turned to face her. His sad dark eyes looked her up and down before he took another puff of his cigarette, "They say you are no longer my handler."

Annie shrugged, "I've been out of town."

"You promise you would not disappear."

Annie shook her head with a deep sigh and looked at the ground, "I didn't plan on doing so."

Sayid flicked the ashes off the end of his cigarette and walked toward her, stopping when he was little more than an arms length away from her, "And now your mentor sends you back to me because I tell CIA I don't trust my new handler."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she realized his hairline had receded since she last saw him but his dark sideburns and facial hair were still in place, "No, my mentor doesn't know I'm here."

"So why are you here Annie Walker?"

"We have heard some chatter about the planning of upcoming events involving a terrorist cell in your country looking to disrupt your nations oil production and we need you in the game. You are the only person we have in Yemen who can get us the intel we need to stop it."

He gave an unenthusiastic laugh, "I don't see the value in giving you intel anymore. Nothing changes only I have put me and my family in danger. Tell your CIA I am done."

"The value is in working together to bring change..."

He hardened his stance and face and looked at her fiercely as he interrupted her, "Work together? Your country is attacking my people with drones. They say they need information to strike militant groups, but my people are suffering. I cannot be a part in the destruction of my own people."

Annie shook her head, "Your intel didn't play into the decision to make those attacks and the CIA never targets civilians, intentionally."

"Intentional or not it still happens."

"And I am sorry that it does. Sayid, I have seen the process we go through to make a strike and trust me, the decision is never made lightly. You said you wanted to see more collaboration with your country and the West, correct?"

Sayid gave no response just stared into Annies brown eyes, "Sayid, your intel has kept us from having to use drone strikes to take out militants. It gives us other avenues of action to walk down. After the prime ministers death we were able to help prevent political un-rest thanks to what you provided in your dead-drops concerning the candidates who wanted to de-stabilize your government."

Sayid sucked on his cigarette and blew the smoke through his nose and mouth, "You still attack us like we are a hostile people."

Annie sighed and turned her head sideways, "We are not attacking the Yemeni people. The strikes are aimed at Al Qaeda cells, not civilians."

"And yet, the more we align ourselves with you the larger the target on us becomes." Dropping his cigarette on the ground he angrily stomped on it.

"You are only a target because you are a threat. If your nation wasn't taking steps to close the distance between you and the West, there would be no reason for militant groups to attack and there would also be no chance at your country seeing the freedom and autonomy that it has the potential to exist in."

Sayid gave one dramatic nod before turning his face towards the D.C. skyline and moving to stand closer to the edge of the rooftop, "When the game is over the king and the pawn go back in the same box."

Annie furrowed her brow and walked to stand beside him. He turned his head to face her. Seeing her confused facial expression he inhaled and explained, "It is a proverb my mentor hated. He hated the implication that his position of power mattered not."

"What does it mean to you?" She asked quietly and cautiously.

"That everyone dies. Therefor while we are alive we are all equal. Nationality, wealth, is irrelevant and all should have a chance to be great."

"A chance to fulfill our destiny."

Sayid glanced at her before turning to walk behind her and running a hand through his thinning hair. Annie twisted to face him.

Swallowing and planting his hands on his hips Sayid looked from his feet to her eyes, ""What is it you need me to do?" he asked and set his jaw.

Taking a step forward, Annie tried to hide her relief, "Nothing for now. We just needed to know you were still in the game."

"You said you need intel to stop an attack."

Annie nodded, "And we do, but I am not read-in on what yet. We will contact you soon. For now, your protocol remains the same, except…." She fished into her pocket to pull out a the business card from Calder, "…this is my new asset line."

He took it and concentrated on memorizing the number before pulling a lighter from his pocket and setting it ablaze. "You are a very convincing woman, Annie Walker, twice you have made me change my mind." His eyes turned fierce as they met hers, "There will be no third chance."

His slumped shoulders led his body as he turned toward the stairwell entrance.

Annie pulled the paper bag containing the now cold cheeseburger from her purse, "Sayid!" When he turned she tossed it at him. "Sorry it's cold."

Reaching out and catching the bag, he peeked in and chuckled, "I guess I should've come up sooner."

Annie shrugged and spoke in a light tone, "Coming to America and not eating a burger is like going to Japan and not ordering sushi."

Nodding and giving the blonde woman a half-grin he closed the bag and continued on his path towards the exit, "Goodbye Annie Walker."

Once the door closed behind him Annie breathed out a relieved sigh.

"Nice work Walker."

"You gonna read me in on the intel you need from him?"

"You're clearance isn't high enough, hell until Thursday you don't even have a clearance."

Annie decided to use the fire escape ladder that ran down the side of the building instead of following Sayid in the stairwell to make sure nobody got suspicious, "Comments like that make me miss Jessica Matthews."

Auggie shuddered at the name, "I much prefer Annie Walker no offense."

Reaching the end of the latter she jumped down with a humph, "None taken."

Rounding the corner she could see Auggie a few yards away gathering his things to go when an all too familiar voice behind her stopped her in her tracks.

"Annie Walker"

She saw Auggie sit up straight and listen to the audio feed carefully and knew he recognized the voice as well, "Agent Rossabi…." She said as she turned around slowly, "…nice to see you."

He looked like he had seen a ghost. Face pale, mouth wide in shock, "You're dead."

Annie quickly looked around to see who was in ear-shot before stepping closer and speaking under her breath, "Obviously not."

"But…but…you, you faked your death?"

Annie stood with her mouth hanging open unsure how to respond.

His brow was furrowed in confusion, "And...I'm guessing you're the one who killed Wilcox?"

Regret stabbed Annie's lungs causing her to inhale sharply. Auggies voice in her ear brought her back to reality, _"Annie stick to your cover."_

She cleared her throat and threw her blonde hair out of her face, "No, I was in witness protection. I uh, witnessed the helicopter attack in Copenhagen."

Rossabi rolled his eyes and started walking toward Annie motioning for her to walk beside him, "That's your story?"

She nodded and looked straight ahead, "It is."

"So what are you doing here?"

Annie gave him a narrowed eye glare, "Just walking around the city…enjoying my Saturday."

"Right…I saw you coming down the fire escape. What are you up too Walker."

Annie sighed, "You know I can't tell you that."

He opened his mouth to comment when his cell phone rang. He answered it without breaking eye contact, "Rossabi..…Yeah…..I will be right there...Yeah, follow him don't approach yet."

He ended the call and crossed his arms, "Report of a suspicious Yemeni man on the stairwell leading to the roof."

Annies eyes widened as her mind flew into action trying to determine how to handle the situation.

Rossabi's eyes narrowed as he read her facial expression, "CIA asset?"

Annie met his eyes and shrugged.

The FBI agent in front of her let out a frustrated sigh, "I'll let him go. You took down Henry so I owe you one and if I don't it's gonna cause problems for me, right?"

Giving him a pained grin she said yes without words.

He gruffly whispered under his breath and proceeded to walk toward the building entrance, pausing to face her, "And Walker, thank you for dealing with our mutual...enemy. It had to be done and I'm glad someone finally did it."

Annie gulped down her emotions and let a half-grin creep onto her lips, "Wouldn't have happened without your tip."

He gave a genuine smile and nodded, "See ya around Walker."

Once he disappeared into the building, Annie moved to meet up with Auggie who had left the bench and returned to his spot across the street. Removing her earpiece she handed it to him, "Well, that went way to easily."

Auggie chuckled and put the device away, "It's not always supposed to be hard."

Annie bit her lip, "Maybe not."

"How'd it feel to be back in the field?"

Annie laughed lamely, "You can hardly call that being in the field, but, it felt good I guess."

He reached for her arm and nudged her to start leading them to the car, "Hungry?"

Annie flipped her blonde hair as she started walking and smiled at him, "I could eat."

"Good. Lets get lunch, then I'm gonna need you to drop me off at Langley."

'Why?"

Auggie rolled his eyes, "When I called to read Calder in he, uh...read me in and it's gonna be a long weekend."

"Mmmm Saturdays at the office, now that I haven't missed."

"Yes you have."

"I have?"

"Of course, cause it meant you were with me all weekend."

Annie gave his arm a playful slap, "Anything I can come in and help you with?"

He grinned coyly and commented "See, case and point…" before shaking his head and putting on his all business tone, "But no you can't. It's _above your clearance_." Annie spoke in stereo with him as he finished the statement.

* * *

It was five o'clock and sun had started to set when Annie pulled into the Campbells driveway. Using the key they had given her weeks before she let herself in and proceeded to go upstairs to her room.

"Annie, how was your day with Auggie?"

She felt like a teenager trying to sneak back into the house after curfew that just got caught. She hadn't told Joan and Arthur about the mission and wasn't sure she was allowed too. Taking a deep breath she walked back down the two steps she had climbed and entered the living room where Arthur had his son lying on his back on top of his fathers knees.

"Fine."

Arthur set the plush airplane down and cradled his son in his arms, "Im about to go get take-out for dinner. Anything in particular you want?"

Half-way holding her breath, Anne shook her head, "No."

Arthur eyed her suspiciously, "Okay. Can you watch McKenzie? Joan is taking a bath, she should be out soon."

Annie nodded and Arthur's attention went to his son, "You behave son." He said in the strange deep but kind tone he used with his son before kissing his forehead and leaving him in Annies arms.

Upstairs, Annie laid McKenzie on his stomach on the bed with his airplane and rattle before removing her messenger bag and trench coat and bending over to remove her heels and pull on a pair of socks. Her socked feet shuffled into the bathroom and she threw her hair in a ponytail before going to sit on the bed beside the infant who had grown tired of being on his belly and was whimpering to let Annie know.

Carefully picking him up, Annie turned him over and laid him on his back and began teasing him with the airplane. Seeing movement in the doorway she looked up to see Joan in lounge clothes with her wet hair in a bun on top of her head, "Arthur go to get dinner?"

Annie nodded and turned her attention back to the baby boy who was waving his arms and cooing happily at the attention he was getting. She hoped Joan would just go on her way but the blonde woman came to sit on the edge of Annies bed. She reached a hand to caress her sons head before addressing her blonde operative.

"You and Auggie enjoy your day?" Her tone was sarcastic and her eyes pointed narrowly at Annie.

"Yeah."

"What did you two do?"

Annie tilted her head to the side nonchalantly "Ya know, we just, walked around the city, talked, grabbed lunch. Something came up so I dropped him off at Langley."

Joan nodded and looked down as her son pulled her finger that was now in his grasp to his tiny mouth, "How did you handle being in the field again?" Her eyes slowly crept up to examine Annies reaction to her question.

Annie sucked on her cheek and inhaled, "Sorry Joan I didn't think Calder read you in."

With a chuckle Joan shook her head, "He didn't." Annie looked at Joan with a questioning gaze. With a sly grin Joan explained, "You acted strange this morning when Arthur asked you what your plans were for the day…"

Annies eyes widened as she hadn't realized Joan had heard them talking. It was true she felt herself become awkward when he asked and she wasn't sure what to tell him. In spite of the fact he was no longer her boss he was still an intimidating person and lying to him made her feel un-fomfortable.

"I didn't realize…"

"...that I heard you?" Joan gave Annie the I-know-everything glare and went on, "I called Calder and asked what was going on. He read me in."

Annie nodded and relaxed slightly, "Does Arthur know?"

"No, so how did it go?"

"Sayid agreed to remain an asset. Do you know what they need him to gather intel for?"

Joan tilted her chin up, "No, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

Annie scoffed, "Course not."

"So, he is on board, no hiccups?"

Annie tilted her head to the side and gave a pained grin, "Well, I ran into Agent Rossabi."

Joans eyebrow flew up, "You did?"

"Yes but once he got over the fact I was alive he was fine."

With an understanding nod Joan opened her mouth to speak, "Henry did a number on him. He blamed Henry for your death from the start."

"He thanked me for…." Her voice and eyes trailed down to the carpet.

"For what Annie?"

She shifted uncomfortably and let out a slow breath, "For killing Henry." Forcing her eyes to meet Joans she gave a forced smile.

"I know that it is still hard for you hear this, but, you did the right thing."

Annie nodded, "I know, its just, I feel like you shouldn't thank me for killing someone."

"It wasn't the fact you killed him that made Rossabi thank you, it was the fact Henry was no longer a threat because of your actions."

Letting silence take over the room Annie gave a slight nod and turned her attention to McKenzie who was happily sucking his mothers finger.

"How was working with Auggie again?"

Looking up Annie couldn't hold back a girlish grin and chuckle that formed in the back of her throat after seeing Joans sly smile, "It was fine."

"Good." Her grinning eyes moved from Annie to her son who she picked up and cradled against her chest, "Now, I am going to go feed this growing man. Come get me when Arthur gets back with dinner?"

"Will do." She responded as her phone started ringing. Standing she pulled it out of her pocket.

_Danielle Brooks_


	15. Chapter 15

_Incoming Call:_

_Danielle Brooks_

"Hey Danielle"

"Aunt Annie, it's Chloe not mommy." The high-pitched voice of a little girl on the other end of the phone caused a surprised look to come over Annie's face.

After stuttering for a moment, Annie finally formed understandable words, "Hey Chloe. Where is your mom?"

Danielle's voice joined Chloe's on the phone. "I'm here Annie. You're on speaker with me, Chloe and…"

"And me!" A second high pitch voice joined the others and Annie let out a chuckle as she interrupted her mother.

"Hi Katia. How are my two favorite nieces."

Chloe and her pre-teen self answered in a condescending tone, "Aunt Annie, we are your only nieces."

"But you're still my favorite."

"Aunt Annie?" Katias voice broke through as she requested her aunts attention.

"Yes Katia." There was an un-controllable smile in Annie's voice.

"Now that you don't have to hide from the bad man, can you come see us? Please-please-please-please-please-please!" Chloes voice joined Katia, "Yes, please Aunt Annie!"

"That will be up to your parents but hopefully soon?" She posed the question hoping Danielle would chime in. "Yes soon." Danielles voice sounded hopeful and Annie took in a deep breath in an attempt to control the happy tears climbing up the back of her throat.

Katia again broke the silence with a question only a child would think to ask, "Will you be here for Christmas!" The excitement behind her question made her voice rise and squeak as it reached the top of the audible range of frequencies. Annie glanced at the alarm clock on her night-stand and realized the holiday was less than two weeks away. "I'll have to talk to your mom about that."

Two voices turned away from the phones speaker and, Annie assumed, towards their mother ears, "Please Mommy! Can she come, can she?"

Danielle took a deep breath. Annie could her her turn the speakerphone off and bring the phone to her ear as she told the girls to go play outside while she and Aunt Annie have big-girl talk. Annie grinned as she heard the two girls moan in disagreement.

Once alone Danielle breathed deeply. Annie broke the silence, "Michael let you tell the girls?"

She heard Danielle clear her throat on the other end, "Yeah. He came home a few days ago and…he had changed his mind. It was crazy because just that morning we had been arguing about the situation and….he came home, said he got a phone call and the person explained the situation to him, told him about his own personal experience with keeping secrets and Michael finally caved. It was that man I met when I was in town."

Annies face contorted with shock, "Arthur?"

"Mhmm, he told Michael and I the same thing that the truth is too hard to live with so you keep secrets to protect the people you love and I guess that day it clicked. We told the girls last night."

"What did you tell them?"

Danielle chuckled at herself, "That you couldn't come visit because you were hiding from a bad man but now the bad man is gone so you don't have to hide anymore."

Annies breath caught as she inhaled and sniffled.

"Are, are you crying Annie? Was this not okay?"

"No, no I'm just, surprised but...happily surprised." Her mind was trying to wrap itself around Arthur calling her brother-in-law. The man was never particularly cold but he was Arthur Campbell and Annie was borderline shocked. Shocked he called and shocked it worked.

"Good. And as for Christmas, I don't know if you can or if you want too but…"

"Yes, I would love to spend Christmas with you and the girls."

Annie heard the smile in Danielles voice, "Great. We are doing Christmas morning just us then going to Michaels parents place for dinner-it's a formal thing so you'll need to pack your little black dress but they're very catholic so not your little-little black one. Oh and you can stay in our guest room I just need to know when you're flying in so that I can be there to pick you up and the girls…"

"Danielle, slow down, I will call you soon with my travel plans. I promise."

"Sorry, didn't mean to go all type-A on you."

"It's okay, I'm used to it. I've lived with you basically all my life so…"

Katia began yelling on the other end of the line and Danielle pulled the phone from her ear, "I gotta go Annie. Someone hit someone with something."

Annie laughts heartily, "Okay I will call you soon with my travel plans? Oh and I'm moving Monday into an apartment but you go I will explain it all next time we chat."

"Okay, bye Annie."

Hearing the garage door open Annie headed down to help Arthur with the take-out bags. He was already dumping the bags onto the dining room table when Annie made it to the bottom of the stairs.

Seeing her enter the room he motioned with a nod of his head toward the kitchen, "Mind grabbing plates."

"Sure."

Opening the cabinets and retrieving the plates, she rose her voice and spoke to him while he went through the take-out bags, "I got a call from my sister while you were out."

The plastic bags immediately stopped rustling as Arthur froze. Annie re-entered the dinning room and set the plates down on the opposite end of the table to where he was standing like a deer caught in the headlights. Arthur folded his arms over his chest and looked at her with arched eyebrows and feigned cluelessness.

"You called Michael?" Annie inquired tilting her head to one side.

A breathy chuckle came through this nose as he planted his hands on the back of the chair in front of him, "I did."

Annie smiled across the room, "Thank you for that. You didn't have too…."

Arthur shrugged, "After everything you did for us, for Teo…" a dark sadness crossed his face as his sons name crossed his lips, "…I thought it was worth a try. Michael was just trying to protect his family. He needed to understand that is why you did what you did. To protect your family. He is a reasonable man. Wasn't hard to turn him." His eyebrow lifted with the corner of his mouth. Annie returned the smile before he turned his attention back down to the bags of food, "So, you hungry?"

* * *

Closing the notebook Annie dropped it into the nightstand drawer. Henrys face and voice lingered in her mind as she tried to rehearse the ending to the nightmare she had re-written. Letting her elbows rest on her knees she dropped her head into her hands and took a few deep breaths. A light knock on her bedroom door pulled out of herself. Annie sat up straight. "Come in?"

The door slowly creaked open to reveal Joan still in her robe cradling McKenzie, "I saw your light on when I finished his morning feeding."

Annie glanced at the clock, it was 6:30, "It's fine I was up. Is everything oaky?"

Joan silently stepped further into the bedroom and shrugged one shoulder, "Well, yes and no." She came to sit on the edge of the guest bed, "Today would've been Teo's birthday."

Annie felt warm tears fill her eyes, "Is Arthur…okay?"

Taking a deep breath Joan stared down at her son, "I don't think he realizes I know. And I doubt he was going to tell me." She sniffled and met Annies concerned eyes, "He, uh, he wasn't in bed when McKenzie woke up this time. He sent me a text around 4:30 saying he would be back at noon and not to worry, but I don't think he should be alone today and I'm pretty sure I know where he went."

"You need me to watch McKenzie?"

"Do you mind?"

Annie shook her head and gave Joan a weak smile, "No. Not at all."

"Thank you Annie, I'm gonna go get dressed and head out. If you need anything I will have my phone on me. Arthurs is off, so…." Her voice trailed off and her brow furrowed with worry, sympathy, and concern.

Not sure what to do Annie slowly reached to re-assuringly squeeze Joans arm, "He will be okay and McKenzie and I will be fine. May be my last day with the little guy for awhile."

Joan chuckled and stood, "True." She bent over and kissed her sons forehead and whispered against his face, "Hey sweet baby. You be a good boy. Mommy loves you and she will be back soon." She kissed his nose and handed him over to the blonde operative sitting Indian-style on the bed, "Bottles in the back of the fridge…he will get hungry again in two hours…"

Annie nodded and calmly but firmly interrupted, "I've got this. Go take care of Arthur." Joan disappeared into the hall without saying another word.

"Well Mac, looks like it's just you and me today."

The baby boy in her arms cooed as if he understood and agreed with her statement. Annie let a warm smile play on her lips as she watched his tiny fist grasp her thumb. With her pointer finger she reached and stroked his chubby cheek, "You are getting big McKenzie. I'm gonna need you to slow down."

The baby flailed his arms and legs as if to say no. Annie sighed and walked to the nursery to find his favorite rattle.

* * *

Pulling into the parking lot of the Chesapeake Memorial Garden, Joan saw her husbands car. Parking beside him she took her time turning the car off and gathering her things. Death was something she could never wrap her mind around. Never something she felt comfortable being around. At funerals and star ceremonies over the years she never knew what to say. Arthur always spoke the comforting words while she stood and silently offered support. She swallowed a sob and rallied her emotions. On the two hour long drive there she let herself cry for her grieving husband and lost step-son. Not sure what she would find when she ventured into the graveyard she knew she had to be strong for Arthur. Flipping the mirror down she examined her reflection and did her best to hide the evidence of the tears that had fallen.

Locking the car she turned her phone to vibrate before dropping it into the pocket of her black trench-coat and slowly walking toward the plot where they buried Teo. The sky was grey, the clouds were heavy, and a snow-storm loomed as if the sky itself was grieving for her step-son. Her breath formed small white clouds every time she exhaled. Reaching the top of the hill he came into her field of view. He was standing with his arms crossed and his head down wearing all black. He looked so small, and his shoulders were bent like he carried a great weight. Joan brushed back a strand of blonde hair the wind had blown into her face and proceeded to head down the hill into the valley where he stood.

She took slow, small steps toward him. Her black boots hardly making a sound as she closed the space between them. When she was about 20 yards away she saw her husband turn his head ever so slightly toward where she froze, and she knew he heard her. For a moment she paused and considered waiting there. Seeing him relax she knew he had sensed her presence and instead walked until she stood a few yards away from his side.

Seeing his tear-stained face and nose red from crying and from the cold air her own emotions began to turn in her stomach. He looked up through his haze of grief and stared straight ahead into the forest that surrounded the graveyard. Joan bit her lip and crossed her arms over her chest. The trees stood bare and grey. The world looked empty.

"Come here Joan."

His weak-quiet voice surprised her attention from the forest back to him. She slowly moved until she was a few feet away knowing he needed space. Sensing her movement come to a halt he tore his eyes from the trees.

"No, come here Joan." The tone he used this time was sincere and at a normal volume level. He opened his arms and his dark, bloodshot eyes met his wifes uncertain blue ones. Taking a deep breath she timidly stepped forward and pressed her body into his. Her head resting on his chest. His long arms encircling her. Relief washed over her and she tucked her arms between his chest and hers and relaxed in his embrace. The sound of his steady heartbeat comforted her.

They stood for what seemed like an hour in that position. Their body heat keeping them warm against the December wind that was getting colder as morning was slowly turning to noon.

"I wonder if maybe I should've had him buried in Colombia next to his mother."

The heartsick tone he spoke in made Joans own heart ache, "I think he wanted to be here just as much as he wanted to be there."

Arthur loosened his grip and Joan looked up into his eyes. The tears hadn't stopped coming down. The bags under his eyes were heavier than usual, his forehead was tense. His wind chapped lips were poked out, "You do?"

Giving him a weak smile Joan nodded, "I do."

She turned herself around in his arms to face Teo's epitaph.

Teo Philo Braga

My Hero

My Son

The fight was not in vain.

1980 – 2013

Arthur tightened his grip around her shoulders and Joan covered his hands with hers. They stood in comfortable silence until Joan involuntarily shivered.

Arthur kissed the side of her head, "We should go. It's getting colder."

Joan shook her head and squeezed his hands, "I'm fine. Don't leave until you're ready." His chest rose and fell, "I'm ready. It's a long drive back."

Letting go of her, Arthur offered his arm. Joan leaned heavily against him as they walked in-step back to the cars.

"Annie has McKenzie?"

Joan nodded against his shoulder.

Reaching the parking lot he wrapped her in another tender, warm embrace. "I'm glad you came."

Joan pulled back and cupped his face, "I love you, and I am so sorry." He nodded and she pulled his head down so she could brush a kiss against his chapped lips. "You following me home or am I following you?"

"Lead on my dear."

* * *

Annie was sitting on the floor with McKenzie sprawled out on the blanket when Joan and Arthur walked in the door. Hearing them enter the house she picked up the baby and his blanket and stood. Joan entered the living-room first followed by Arthur. The blonde woman practically flew to the baby boy in Annies arms. Picking him up she assaulted him with kisses.

"He ate about an hour ago."

"Was he fussy?"

"No, he was perfect. We ate, pooped, played, slept, spit up on Annie..." She saw Arthur chuckle and let a smile come across her lips, "..he was perfect."

Joan turned and placed her son in his fathers arm. Holding his son, Annie saw the cloud of tension and grief start to break over Arthur. Joan stepped back to gaze at her men, "Annie, can you help me in the kitchen?" She glanced over her shoulder to see the girls response. Annie nodded and walked past them and into the kitchen to wait on Joan.

Entering the kitchen she saw bags of groceries on the counter and busied herself with putting them away.

As she folded the last empty paper bag she heard the heels of Joans boots click across the tile floor. Annie looked up and was surprised to see the smile Joan wore on her face, "Everything okay?"

Joan nodded and walked over to the sink and started washing her hands, "It is, thank you for watching him." She turned her face away from Annie and looked at the running water, "Tonight is your last night here so I am going to cook for you." After rinsing the last bit of soap off her hands Joan dried them and turned to face her blonde operative, "You have endured living with me and Arthur and a crying newborn, and eating only frozen meals and take-out for a month now."

Annie smiled and shook her head, "It wasn't that bad."

"Regardless. Do you like chicken-pot-pie?"

Annie looked at Joan with a narrow glare, "One of my favorites."

"I know, it's in your file." Joan said lightly as she shot Annie the I-know-everything look and turned on the oven.

Annie rolled her eyes as Joan started shuffling around the kitchen pausing only to order Annie around.

* * *

Two hours later Joan, Arthur and Annie sat at the dining-room table. McKenzie in his swing beside his mother.

Arthur poured white wine into everyone's glasses before sitting and addressing the young blonde on his left, "So, how are you feeling about getting out of the Campbell house?"

Annie took a sip of her wine and paused to choose her words carefully.

Joan saved her from having to answer, "Probably relieved to not have you prying into her personal business." Her sarcastic response earned a snarky glare from her husband and a suppressed laugh from the blonde operative sitting across from her.

"No, I will miss you guys. It will be weird being on my own. I never really was. After Danielle moved out I was in the hospital, in Russia, with Eyal, or living at Auggies so I'm not sure what to expect"

Arthur swallowed, "If you need anything, all you have to do is ask."

Annie smiled graciously, "I know and thank you again for Michael."

Joans head shot up, "Michael?"

Arthur scrunched is face. Annie explained, "He uh, called my brother in law and talked him into letting me talk to my nieces."

"He did?" Joans expression was a mix of anger, pride and shock.

Arthur shrugged and evaded her glare.

Joan rolled her eyes and turned her gaze to Annie, "Arthur will watch McKenzie for me so I can help you get all of your things out of storage tomorrow."

Having learned arguing with Joan about anything was nearly pointless Annie just nodded in compliance.

Arthur smiled widely and addressed the blonde women on either side of him, "I have an announcement to make…"

Joan and Annie exchanged questioning glances before turning to look at Arthur and wait for the announcement.

"The Senate Intelligence committee approved the creation of the position of Associate Director of National Intelligence."

Joans mouth dropped wide, "When did you find this out?"

"On the drive back I turned on my phone and had a voicemail."

"Congratulations Arthur!" Annie spoke in a surprised tone.

Joans eyes narrowed at her husband, "There's something else isn't there?"

Arthur nodded and looked directly at her, "Pending an interview with the committee I have been chosen and approved to take the position."

Joan forced a smile, "That is great news."

Annie noticed the grimace Joan tried to hide with her smile but left it alone and returned her attention to her dinner.


	16. Chapter 16

Sliding the key into the lock of the door labeled 307 Annie un-hinged the locks mechanisms with a flip of her wrist. Pushing the door open she looked into the pre-furnished one bedroom apartment, analyzing what she could see of the floor-plan from the doorway.

Joan was standing behind the young, apprehensive blonde holding a suitcase in her right hand and her own car keys in her left. "Annie?" Joan cautiously addressed the girl ahead of her frozen in her place and waited for a response. Receiving none she went on, "Annie we can't move you into the hallway." A flurry of blonde hair whipped around to reveal two wide brown eyes, "True. Sorry." Annie let out an awkward chuckle and stepped through the small foyer. The cracked white door on her left revealed the bathroom. A glance to the right and she found the small kitchen. Looking ahead she entered the living-dining area with light hardwood flooring. Straight ahead of her was a large window giving her a view of the city. There was a small gas fireplace against the wall to the right of the window. To her immediate right was a small dining set. A tall table with two bar-stools. A glass door in the far left corner of the room opposite to where she stood led to a private patio. Annie reached for the door on her left which swung-open revealing the master bedroom which also had a glass door leading to the patio on the far wall. On the left was a short door-filled hallway leading to the bathroom.

The sound of Joan dropping her keys onto the dining table broke her muse. Turning she met Joans eyes.

Joan cocked her head to one side and gave Annie a half-dimpled grin, "It's a nice place."

Nodding Annie forced a smile and threw her hair to one side, "It is." She sighed, "We should go get the rest of the boxes."

* * *

The Campbells Land-Rover was stuffed to the roof with boxes of things from Annies apartment that had been hidden away in a storage container since Danielle sold the house. After emptying the vehicle once the two blondes sat in the car to drive across town to get the rest of Annies things from the CIA storage facility. They were escorted to the basement where the room containing Annies belongings was. They found Calder waiting for them just outside the door.

Joan gave him a suspicious glare but smiled politely and greeted him lightly, "Calder."

"Joan." He responded with a genuine smile.

Annie stood back in silence and observed the interaction between her boss and former boss.

"I figured you two could use an extra set of hands." He commented in his gruff, cocky tone.

Joan gave Annie a sideways glance featuring her raised brow.

Getting the hint, Annie opened her mouth, "Thanks Calder."

He opened the door to the room and held it for the two blondes to enter. "Least I can do since I am the one who raided your apartment." Joan didn't turn to let Calder see her reaction but Annie could see her roll her eyes out of the corner of her own. Calder went on, "How do you like your new place?"

Annie turned to face him, "The view is incredible. It is a great spot."

Crossing his arms he spoke in a lofty tone, "It is isn't it."

Having used the past moments to survey the contents of the room and come up with a game-plan Joan took a deep breath and turned to face the two other operatives in the room, "Okay if you two are done chit-chatting, we have some work to do." She gave the two startled eyes that turned to face her a cheeky grin and went on giving orders, "Calder the wardrobe boxes are the heaviest, you can get those. Annie this pile over here, contains books and the contents of your desk, you get those." She motioned to the pile to her left before turning to the small pile behind her, "…kitchen supplies and miscellaneous, I've got." She turned back to face Calder and Annie, "Two trips a piece should do it." She nodded and intensified her tone, "Get to it."

About an hour later the last box had cleared security and been loaded into the back of the black Land Rover. Calder slammed the trunk shut and planted his hands on his hips. "You two got it from here?"

Annie nodded, "We do. Thanks for your help Calder."

"Great. Walker, I will see you Thursday." Annie nodded and turned to walk to the front of the car. Pausing when she heard Calder request Joans attention but continuing when she realized the pending conversation was not meant for her ears. Annie slammed the passenger door and attempted to hear what was being said nonetheless. Failing at hearing their low voices, she attempted to see what was going on using the rear-view mirror but the boxes obstructed her view. Looking in both side mirrors all she could see was the back of Calders head. He and Joan had moved so they were out of her line of sight. Annie bit the inside of her lip and sat back impatiently. A few minutes later Calder turned and re-entered Langley and Joan slid into the drivers seat.

Not offering an explanation Joan started the car and began driving towards Annies M-Street apartment. Annie got fidgety as her curiosity grew. Joan noticed.

She glanced over at Annie, "Something on your mind?"

Annie scoffed, "Yeah, what were you and Calder talking about?"

Joan let out a deep sigh, "He read me in on a situation in Nairobi."

"They need information from one of your old assets?"

"No, he wanted my opinion on how they were planning on approaching the issue." Her brow furrowed, "I know we will end up competing for the DCS position but I do not understand why he insists on reading me in on all of this…" She shrugged, "Not that I'm complaining…."

Annie bit her lip and turned to face the road. _"This office…the office of the DCS, you aren't taking ownership of the position…" _Annie replayed their conversation from earlier that week and pondered the possible meanings. Calder was an ambitious man. A man with a career plan. She knew he wanted the position he was in and Joan was right, the way he kept reading her in on everything and copying her to every memo went against his nature. They were trained to work as a team but to also out-perform each other. His actions were making it harder for him to out-perform Joan.

* * *

While Annie un-packed her massive wardrobe and moved her clothes and shoe collection into her walk-in closet, Joan focused on un-packing the kitchen, which, due to Annies small collection of cooking supplies, didn't take long. Finishing she planted her hands on either side of the sink and scanned the apartment. The kitchen had only a half wall on one side making it open to living area. A white couch sat in the middle of the room. There was a coffee table between the couch and the wall containing shelves climbing half-way up and a television set atop of them. Past the shelves was the small fireplace protruding from the wall. A grey arm-chair sat back to the window beside the fireplace. Realizing it was already getting dark outside Joan walked around the counter to check her phone sitting on top of the dining table. 18:18. Opening the text from Arthur she found a photo of her son on his stomach holding up his head and a short message, _What time will you be home?_ Joan smiled and typed a quick reply, _Not sure. Almost done, I'll text you when I leave._ Seeing the boxes of books Joan abandoned her cell phone on the table and moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table and began un-loading the mix of hard-back and paper-back books onto the shelves.

They had worked in comfortable silence throughout the day. Joan, not wanting to push Annie and Annie not sure what to do about her boss going through everything she owned.

After hanging the last blouse, Annie broke down the cardboard boxes and added them to the pile against the wall in the living room before going to sit on the couch behind Joan.

Her former boss didn't pause in her task but spoke in a low tone to the blonde operative behind her, "Found a place to put a safe?"

Annie nodded, "The wall in the bedroom by the patio door backs into the hollow column on the exterior of the building that cuts through the patio. I'll drill in there later and place the safe behind the painting."

Joans mind flashed back to Seths safe, behind the painting over his mantle and the code that opened it. It wasn't his birthday, wasn't the code he filed with the agency, it was the two digit month and two digit day of their first date. As much as Auggie tried to keep her from having too, cleaning up his place gave her time to sort through her anger, disappointment and grief. Gave her time to process the memories in light of his betrayal. Taking a deep breath she pushed the grief into the back of her mind where it belonged and placed the last book on the shelf before standing and moving to sit on the couch beside Annie. "Sounds like as good a spot as any."

Annie nodded and looked down at her hands.

"You're gonna need to get groceries and cooking supplies. Did Calder re-open a bank account for you or do you need some cash."

Meeting her bosses eyes Annie tucked a leg under her and settled into the couch, "No, he had my old accounts re-opened. The cards and information were in the envelope with the apartment key and information about my NOC."

"Do you need Arthur and I to bring a car over and leave it with you?"

Annie shook her head, "No, I only go into Langley twice a week for therapy. They will send a shuttle. I can take the metro to the National Archives building. When I died, the CIA impounded my car. Calder is working on tracking it down or getting me a replacement. Until then I will make due." She reached for her purse that was on the floor behind the couch and fished out the Campbells spare key. Extending her arm she held it out and waited for Joan to take it, "Here, I won't need this anymore."

Joan nodded and took the key into her fist, "No, I suppose you won't…" She sad up straight and put on her I'm-the-boss face and tone before continuing her statement, "…but Annie, Arthur and I are a phone call away and I want you, I expect you to call if you need anything and to let me know how you're doing. If you don't check in with me, I will show up here. Okay?"

Half-heartedly Annie rolled her eyes, "I would expect nothing less."

"Mhmm." Joan raised her chin and narrowed her eyes as she examined the operative sitting across from her.

Feeling Joans inquisitive glare, Annie let out a sigh mixed with a groan, "What?"

"Are you gonna be okay on your own?"

Annie ran a hand through her hair then set her elbow on the back of the couch, "Yes. I lived by myself for months while I was dark. I know how to keep house and take care of myself."

Joan nodded, "Jessica Matthews lived by herself in isolation. Like you told me earlier, Annie Walker never really has."

"Afraid I'm going to have a break-down or something?"

"No, I just worry about you being isolated." Joan stood and looked down at Annie, "But, you have come a long way over the past month and I know you can handle this adjustment."

Annie stood to open the front door as Joan pulled on her coat and grabbed her phone and keys. Giving her blonde boss a reassuring nod as she held the door open, "I'll be fine Joan."

The blonde woman nodded and pulled Annie into a quick hug before stepping into the hallway, "I know you will." She slowly turned to face Annie once more, "And, uh…if you get lonely you can always invite Auggie over." She spoke in a sly tone with a mischievous grin on her face.

Annie rolled her eyes, "Goodnight Joan." As she closed the door she heard Joan bid her goodnight as she walked down the hall. Annie locked the door and leaned her back against it surveying the empty apartment. It was then she realized just how much of an adjustment this was going to be.

* * *

Joan walked into the house to find her son in his bouncer in the living-room crying his eyes out and her husband bent over as he reached into the back of the fridge. He hadn't heard her enter so Joan closed the front-door as quietly as she could and moved stealthily into the living room to tend to her wailing son. "Hey sweet man." She whispered. McKenzie, realizing his mother was home, silenced his crying and began reaching for her and making sucking sounds. The sudden silence caught Arthurs full attention. He closed the fridge and entered the room with a bottle. "Well hey." He couldn't veil his surprise as he walked across the room and kissed Joans forehead.

"Someone is hungry." She said as she began breast-feeding her son.

Arthur chuckled, "You never texted me to tell me you were on your way home."

Still looking down at her son Joan apologized. Arthur went to the kitchen and returned the bottle to he fridge. "Want me to warm something up for you?"

"No, Annie and I had a late lunch. But I could use a glass of water."

A few minutes later Arthur re-entered the room with a sandwich for himself and a glass of water for his wife. "I'm going to go respond to a few emails." He said as he handed Joan the glass. She nodded in acknowledgement and watched him walk away. Letting out a sigh she set the glass on the end table beside her and looked down at her son. While she sat in silence, she pondered how to approach Arthur about her thoughts concerning his new position. She had faked happiness for him since he made the announcement at dinner the night before but Joan knew, from their past experience, that no matter how hard it was she needed to find words and communicate with the man. McKenzie finished eating and stretched sleepily in his mothers arms. She grinned down at him, "Daddy wore you out today huh?"

Carrying him up to the nursery she put him in his pajamas. She could hear Arthur typing away downstairs. Joan settled into the rocking chair and rocked the infant in her arms to sleep. For a good twenty minutes she just sat and watched her sons peaceful face as he slept. Her heart felt so full in the quiet peace of the moment. The only sound in the room being her sons light moans and gurgles as he slept. The only movement his periodic twitches and re-adjustements. The typing downstairs halted and Joan could hear her husband shuffling around to lock up for the night. She carefull stood and walked down the hall to set the baby into the basinet by her bed before going through her nightly routine of getting ready for bed. Emerging from the bathroom in a night dress she sat on the bed, legs under the sheets, back leaned against the pillows set-up against the head-board and she waited for him to come upstairs. Which he did not long after she stilled.

Entering the room he saw his wife waiting for him. Her face tense, the weight of whatever it was that had been bothering her for the past 24 hours showing itself on her features. Arthur changed out of his jeans and pullover into flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt before settling into bed beside her and turning his face to look at her, "Joan, what's bothering you?"

She crossed her arms and turned her head bringing her eyes to briefly meet her husbands before letting them fall to focus on the floor beside the bed.

Arthur turned his body to block her empty stare. Sitting with his back to the edge of the bed and his legs crossed perpendicularly over the top of her extended ones Arthur whispered her name and waited for her to speak. Joans head tilted to the side and she met his eyes.

"Is it because I announced the committees decision in front of Annie before I told you?"

Joan shook her head, "No, although telling me first would've been nice but I know you were excited and…." She shrugged, "…that's what makes this so hard."

"Joan what is hard?"

Lifting a hand, Joan let it rest on her husbands shin, "I had been hoping you and the DNIs idea would be shot down by the senate." Arthur opened his mouth to speak but Joan held up a hand and shut him up, "Let me explain…." Arthur nodded and closed his mouth. "If they shot it down, you would be home, a stay-at-home-dad and my decision to go back to work would be easier to make. I wouldn't be abandoning my son for my career because you would be home with him."

Arthur put his right hand flat on the bed beside him and leaned on it looking at her sideways, "Why didn't you tell me you wanted me to stay home?"

"Because Arthur I would have been asking you to do something I was un-willing to do myself and that….." She looked down at her hands and shook her head, "….would be selfish and un-fair." Her sad eyes came up to meet his. "I knew this baby would change our lives, we agreed a long time ago that we wanted kids but we wanted our careers and we would find a way to balance it all. But, the reality of that is harder than I ever imagined. Now you will be working, and in January I will be working and I have to deal with the reality that I will have to hire some stranger to raise our son." Her voice began to crack with emotion. Her eyes moving from her concerned husband to her sleeping son.

"Oh Joan…" Arthur said her name with sympathy as he moved to slide under the covers beside her and wrap his arm around her pulling her head to his shoulder. "I wish you would've told me."

Joan sniffled, "Would it have made a difference?"

Arthur shook his head, "Yes and no, I still would've pursued this opportunity but I'm your husband and I need to know when you're struggling with all this. A stranger will not raise our son. A person we trust will take care of him from 9 to 5 four days a week and…"

Joan raised her head and looked up at him, "Four days a week? Arthur, as DCS you worked 6 often 7 days a week from 7 to 9 and the DNI works similar hours."

Arthur nodded, "Now it's your turn to be quiet and let me explain." Joan rolled her eyes but nodded in compliant silence, "I will be a politician. How many politicians do you know that work on Friday and work anywhere close to the hours I used to work." Joan bit her lip unable to come up with an example. "I will be the Associate DNI, the ADNI. I will be a public face, an assistant and something like an advisor, not a manager and final decision maker. Part of that agreement is I have Friday through Sunday off unless there is some crazy invasion. We will have to hire a nanny, but she won't raise our son. We will. We will adjust our schedules as we need to and when we're home, we will be home. You told me you were a better delegator than me…?" Joan rolled her eyes and smirked, "…I know you are and I am counting on that to enable you to take as many long weekends to spend with us as possible. We can do this. You can do this."

Joan looked way and shook her head bringing up a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes. Arthur squeezed her shoulder, "But you're right, hoping I fail at getting a job is selfish." Joan laughed and gave his cheek a playful slap. As her hand fell away from his face Arthur grabbed it and pulled her body close to his. Joan laid head onto his chest and felt him kiss the top of her head as she closed her eyes. "I love you Arthur." He shimmied down so he was laying on his back and Joan re-adjusted herself so she could lay snuggled into this side with her head on his chest. "I love you too Joan. You are an amazing mother and wife. McKenzie and I are the luckiest men in the world." Letting out a sigh of contentment Joan relaxed and began to drift into sleep. Her husbands steady heart-beat beneath her head and the smell of his cologne comforting her as she replayed his words in her head, _We can do this._


	17. Chapter 17

As the sunlight began to peek over the horizon Annie pulled the blanket closer around her shoulders. Although obscured by the structures surrounding her third story apartment window she could see the golden rays slowly creeping into the sky dispelling the darkness as they rose higher and higher. The dark sky first turned a shade of deep blue but now even the blue was being displaced by purple, pink, orange, and yellow. Breathing deeply Annie closed her eyes and let her pale skin absorb the warmth of the sun. She had observed many a sunrise but never had she seen one from the beginning stages of darkness all the way to the light of day. The changes were subtle, and slow. Barely noticeable at first. Then suddenly, the fading of the colors and growing intensity of the light picked-up speed and the world became new.

Adjustments.

It had been a few weeks since she last had a night so restless. Not because of nightmares, but the fear of them loomed and kept her from falling into deep sleep. It's as if her body, in full rebellion, launched the cause of keeping her awake so the darkness couldn't take over her sleeping mind. It was also strange to not hear a newborns cries every few hours. Her apartment was quiet except the sound of the heat kicking on periodically or a car driving by on the street. It gave her time to think. Probably to think too much. Now she was standing alone wondering how she got here. In a melancholy muse she compared her life lately to the sunrise. Darkness. Pure darkness but slowly there were changes. Slowly she was able to see. The adjustment was taking longer than she liked. It was time for the sun to peak and the changes to pick-up momentum. Annie Walker was done with loss, done with guilt. It was time to move on. Time for a new day to dawn. If only she could get her restless body and oscillating emotions on board with her tenacious will.

* * *

The CIA security guards were becoming comfortable and familiar with Annie Walker. Today she breezed through the checkpoints and both quickly and painlessly obtained her red visitors badge. Stepping into the main hall she found a familiar face leaning against the marble wall waiting for her.

Upon hearing her take her first step towards him, Auggie looked up in her general direction and sent her a warm smile. "Anne."

"August." She reached for his hand and let him trail his fingers up her arm to find her elbow. "What is the director of the DPD doing escorting a visitor around Langley?"

"Investigating any threats that make it past our borders. That is, after all, my job description." He spoke out of one side of his mouth and let sarcasm overtake his features.

"So I'm a threat?"

"You're on my list."

"Uh-huh." Annie mumbled as she rolled her eyes.

"Hows the apartment?"

"It's nice."

"Nice? That's it?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" Annie asked as she reached for the button to bring the elevator to Dr. Peterson's floor.

Auggie waited until he heard the elevator doors close to answer her question. "We alone?"

"Yeah."

He took a step closer to her and looked down to where he hoped her eyes were, "How are you handling being alone?"

Annie rolled her eyes but didn't step away from him, "You sound like Joan. Stop worrying about me living on my own. I am a spy I think I can handle it."

Auggie nodded and turned his head from her voice to the door of the elevator, "I know you can, but I also know it is hard to be alone with your thoughts sometimes."

Annie shot him a glare he couldn't see but could obviously feel as the doors slid open. The way he could read her thoughts was un-canny. Sometimes she appreciated it. Being known and understood by another person is comforting but it is also often annoying. Especially when he is right.

* * *

"How do you feel about being on your own?"

Annie squinted her eyes and bit on her cheek, _How many variations of that question can there possibly be._ "I feel...normal."

"Normal is a relative state of being, not a feeling. Did you sleep last night?"

Annie, still on the edge of her seat, tugged on the bottom of her pencil skirt and straightened her posture, "We're back to that question? And I thought I was improving." Light sarcasm crept into her tone of voice.

"You are." Dr. Peterson stated matter-of-factly as he set her notebook onto the coffee table between them and relaxed back into his chair. "But living on your own requires an adjustment period. Especially after a trauma. So, for today, it is again a relevant question."

Annie sighed and Dr. Peterson narrowed his eyes at her, "Did you sleep?"

Tilting her head to the side, Annie pursed her lips before responding in a harsh tone, "No."

"Nightmares?"

"No."

"So...?"

"I slept some it was just...restless." She had an air of superiority in her voice.

Dr. Peterson gave an understanding nod, "Not surprising. It takes time to get used to sleeping in a new place. Which brings me back to my original question...how do you feel about being on your own?"

Annie leaned toward him and put her elbows on her knees, "Let me ask you a question..." When he didn't dismiss her proposition Annie went on, "...if you and everyone else are so worried about me living on my own, why did you tell Calder I was ready?"

"Did you not feel ready?"

Annie sat back and sighed in frustration, "I didn't feel anything. It is just the next step in the process. Whatever this process is, seeing as there is no norm for what I'm going through."

"No, there isn't. Normally, what makes treating a PTSD patient in the CIA so difficult is their need for a support system. They need people they can work through their issues with apart from just their therapist. We live in a classified world so, an operative having that support, accountability, having someone they can talk too regardless of the level of classification is rare. "

"That's why I stayed with Joan and Arthur?"

"Yes and no. They did not consult me before inviting you. It was their instinct. In fact they approached me to make sure they weren't doing any harm by keeping you in their home and making you talk about things. It was that support system, coupled with Auggie and Calder that made me comfortable with your process being different and, in all honesty shorter."

"Shorter?" She sounded un-impressed.

"You are resilient Annie. You have a support system, you have people with clearances higher than yours that you can feel comfortable talking too. Because of that, I feel comfortable clearing you early, and letting you live on your own sooner than I would most patients. Calder asked for my opinion on your readiness level before he approached you with your new NOC. As much as he wanted you in the field, he wanted you healthy more."

Annie sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Are you angry with Calder, or me for giving you this much leeway?"

"No I'm not angry. I just don't understand why you cleared me this far if you don't think I can handle it. You keep asking me how I feel about being on my own. What do you want me to say that I….I feel happy?"

"Do you feel happy to be independent again?"

Annie paused and looked at him with narrow eyes, "Yes."

"Annie, you told me you didn't have time to let yourself feel anything while you were on your own."

"Because that's true."

Letting out a deep sigh he brought his hands to fold under his chin, "Let's to back to when you were on your own, in the dark. Were there any moments in which you let yourself feel fear?"

_"I was afraid I lost you"  
__"You know when I was afraid?"  
__"When?"  
__"When I knocked on your door and you asked who was there and I didn't know the answer."_

Annie slowly brought her focus from the wall behind her therapists head to his eyes, "Yes." she said just under a whisper.

"When?"

Annie looked down at her hands and picked at her fingernail, "When I came back to D.C. as Jessica Matthews, I went to see Auggie and he asked me who was there..." Dr. Petersons contemplative silence and eerie stillness egged the young blonde on to continue the story, "I didn't know if I was supposed to say I was Jessica or Annie or just nobody..." She let her eyes meet his for a second before glancing past him at the bookshelf on the wall behind his chair. Annie stood and walked over to examine the contents more closely and to buy herself some time. "...I was afraid because I realized I had become someone else, someone I didn't recognize." She pulled out a copy of _Cry The Beloved Country_ and flipped through it before stuffing it back into its place. "I realized I had forgotten who I was and that terrified me." Crossing her arms she turned to see Dr. Peterson had been watching her in the mirror over the couch against the opposite wall.

"Annie, can you come sit down?" His voice was smooth and calm.

She willingly obeyed and returned to her seat on the couch across from the tall, long man.

"Did you let yourself grieve?"

Confusion drew lines all over her face, "I was the one who died..."

"But certainly relationships you had died."

"Maybe"

"Maybe? Annie you're diminishing your experiences. It's a way of not having to look at choices you've made."

"I am fully aware of the choices I've made"

"Are you?"

"I chose to go dark. I chose to leave Auggie. I chose to lie to my sister and I chose to kill Henry Wilcox."

"You chose to let go of who you were and in doing so you chose to live out your core fear."

"Core fear?"

"Yes you told me the moment you were afraid was the moment you didn't know who you were."

"No I said it was the moment Auggie asked me who was there and I didn't know how to answer..."

He looked her in the eye for a moment before interrupting her and posing a question in a stern voice, "Who are you?"

Annie's rambling came to an abrupt halt. She licked her lips and looked at him with a sideways glare, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Who-Are-You?"

There was a long pause as Annie let the question sink in. "I don't know?"

"I know and that is why you are here. Not because you can't sleep, your symptoms are irrelevant because until you can answer that question we can't move forward. Sometimes you have to let your greatest fears take up temporary residence in you. Only in living with them will you ever overcome them."

Annie could feel warm tears beginning to pool behind her brown eyes.

"Annie, what are you afraid of?"

She let out a sigh and cursed under her breath as a tear fell down her left cheek, "Loosing what made me, me, what made me Annie Walker."

"Can you tell me what that is?"

Another moment of silence filled the office as Annie looked for an answer, "I guess my job, my family, friends, what I do, who I know. Without their approval I'm just out there on my own. I'm just Jessica Matthews. I'm nobody."

"And for nearly four months you went without the things that defined you and you never grieved the loss. And now you are trying to re-build your life without letting go of the old you. You will never be the same person you were before you faked your death and isolated yourself and you can never fully embrace who you are becoming without grieving and letting go of who you lost."

* * *

Annie trudged up the snow-covered walk-way to the door of her storage facility. It contained three things she needed: a car to avoid the awful CIA shuttle rides, a computer so she could book her ticket to California, and a it was a safe, silent place where she could breathe. Once inside the shed she rolled the door down and took a moment to smile at the memories the car stirred in her. Memories of the old Annie. The smile left her face as her mind turned to memories of Jessica. Annie set herself into the drivers seat and leaned her head back. _Who am I? What makes me Annie? Those questions shouldn't be so hard to answer._

_"Take some time to think about the answer to these questions and how the answers have changed since you went dark."_

Dr. Peterson's homework assignment ran thought her mind. Sitting up she removed her computer from its hiding spot and hooked up the wireless internet. Retrieving her phone from her pocket she saw a text from Joan which she ignored for the moment and dialed her sisters number.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Danielle. I am looking at plane tickets."

_"Okay, I am pulling out my calendar. What flights are you looking at? How long will you stay?"_

"I don't have much vacation time."

_"You have a job?"_

"Yeah, I'm working for the National Archives as an analyst starting the day after tomorrow." She said in a passive tone as she scrolled down the page of flight options.

_"What about...you know…?" Danielle didn't want to say the word so beat around the bush hoping Annie would understand._

"Yeah, my other employer is fully aware and supportive."

_"In other words you didn't quit you just took on a second job?"_

"Basically, so how does me flying in on Saturday and back the day after Christmas sound? I'll land at the San Francisco International Airport at 7pm and then leave at 7:55am to go home."

_"That's barely 5 days."_

"I know it's short but…."

_"But I'm gonna get to see you so short or not I am just glad you're coming."_

"Me too." She said with a grin in her voice.

_"Email me your itinerary and I will see you in a few days!" Danielles voice practically screeched on the phone._

"Okay. And, uh, the girls screeching tone, directly inherited from you." She said in a sarcastic tone.

_"Oh yeah, well... fine." she said, unable to think of a good comeback._

"I love you Danielle."

_"I love you too Annie, oh, you said you were getting an apartment the other day?"_

"Yeah sorry, uh I live on M Street in a one-bedroom apartment."

_"New job, new home, that's a lot of change and I know we're military brats so professional change managers but...are you doing okay?"_

Annie sighed, "How about we talk about that when I get in town?"

_"Fine. It just gives me time to think of more obnoxious big-sister questions to ask you. And don't forget to send me your itinerary."_

Hands flying over the keys Annie quickly emailed it to her while she was thinking about it, "In your inbox."

_"Thanks."_

Annie said goodbye and ended the call before opening the message from Joan.

_"Some of your clothes were in the dryer with the load you ran before you left. We will be home all night if you want to drop by and pick them up or I can bring them to you Thursday. I will be in the office for an hour or so."_

Typing a brief reply Annie stashed her computer and go-bag before opening the door of the shed. Putting the key in the ignition she couldn't help but grin when she heard the engine start.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Annie pulled up in front of the house numbered 2856. She knocked on the front door and pulled her coat closer to her as a frigid breeze blew around her.

Joan answered the door with McKenzie in her arms, "Annie, come in."

The blonde entered the house and greeted Arthur who was coming down the stairs.

Joan turned to address the blonde, "Here…." She handed the baby to Annie, "…you hold him and I will grab your clothes."

Annie grinned down at the baby boy. Arthur cleared his throat to get the young blondes attention, "Where did you get that car?"

Letting out a chuckle Annie nodded toward the driveway where she was parked, "Auggie gave it to me a few years ago. Two rides in the complementary CIA shuttle were enough to make me go get it out of storage."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "Can't say I blame you there. How do you like your apartment?" His narrow eyes met Annies wide brown ones.

"Its nice."

Joans light footsteps on the stairs drew Arthurs attention away from her and the conversation that Annie preferred to not repeat.

Instead of reaching to take McKenzie, Joan nodded toward the living room and set the tote-bag full of Annies clothes on the table by the door, "Come sit."

Annie looked at Arthur. Her expression requesting he help her escape the impending sit-down with Joan. Her desperate galre was met with pursed lips, a shake of the head and two hands raised in surrender before her source of escape turned and retreated to his office.

Annie took a deep breath and put on a smile before taking a seat beside Joan.

"How are you adjusting?"

Annie switched arms she was holding McKenzie with and looked up at Joan, "Fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay."

Joan stood and took her son from Annie who was trying her best not to look as shocked as she felt. She watched the woman walk across the hall and open one of the doors of the built-ins in the living room wall.

"I'm guessing you installed your safe during your sleepless night last night?" Joan looked over her shoulder just in time to catch Annie shrug. Turning around and closing the cabinet door she now had Annies gun in her hand. Stretching her arm out she offered it to the now obviously shocked blonde sitting on the couch. "For your safe and I expect you to keep it in there and not on your night-stand."

Annie took the weapon and nodded in agreement.

* * *

Joan stood in the window and watched Annie drive off. Her husband came to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Worried?"

With a sigh Joans eyes flickered from the empty driveway to the baby in her arms, "I think I will worry about Annie Walker for the rest of my life, but less so once she is finally cleared and back to being the Annie that drives me crazy."

Arthur chuckled and leaned over to kiss her cheek, "In that respect she really does remind me of you."

Joan turned and looked at him with a sideways glare, "Oh really?"

"Mhmm, terrible at taking orders, always pushing the envelope but somehow always getting the win." A grin began to flicker across Joans mouth. "She will pull through this."

Joan nodded, "I hope so."


	18. Chapter 18

From the time she stepped out of the elevator, every step she took toward the Domestic Protection Division was as silent as she could make it. Her heel never clicked against the tile and she was feeling proud of her stealthy abilities until...

"Walker?"

With a groan she let her heel down and walked around the corner and entered his office, "Yes" she replied lamely. He pulled his headphones off his ears and let them rest around his neck, "Don't sound too excited to see me or anything."

Rounding his desk she gave him a quick punch in the shoulder, "How do you always know it's me? I walked on my tip-toes, I'm not wearing any perfume, I practically held my breath, and I walked into the DPD directly behind someone so you wouldn't know the door had opened but you still knew I was there."

He gave her a cocky grin, "What can I say? My Annie Walker tracking software is the best in the world..." Annie chuckled as Auggie cleared his desk-top of whatever he was working on and sat back into his chair giving his un-divided attention to the blonde perched on his desk. "...as is my caffeine detecting radar. Did you bring me coffee Walker?"

"Again..." she said with a flip of her hair, "...how do you do that..." She set the cup in her left-hand down on his desk, "Coffee at your ten o'clock."

Reaching for the cup, Auggie gave her yet another cheeky grin, "Thank you. So, what do you need from me?" His eyes smiled over his cup in her general direction as he took a sip.

"Nothing. Calder just mentioned you pulled an all-nigher and were in need of a pick-me-up."

Auggie shook his head, "How he went from not allowing us to talk to each other to pushing us together I will never know."

"I guess that's one good change..."

Auggie shrugged in response and took another sip of his cup of energy.

"Don't you wanna know why I was just up on the seventh floor?" Annie asked in a sly tone.

Auggie rubbed his chin as if he had a beard the size of Santa Clause, "I don't know...Do I?"

Rolling her eyes, Annie rambled on, "I was signing my reinstatement paperwork and getting my badge..." Emphasizing the word she un-clipped it from her pencil-skirt and waved it in the air. "...so, other than the fact my clearance is almost as low as the person who made you that cup of coffee, and the fact I can't even think about doing fieldwork, Annie Walker is back."

Holding his coffee cup down by his stomach, Auggie cocked his head sideways and smiled up at her, "Well, in that case..." he set his cardboard cup down on the desk and reached with his left hand until he found her arm. Lightly trailing his fingers down he expertly found her hand and held it in his own, "...Annie Walker, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the agency."

"Thanks Auggie." Annie grinned and smiled down at him as she pondered the implications of "being back", her fingers meshing into his out of habit.

Using a quick squeeze to re-gain her full attention, Auggie looked up toward her, "What time do you go in for your first day in your new NOC?"

Annie squinted her eyes at him, "I'm meeting my new supervisor to get my other credentials at 11, but first...I have a therapy session..." her eyes leisurely looked to check the time on the TV screen behind his desk. "Oh no...I, I gotta go, my session with Dr. Peterson is in two minutes." Un-tangling her hand from Auggies, she abruptly scrambled to her feet and hurried toward the door.

"Don't wanna to keep those evil shrinks waiting. Good luck Walker." He shot a mischievous grin toward her spot in the doorway before putting his head-phones back on. Smiling to herself, Annie continued her frantic trek toward her therapists office.

* * *

Annie paced the length of Dr. Petersons office. When her nervous footsteps caused her to face where he was seated behind his desk she carefully examined his non-verbals as he read. When her back was to him she eyed the door. Once again, she felt like a college student waiting on her professor to finish proofreading her paper and either declare her to be a genius or a failure. It took her nearly half of the hour-long session to work up the courage to turn it in. It wasn't even that long so what the hell was taking him so damn long.

Flipping her hair around she was again facing the man who had finished reading and was now sitting with his hands clasped over the his desk. His grey eyes wide with amusement as he watched the nervous flurry of blonde in front of him. Annies eyes widened with shock seeing he had finished, "So?"

The man didn't respond just motioned for her to take a seat in one of the chairs across from his desk. Annie nervously tugged down on her grey blazer as she moved to take a seat.

"When did you put this list together?"

With a deep breath Annie responded, "Yesterday I took a drive at 4am." Dr. Petersons eyes narrowed at her. Annie shook her head and tried to non-verbally dismiss his worries, "I went to Bickle Knob, it's an observation tower in the Monongahlea National Forest. I didn't plan on going there but it's where I ended up."

"Is that a significant place for you?" he asked as he brought his clenched fist up from where it was resting on the desk to where it propped up his chin.

Annie shrugged, "My dad took us there as kids." Looking down at her hands she chuckled at the memory, "He took us up to the...the wood platform and pointed at the endless forest around us told us a story." She shook her head and looked up at her amused therapist.

Dr. Peterson sat back in his chair, "What was the story?"

"The Velveteen Rabbit. He said it was the forest that the rabbit lived in after he was changed from being a toy to being a real rabbit. My dad told us that story all the time before he..." her thoughts left the room for a moment until she remembered where she was and why she had brought up the folktale to begin with, "...in the story, the rabbit asks what it means to be real and the horse replies, _'Real isn't how you are made...It's a thing that happens to you.'"_ Annie smiled at herself with pride, "So I sat up there and realized what makes me Annie Walker isn't one thing it's everything that has happened to me and it involves everyone I have met."

Dr. Peterson nodded and completed her thought, "So you wrote a list of things that make Annie Walker real."

The blonde operative bit her lip, "Did I do it right?"

"There is no right or wrong way to answer the question, 'who am I' but this is a very good start. I'm proud of you Annie, I know writing this wasn't easy."

A hopeful smile played on her lips as Dr. Peterson folded the paper back in half and handed it to her, "I believe you need to get to work?"

Annie accepted the paper. Running her fingers over the crease she nodded and stood.

"Good luck today."

She thanked him and turned to leave.

"Oh, and Annie..." He leaned forward and set his clasped hands on the top of his mahogany desk, "...from now on we'll only be meeting once a week. I'll see you when you get back from California."

Her face bent with confusion as she stepped away from the door and back toward his desk, "Really? I mean, am...am I ready for that?"

"Do you feel like you are?"

"I-I guess, I just thought...Calder said I had another month of therapy."

"I didn't say I was clearing you or that you are ready to stop coming to sessions just that they'll be less frequent. Are you uncomfortable with that?"

For some reason part of her wanted to say yes. Swallowing down her nerves she shook her head, "No, I'm good."

He nodded, "Good. You have my number if you need anything, otherwise, enjoy the holiday Annie."

* * *

"Annie Walker?"

A medium-height woman with a sharp and narrow face, short dark hair, and lean figure questioned the young blondes identity as she entered the conference room. Annie stood and extended a hand, "That's me. I assume you are Michelle Biram?" The woman in the black pantsuit across from her nodded and shook Annies hand firmly, "I am. Please sit."

Annie sat and watched Michelle open the file that had been tucked under her arm, "Okay, so you have been granted a Top Secret Clearance, you have signed your new hire paperwork and confidentiality forms, and here is your I.D. card..." She spoke without looking up from the file and held the plastic card out to Annie who clipped it to her blazer. Funny, her official clearance for her NOC was higher than her un-official, temporary clearance for the CIA.

"Okay." The woman snapped the folder shut and stood, "It's a pleasure to have you at the National Archives. Follow me and I will show you to your office." Annie stood and followed the woman who traded her secretary the folder in her hand for another one which she promptly turned over to Annie. "Your resume was given to me by my bosses boss. It highlights your language abilities. For now, consider yourself our in-house Russian expert." Annie opened the file and felt a moment of deja vu as her mind flashed back to being called into Langley for her "language abilities".

Her brow furrowed with confusion as she looked at details of the document she was supposed to work on retrieving, "I don't speak Romanian."

The woman sighed but kept walking, "The letter was originally lost in Romania but we are pretty sure it is written in English and that it's current location is in Russia. What do you know about Operation Tidal Wave?"

Annie quickened her pace to keep up with the dark-haired woman, "The Air Force bombed Ploistei Romania to destroy the oil supplies there that the Axis powers were using, but it ended as a strategic failure."

The woman nodded, "Page 9" Annie flipped through the file, "That is what is written in the history books. There was a second target compartmentalized from the main mission that was successfully attacked. A hand-written letter General Ent gave a U.S. airman the instructions and location which he attacked successfully. Strategic failure, yes but his mission being completed alone made the loss of lives and aircraft negligent."

Annies reading finally caught up to Michelles story, "His plane crashed in Russia where he took up residence with a Russian family until he was found and captured. And you think the letter is still in Russia?"

The woman used her ID badge to open the door of an office in the back corner of the building, "No we know it is. Page 11."

"The classifieds from a Moscow newspaper printed last week..."

"Yes, someone advertised having a letter for sale to the highest bidder."

Annie read the highlighted column, "A letter written in English from G.E."

"We think that could be General Ent. Your job is to find that letter and bring it back."

Annie shut the file and looked around the small room, "Finding mis-placed classified material, that sounds more like a job for the CIA than for a language expert." The words flew out of her mouth and she realized she had just put herself in a potentially compromising position.

The woman looked harshly at Annie, "If you don't think you can do it I am sure I can find someone else who speaks Russian."

Annie shook her head, "No I just meant..."

"Because it was off books in 1944 and classified it should still be so? The Office of Strategic Services was a bully then and her child, the CIA is a bully now. You do know that the NARA is responsible for storing classified documents until they can be declassified? This is one such document we would prefer to have in our vault and not roaming around Europe in some civilians pocket."

"I meant no dis-respect."

"I'm sure you didn't. Along with working on finding this letter you also need to read-over classifieds in Russian newspapers looking for similar advertisements. We have no way of knowing what historical documents are missing from our collection or are absent from our limited knowledge so when you have no specific assignment you are simply looking for breadcrumbs." Annie nodded indicating she understood when the woman paused and looked for a response, "Most of our analysts work from home and are only here when they have something to show me. You are new, and to be honest you were fired from the Smithsonian for being un-reachable for over a month after which you made your living as a criminal until, what did your cover letter call it, a life-changing event forced you to re-evaluate your life?" The woman raised a thick dark eyebrow at Annie, "...so I would feel more comfortable if you come in as often as possible so I can get to know you."

"I understand your concern and I promise to be here on a consistent basis. I am, however, planning on being out of town for the holidays. I will be back in the office on the 27th."

"And that is fine with me as long as you come back. If you have any questions, you know where to find me. One of our senior analysts will be here tomorrow. If you have any questions I am sure he would be happy to answer them as well."

"Thank you Ms. Biram."

"Michelle."

Annie quickly corrected herself, "Michelle."

The woman gave Annie a half-smile and exited the room. Once her footsteps had gone silent Annie closed her office door and breathed a sigh of relief. Michelle Biram did not trust Annie Walker.

Annie pulled out her cell phone and rang Auggies line at Langley.

"Anderson."

"Hey Auggie, it's me." She identified herself as she walked around her small, dusty, windowless office. There was an empty bookshelf taking up the wall to her right, straight across from the doorway was a desk that looked like it had been around for a hundred years.

"How is orientation day going?"

Annie pulled the chair out from under the desk and cautiously sat, unsure if it would hold her weight. It squeaked but remained in one piece, "It's been interesting."

"Are you free to talk?"

"Is my office free?"

"Yes, we had a team sweep it this morning."

"Okay. Well my clearance here is higher than it is there."

She could hear a smile in Auggies voice, "Really now?"

Annie rolled her eyes, "Was that your idea or Calders?"

"Mine of course. Like your first assignment?"

With a smack of her lips she switched the phone from one ear to the other, "I knew it was too much of a coincidence. What's the real story?"

"Oh, I didn't choose that assignment for you and frankly the CIA doesn't care who sees that letter. Compared to Snowden and a number of other things outside of either of your clearance levels, or mine for that matter, that letter would be a minor scandal."

"That surprises me. What can you tell me about the compartmentalized mission the letter gave instructions for?"

"He dropped a bomb on a target of OSS interest."

"So it wasn't a super-secret mission?"

"Then it was. Like I said, Annie, the CIA didn't arrange for you to get this mission, Michelle did. She is Jewish, her great-grandfather was a Romanian Jew persecuted by the Nazis. She has a soft-spot for her home-country and the NARA have been looking for this letter for years."

"I'm surprised she has a soft anything."

"I heard she was a little bit intimidating."

Annie scoffed, "A little bit?"

"Speaking of intimidating, Joan Campbell just walked into the DPD, and is walking straight toward...Afternoon Joan."

Annie rolled her eyes at his super-blind-man abilities at work once again. She could hear Joans greeting on the other end of the phone.

"Annie, I'm putting you on speaker."

A moment later Joans voice came over the phone, "Hey Annie."

"Joan."

"Like your office?"

Annie chuckled and looked around the room, "It has an antique air about it that the historian in me may get used too, in another life."

"I heard. Listen, prove yourself, earn some rapport then you won't have to spend your days in the dungeon."

Auggie chimed in, "Yes the faster she trusts you, the faster you can get back to spending your days here."

Lisa, Auggies secretary joined Joan and Auggies voices as she informed Joan that Calder was waiting for her. Joan thanked and dismissed the girl before turning her attention back to the phone-call, "Annie, do you still want me or Arthur to take you to the airport on Saturday?"

The sudden change in subject threw Annie off, "Uh, yeah, my flight leaves at 10am"

"Okay, one of us will get you. Bye Annie, Auggie, if I don't see you again, enjoy your holiday."

"You too Joan."

Annie heard him change the phones setting and bring it back to his ear, "In celebration of your return to the Agency, how about Allen's with your old, blind CIA friend at 7?"

Annie grinned, "Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate."

* * *

The sound of Auggies cane sweeping rhythmically across the floor pulled Annies attention from the beer in her hands to the tall man walking toward her. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." He pulled the chair across from her out from under the table and took a seat. The waitress came and took his order.

"So, California for Christmas? Excited" he asked removing his satchel and sliding it under his chair.

"Yeah. I'm excited to see Danielle and the girls. Not so excited about spending Christmas day with Michaels family."

He raised an inquisitive brow, "Why not?"

"They are formal and rich and, I haven't seen them since Danielles wedding, but, I remember very vividly not getting along with Michaels mother."

The waitress set a mug in front of Auggie telling him it was at his ten o'clock. He thanked her and took a sip before addressing Annie, "I am sure you can win her over with your charm. If that doesn't work, just treat her like an asset. Find out what makes her tick, stroke her ego, you will be besties in no time."

Annie rolled her eyes, "Maybe so. What do you have planned for the holidays?"

"Goin home for Christmas Eve and Christmas day unless an international emergency rescues me."

"I thought you liked going home?"

"I do, just not at Christmas. It's hard to be in a house with my three brothers, their wives and their kids. There is stuff everywhere. Toys, people, luggage, food, it's a blind mans nightmare. I have to be led around to do basically anything."

Annie sighed, "I'm sorry Auggie."

"I'm just hoping my niece has grown out of her uh, sticker stage. Last time I saw her she covered my cane in what I later found out were Disney princess stickers."

Annie covered her mouth and tried not to laugh.

"It's okay laugh it up. I never got the stickers and goo off so I bought a new cane."

"I'm so sorry Auggie."

He shrugged dismissively, "How was therapy?"

Annie leaned forward on her elbows, "Good actually. We're moving to once a week from now on."

Auggie looked as surprised as she had been, "You ready for that?"

Annie took a deep breath, "Honestly, I'm not sure. A week ago I would've told you I was ready to be cleared on day one but maybe I wasn't. I'm..feeling like myself again. It's slow but...bit by bit I'm becoming myself or this new version of myself."

Auggie leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, "Well you sound more like yourself."

"Yeah?" She asked flirtatiously.

"Yeup." He replied mid-yawn.

Annie looked at him with a sad smile, "So, you've been up for 36 hours?"

Sitting up straight, Auggie tried to wipe the tiredness off his face with his hand, "Not like I haven't done it before."

Annie stood and lightly tapped his arm with her fingertips, "Come on sleepy man, I am taking you home and putting you to bed."

He looked up and gave her a coy smirk, "Putting me to bed?"

Annie groaned and scolded him, "Get your head out of the gutter."

He put his bag over his head and picked up his cane before following her lead toward the parking lot. "I was just excited for bed time stories with Aunt Annie, you're the one whose mind is in the gutter."

Annie laughed an "Uh-huh" as they reached the Corvette. She took Auggies hand and put it on the hood.

"This doesn't feel like a doo….."he stopped mid-thought and started running his hand over the side of the car, "….you kept her?"

"Of course I did. Good thing too or I would be stuck on that awful shuttle everyday." Auggie laughed as he found the door handle and eased himself into he car. "Well I'm glad to know she is being well taken care of."

* * *

Annie pulled up to the curb beside his apartment entrance, "We're here."

He nodded but didn't move to get out of the car. Instead he opened his bag and pulled out a white box with a red bow tied around it. "Because I probably won't see you until after the holidays." He shyly held the gift out for her to take.

"Auggie, you shouldn't...I didn't get you anything."

He shook his head, "Yes you did." He reached for her and found her hands. Placing the box in one he took the other in his own, "You came home, gave me a second chance, and gave me a ride in my favorite car. You being here is all I could've asked for." He pulled her hand to his lips and planted a soft kiss on her knuckes sending goosebumps up her arm. He shot her a warm smile, "You gonna open it?"

"I need two hands to do that." She could see him blush even in the dim light as he let her hand go. "You wrap this yourself?"

He shrugged, "I have a friend."

Annie just laughed and nodded as she tore the paper open revealing a box of perfume. "VERVEINE D'EUGÈNE?"

Auggie nodded proudly, "It's like Jo Malone Grapefruit, according to the sales lady at Nordstrom, but you haven't worn it since you got back and I figured, new Annie, new scent. Plus it will make finding you in a crowded room a little easier." He could hear Annie opening the box, hear her carefully remove the lid and hear her as she inhaled the scent, "I think it smells like you." When she didn't respond he started to worry, "You don't like it?"

The blonde beside him shook her head, "No, I love it." She sniffled and leaned over the car to kiss him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas Annie." He whispered against her cheek. Annie planted a kiss on his lips, "Merry Christmas Auggie." She managed to whisper before he captured her lips again. He pulled away and caressed her face before letting out a deep sigh. "Goodnight Annie." She nodded into his palm before he pulled it away and reached for the door handle. Annie stayed and waited to make sure he made it into the building before starting the car and driving to her apartment.

* * *

**Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit  
**(therefore obviously not my original work)

_"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"_

_"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."_

_"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit._

_"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."_

_"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"_

_"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."_


	19. Chapter 19

It was a little after 8am when Arthur merged onto the freeway with Annie in the passenger seat of his black BMW. He hadn't said much since he picked her up at the apartment. Honestly, Annie had been expecting Joan to come get her and finding Arthur at her door surprised her. An awkward silence had now settled over the car.

When the road crossed over the Potomac Annie broke the silence, "What are you and Joan doing for the holidays?" His was un-responsive as his glazed over dark brown eyes just kept staring at the road ahead of him. "Arthur?" Annie requested his attention when she realized he hadn't heard her attempt at making small talk. He blinked and glanced over at her, "Sorry, McKenzie was up every hour last night. I don't think Joan slept more than three hours. I obviously didn't get much more than her." He sighed deeply trying to hide a yawn, "What are we doing for the holidays...?" He pursed his lips as he pulled the question out of his memory. "Tonight we're celebrating with Joan's family in Baltimore..."

Annie glanced at him, "With her sisters?"

"Mhmm. Between her parents, three sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews it is a full house. Every year a few days before Christmas her parents host a formal Holiday dinner for the immediate family. Tonight is the first time her family will meet McKenzie. Then Christmas Eve we spend with my family in Richmond, and Christmas day has always been just the two of us."

"Now the three of you." Annie interjected. She watched a warm smile take over Arthur's tired features.

"When do you get back in town? I assume you will need a ride home?"

"I fly back the 26th and yes, if you don't mind. I didn't want to leave the Corvette at the airport."

Arthur chuckled as he pulled into the departures section of the airport, "Understandable. One of us will come get you." Parking the car by the curb he grabbed Annies luggage from the trunk and met her on the sidewalk. He set the suitcase down beside her before standing up straight and revealing the box he held hidden behind his back. "This is from Joan. She said to tell you to open it on the plane."

Annie took the box and nodded, "I guess it won't get me arrested when I go through security?"

With a shake of his head Arthur responded, "I doubt it."

"Thank you." Annie said looking at the concrete under her feet as she picked up the handle of the suitcase.

"Don't thank me I have no idea what Joan got you."

"No, I mean I'm...I'm grateful for the gift but..." Annie shook her head and sighed, "...thank you for giving me a place to stay, for helping me sort everything out and for calling Michael, if you hadn't I probably wouldn't be spending Christmas in California."

"Annie, I know it has been a tumultuous year and I know you, Joan and I haven't always seen eye to eye but we do want what is best for you and we want to see you succeed, see you healthy and we are relieved you're home. Apart from the agency, you are family. As difficult as it's been for us to watch you go through this process I'm honored you let us in and we are proud of you." He shot a genuine smile at the young operative and noticed the tears that were forming in her eyes. Arthur instinctively reached and wrapped the blonde in a quick fatherly embrace surprising both her and himself. He released her and shot her a grin, "Have a safe flight Walker and enjoy your time with your sister. "

"I will." She said as she smiled back.

Arthur leaned against the car and watched her walk into the terminal. Once she disappeared inside he chuckled at himself and headed home.

* * *

"Is this on right?" Arthur asked as he entered the bathroom where Joan was putting the last touches on her makeup. Setting the brush and powder down she turned to look at the baby-boy in her husbands arms who was dressed in a black suit that matched his fathers. A wide dimpled grin took over her worried face, "Yes." She bent down and kissed McKenzies forehead. "I'm almost ready can you pack an extra change of clothes in his diaper bag and grab the blue blanket off the crib."

"Yes ma'am." He responded and went to go his chores.

Joan sighed at her reflection in the mirror. Still feeling un-comfortable with her 1 month post-postpartum body. She was no longer sore and she had shed most of her baby weight but the red stretch marks hidden by the red sheath dress she was wearing hadn't faded and she suddenly had acne like she was a teenager again. Finishing her makeup, which was heavier than usual to hide the acne and dark circles under her eyes, she walked into the bedroom and used the mirror above her dresser to put on her jewelry.

Arthur re-entered the bedroom as she was putting on her last earring toting their son in the car seat and the black diaper bag. "McKenzie is ready to go."

Joan looked at him in the mirrors reflection and placed her palms flat on the dresser, "Arthur..." she bit her bottom lip when his eyes met hers "...what if we just stay home." His brow furrowed and he took a step toward his wife as she turned to face him, "...I'm tired and I just don't feel up to this." He stood a foot away from her and tilted his head to the side, "What's wrong Joan?" She let out a deep sigh and moved to busy herself by double checking the contents of McKenzies bag. "I'm not sure I can handle being crammed into that house with everyone telling stories about how they raised their kids and asking me if I'm going to quit my job and stay home and I just don't feel up to a night of family drama." She turned and leaned against the bed with her arms crossed over her chest. "We don't have to say late, but Joan, it's your family, they want to meet the baby and they want to see you. How we raise our son is none of their business and you will tell them so…What's really bothering you?" Her eyes timidly met his as he walked toward her and gave her shoulders a squeeze before trailing his hands down to rest on her hips. She whispered, "I feel like a whale that got strapped to a rack and stretched until it split in half." Arthur smiled down at his wife and shook his head, "You don't look like one. You look like my stunning wife and mother of my son, both of whom I want to show off." Joan rolled her eyes and wrapped her hands around his back, "Okay." Arthur pulled her close and whispered into her ear, "What did you want to do instead?" Joan sighed into his chest, "Curl up in front of the fireplace with you and a glass of wine and just relax." Arthur nodded and kissed the top of her head. "It is a long drive. We need to go if we're gonna get there in time for your mother to serve dinner." Nodding she reluctantly released him and spoke with a smile in her voice, "She wasn't too pleased when we were late two years ago." Arthur shook his head dramatically, "Never again."

* * *

Annie easily found Michael in the arrivals terminal of the San Francisco International Airport. He, however, had a hard time spotting her and was still scanning the room when she got within earshot of him. "Hey Michael!"

He turned and looked at her with wide eyes, "Anne. Good to see you." He glanced down at the carry-on she was wheeling behind her, "That your only bag?" Annie nodded and let him take the handle. "Alright, text your sister and tell her we're on our way home." As they walked to the parking deck Annie pulled out her phone and sent Danielle a quick text.

_"You sent Michael to get me?"  
__"He was in the city working late and insisted. I made him promise to be nice. ;P"  
__"If I never get to the house Michael killed me."  
__"Not funny."_

Annie grinned and stowed the phone back in her leather jackets pocket before settling into the passengers seat of Michaels grey Passat.

Twenty minutes later neither had spoken a word. The silence was thick and awkward for both of them. The blonde opted to sit and look out into the darkness of the night. As they merged onto the 80 and crossed the Bay Bridge, Annie noticed a bright light shinning into the drivers side window. "That a lighthouse?" Her curiosity serving to break the tension.

"Yeah that's the Alcatraz lighthouse."

Annie sat back in her seat and looked over at Michael, "They say it's haunted...?'

"Mhmm" the man nodded nonchalantly.

"Is it?"

Muchael chuckled, "Yeah, ghosts of prisoners past and all. In fact if you want you can go take a tour, I'm sure Danielle would be happy to ride the ferry over with you if you feel like going ghost hunting."

Although outwardly laughing at his joke, inside Annie wanted to tell him he didn't have to look that far to find one as she began remembering what it was like to be a ghost. It was like her entire life was now haunted. Her time in the dark a prison in it of itself. The darkness haunted her thoughts, her dreams, her relationships. Inwardly, she cringed wondering if the process was worth it, wondering if it was even possible to beat the ghosts. It's true she now had lights in the harbor guiding her home safely, but the lighthouse only illuminates so much. There is still more darkness than light.

Her brothers voice put a wrench in her melancholy thought process.

"Anne..." She whipped her hair around and met his eyes for a moment before he turned to face the road and went on, "...I hope you don't hate me for how I reacted when you came back."

"No, I...as much as I can, I understand. I'm not angry and I don't blame you. Don't get me wrong it was painful but...understandable and I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I am responsible for keeping my family safe and I've not always done a good job so more than anything I was afraid. I know you lied to protect us and I am grateful and now I am glad you're back. It was hard watching Danielle grieve but..."

"I didn't want to hurt anyone, I..." Annie interrupted him before quickly being cut-off again by Michaels stern, but gentile voice, "Anne, let me finish." Annie closed her mouth and looked at the road ahead, "I was trying to say that I forgive you and I am glad my daughters will have you in their life."

Throwing her eyes to the roof of the car, Annie let out a relieved sigh, "Thank you."

The landscape changed from city to water now to suburbs illuminated dimly by streetlights as they entered San Ramon. They pulled into a gated neighborhood then up to a two-story stucco home. It looked to be twice the size of their home in Georgetown. The cobble-stone driveway led them to enter the garage on the side of the house.

"Your home is...amazing." Annie said in near shock.

Michael shrugged, "I purchased it when I was still digging myself out of the hole I buried myself in with your sister."

"Did it work? Are you out of the hole?" Annie asked with concern as they climbed out of the car.

"You'll have to ask Danielle that but….yes, I think so." He tried to hide a giddy smile by changing the subject, "You will stay in the guest house behind the main house but, Danielle is in the kitchen waiting for you. I'll bring your bag to your room. The kitchen is just inside that door." He pointed and proceeded to walk around to the trunk of the car.

"Another guest house?"

Michael shrugged, "When I bought the house, I knew she was hoping you would move out here someday. After you...died...your father got worse...we discussed moving him out here." Annie narrowed her eyes at her bother-in-law, "Danielle didn't mention that." He shook his head and closed the trunk, "Doesn't surprise me. She knows its hard for you and for her so..." His voice trailed off and he walked past her rolling her bag behind him. Annie let her curiosity determine her next question, "Why didn't you move him?" He un-locked the door in the garage that led to the kitchen and held it open for her, "His doctors told us he was too weak to make the journey. Now go, Danielle has been anxiously waiting for you all day."

Annie smiled and thanked him. Knowing the girls were probably asleep she quietly called out for her sister who came flying down the hall that connected the kitchen to the living room where she had been waiting, "You're here!" She squealed and wrapped her little sister into a tight hug. Annie chuckled, "I'm here" and squeezed Danielle back before pulling away, "The girls asleep?"

Danielle nodded, "They knew you would be here tomorrow. I didn't tell them you were coming tonight or I never would have gotten them to bed. Forget Santa Claus. They have been counting down sleeps till Aunt Annie gets here." Annie grinned from ear to ear. "Please tell me you have ice cream in this massive house." Danielle grinned mischievously and pointed, "in the freezer..." Annie turned to her right and walked around the long tan marble island to open the stainless steel freezer door. "Rocky Road" she said with a grin as she turned to set the cardboard container the island counter behind her. Danielle came to stand beside Annie holding up two metal utensils in her hands, "I have spoons." Annie chuckled, "What, you didn't want to eat with a spatula?" Danielle rolled her eyes remembering the last time they ate ice cream together in the house in Georgetown. She spoke with a voice laced with sarcasm, "Nooo" as she leaned down and placed her elbows on the counter beside Annies.

Michael came in right as Annie stuffed her mouth, "Well that didn't take long." He chuckled at the two blonde women in front of him and walked around to his wife to kiss her goodnight before retreating to his bedroom.

Annie saw the residual redness on her sisters cheek from the kiss, "So, uh...things going well with you two?" Danielle playfully slammed her hip into Annies side and chuckled before returning to her ice cream. They ate in happy silence for a moment before Annie turned to drop her spoon in the sink, "Danielle, did you tell dad that I...that I died? Is that why he got worse and you didn't move him out here?"

He sister froze and stood slowly turning to face Annie, "Michael?" Annie nodded and Danielle sighed, "No, he wouldn't have understood or remembered he had a daughter so his doctors said it was best to just not tell him. He had a stroke around the time you faked your death. He is not doing well so we all decided it was best, for everyone, if he just stayed in Virginia."

Annie nodded and reached to give her sisters arm a squeeze, "I understand." Letting out a deep sigh she continued, "It's late, I'm going to turn in." She started to head to the back door that opened to a pool area behind which the guesthouse stood but spun around before opening the door, "Oh, what time do the girls wake up?"

"They're out of school so hopefully not until 8, but I will start breakfast at 7."

Annie smiled, "Okay, I will see you at 7."

Danielle nodded and watched Annie walk out to the guesthouse. She noted her sisters steps were heavier than normal and knew it was because they had the same thoughts and memories running though their minds. Their dad who cheated on their mom when they were kids, was absent and became an alcoholic when they were teens, and had early on-set of Alzheimers that manifested a year after Danielles wedding. He hadn't remembered he even had daughters, not for the past 6 years. The memories made Danielles stomach ache. She clamped her eyes shut and breathed deeply pushing them out of her conscious mind before heading up to bed.

* * *

**_Back in D.C..._**

It was almost eleven when the three Campbells returned. They were drained from socializing and ready to be home. Joan went straight upstairs to change and feed McKenzie leaving Arthur to bring the Christmas gifts into the house. Half an hour later he came upstairs to find his wife who had put on a silk night dress and removed her makeup and was now putting their happily fed son into his pajamas. Joan picked him up off the changing table and started to bring him to the bedroom but Arthur stopped her, "Put him down in here tonight." Her eyes widened in shock, "He's only a month old and hasn't been sleeping well...I don't..." Arthur interrupted her, "He will be fine and the baby monitor is set up in here." She gave him a confused glare, "Why do I need the baby monitor?" He ignored her question and bent down to kiss his sleepy baby boy goodnight. When he stood again to his full height his blonde wife was still glaring at him, "Put him down, grab the monitor and come downstairs. Trust me." She reluctantly agreed.

It was dim downstairs and Joan could hear the burning wood in the fireplace cracking and popping as she walked down the hall clutching the baby monitor. Rounding the corner she found her husband standing beside a pallet of blankets and pillows he had put together on the floor in front of the glowing fireplace. A few candles were lit around the room. Her mouth was slightly open in shock when she met his gaze, "You said you wanted to curl up with me and a glass of wine in front of the fireplace...?" He said with a question in his voice as he brought both hands from behind his back revealing a bottle of her favorite wine and two glasses. Joan shook her head, "Arthur."

They settled onto the pile of blankets. Arthur using the coffee table and pillows to prop himself up as his wife curled up into his side. Joan sipped on her wine and watched the flames dance over the burning wood. It was quiet. Peaceful. Letting out a sigh of contentment she tilted her blonde head up to look at her husband, "Thank you." He smiled and kissed her softly before pulling her closer to his side. They sat cuddled on the floor, reminiscing about the happy times in the past, imagining their sons future, and enjoying the feeling of being together. Both all too aware of how close they had come to never having this moment. There was a mutual, unspoken awareness of how close they came to loosing it all.

Two hours later, Joan had fallen asleep in her husbands lap and he sat stroking her hair, watching her sleep. When McKenzie's cries came over the monitor shattering the silence of the moment Joan jumped to alertness.

* * *

"Aunt Annie!" Two high pitched voices accompanied by the frantic footsteps of four little feet startled her from her cup of coffee she had been quietly drinking at the kitchen table with Danielle. "Hi, hi, hi!" She slid off the chair and knelt on the tile to catch the two girls in her arms. Tears of joy and relief threatened to dampen her eyes. She squeezed them tightly. "We missed you Aunt Annie!" said Katia, "Yes never leave us again!" Chloe tagged on. Annie held each of them at arms length, "Oh…I missed you too, so so so much but you left me remember?" She asked mischievously and began to tickle the two girls in front of her. "Aunt Annie stop it!" Chloe, who was the more ticklish of the two screeched. Annie giggled and let them catch their breaths, "My you two have grown into beautiful young ladies." She stood and measured each against herself, "Danielle you've got to stop letting my nieces grow up!"

The girls giggled when Danielle responded, "I have no control over that now do I? Okay girls, come get your pancakes."

* * *

**_Christmas Day..._**

By 10am the girls had torn through the presents under the tree. Michael was on the floor with Chloe helping her set-up her new iPod and Katia was somewhere under the pile of wrapping paper. Everyone was still dressed in pajamas and sporting bedhead. Annie and Danielle sat beside each other on the couch across from the fireplace and twelve foot Christmas tree sipping hot cocoa, laughing at the un-folding events of the morning, and planning the schedule for the remainder of the day "Michaels parents live half an hour north of here in Lafayette. We'll need to leave around 4. Dinner will be served at 5."

Annie nodded indicating she understood and took a sip of her cocoa.

"So, what is Auggie doing for Christmas?" Danielle asked feigning innocence.

Annie shot her an annoyed look, "He is with his family."

Danielle made a fish face at Annie before sipping her hot cocoa again. Katia had now gathered all the wrapping paper she could hold in her arms and threw it at Annie, catching her by surprise. Annie chuckled and handed her mug to Danielle, "Oh, I'm gonna get you!" she playfully yelled as Katia ran down the hall screeching with Annie close behind her.

Later that evening the entire Brooks family, along with Annie, were dressed in festive formal-wear and warm winter coats. Remembering her sisters comment about the "very Catholic" in-laws she had chosen a sleeveless black knee-length dress with lace detailing on the neckline. The girls were dressed in red and looked like two Christmas princesses. Michael wore a suit and Danielle in a deep emerald green sheath dress. It reminded Annie of one Joan wore.

They were warmly greeted by Michaels mom, Claudia Brooks at the entrance of the Brooks family home. Michaels father was an affluent banker and Claudia was a history professor at UC Berkeley. A faculty friend of hers at the University of California in San Francisco helped Michael find employment doing research on the schools Healthcare Policy grant along with teaching a handful of graduate level classes there. The grand house made Danielle and Michaels home look as small as Annie's M-Street apartment. When you enter the front door you are immediately met by two winding staircases that lead up to the breezeway on the second story connecting the two wings of the house. The banisters were decorated with lights and garland. A Christmas tree was centered in the foyer and was decorated as elaborately as the rest of the house. Annie felt like she was entering the home of Jolly Old Saint Nick himself.

Claudia in her deep red evening gown pulled Annie into a conversation shortly after they had arrived.

"I haven't seen you in years Anne, you haven't aged a day."

With no one to rescue her from the conversation Annie graciously thanked the woman and returned the compliment. "Michael told us what happened to you in Copenhagen. That must have been terribly frightening. You have had such a rough year." The womans voice was laced with pity. "It was certainly a difficult experience but I'm back and everything is working itself out." Annie responded in as politically correct a manner as she could.

"What have you and Danielle been up to since you arrived?"

"Well, we went into the city the day after I flew in and drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, ate in Chinatown and rode a trolley car." Annie grinned remembering how nervous Danielle had been about the girls riding the trolley in the cold weather. Annie had joked they would just turn into frozen popsicles stuck on the trolley hand-rails. Chloe and Katia thought Annie joke was hilarious, Danielle was not impressed. "Then the girls had a holiday play at their school so I got to see them perform the night before last."

"Yes, we wanted to come see that but Tom had already agreed to being at the Mayors Christmas party."

"Oh, that's unfortunate, they were brilliant."

Claudia smiled politely, "I'm sure they were. So, Michael tells us you work for the National Archives now?"

Annie nodded and took a sip of the champagne in her glass, "I do. I started last week actually."

"Now that must be absolutely fascinating for you with your linguist background."

"It is, I..."

"You know I am a historian here at Berkeley?" She spit out only giving Annie time to nod, "I understand you are working on finding a letter in Russia? I specialize in Eastern European history at the university and would love to help you track it down."

Annie raised a suspicious eyebrow at her, "How do you...?"

Again interrupting the girl, Claudia waved a hand and fluttered on, "Michelle Biram was one of my students years and years ago. She seems to have done very well for herself. A few weeks ago she asked me to help her track down the last known location of the Polesti letter, sorry to say I haven't been much help but you are a bright young woman. Perhaps you will be able to retrieve it." She sighed and looked about the room, "Now, I must tell cook it is time to serve dinner.

Annie nodded and watched the woman in crimson disappear into the kitchen. Danielle came and stood beside her, "That seemed to go better than last time." Annie's thoughts were in another world and it took her longer to respond than Danielle liked, "Annie!" She said firmly startling the girls attention to her and asking cautiously, "It did go well…didn't it?"

Annie shook her head, "Oh, yeah, yeah, she, we talked about work." Danielle raised an eyebrow, "Work or work?" The first word in a light tone, the second in a quiet deep one. Annie put a re-assuring hand on Danielles shoulder and mimicked the light tone, "Work...Excuse me for a minute, I need to make a quick phone call." Danielle nodded and Annie excused herself to the empty library across the hall.

_"Walker? Did you call just to wish me a Merry Christmas. I am flattered"_

Ignoring his attempt at flirting, Annie cut straight to the chase, "Hey Auggie. I just had a strange conversation with Michaels mother about my job."

_"Your NOC?"_ he asked slightly worried.

"Yeah, at the archives, but it was strange, like Michelle had briefed the woman on everything I was working on. Did you know Claudia Brooks was Michelles professor?"

_"Annie, I wouldn't worry about it. You are just on edge. Breathe, end enjoy your last day in California. I will look into it once I get back to D.C. tomorrow."_

"Thanks Auggie. And Merry Christmas."

_"Merry Christmas to you too Walker. See you in a couple of days." _Annie stowed her phone away and quickly made it to the dining room where Claudia had just announced dinner was going to be served.

* * *

Annie entered the room with the luggage carousels and stood waiting for her bag. Her small carry-on, even after being emptied of the girls presents, was not enough to take back all of the gifts her sister and brother-in-law had given her. She had borrowed Danielles suitcase and now stood waiting along with everyone else that had been on the flight into D.C. She unlocked her phone to text and let Joan know she had landed but saw a message from her telling her to turn around. Doing so she saw the three Campbells a few yards behind her out of the way of the mob of passengers. Abandoning the luggage carousel for a moment she walked to greet them.

"Well hey!" She briefly hugged Joan and Arthur asked what her bag looked like before going to retrieve it for her. McKenzie was babbling in his mothers arms. "How was California?"

Annie smiled, "It was great. How was your holiday?"

Joan nodded and looked down at her son, "Much more exciting with this little man. Here, you hold him so I can find the keys."

Annie took McKenzie and gave him an Eskimo kiss, "Hey Mack. How was your first Christmas?" He smacked his lips and Annie nodded as if she understood, "Yes, mine was wonderful too." Joan chuckled at their interaction after finding the keys buried deep in McKenzies diaper bag.

Arthur walked back with Annies bag trailing behind him, "This the right one?"

Annie glanced down and nodded. Joan spoke up, "Okay, then let's get out of here."

Arriving at the Campbells car, Annie put McKenzie in his car-seat and settled into the back-seat behind Joan and Arthur.

"Annie?" Joan twisted in the passenger seat of the car and turned to face her blonde operative, "Why don't you un-pack and come over for dinner? Then you can tell us about San Francisco, and we can update you on a few things. I'm assuming you don't have plans?"

Annie shook her head, "No, I don't but..."

Joan smiled with satisfaction and turned to face the road, "Great. Just let me know when you're on your way" She quickly ended the conversation as they arrived at Annies apartment.

Annie set her jaw and rolled her eyes.

Half an hour later she was nearly finished un-packing when her phone rang. Picking it up she expected it to be Joan asking her to grab something on her way over but, it was a number she hoped she would never again see flash across her eyes. Every emotion she had kept packed away threw themselves at the lid of the box they were locked in threatening to completely take-over Annies body. Gritting her teeth she swallowed them down. After staring at the digits for a moment her thumb tapped green and she took the call.

* * *

_Special shout out to cherithcutestory2 who helped me with my research on the Bay Area! :) If you haven't read her story, "The Auggie Chronicles" you haven't lived and need to ASAP!_


	20. Chapter 20

Anne Catherine Walker.

God has favored me.

Innocent.

That's what her name meant but lying there curled on her side watching the sunset behind the D.C. skyline she felt anything but favored, anything but innocent. The phone sitting on her dresser had vibrated violently for the past two hours. She knew it was Joan wondering where she was. Probably her sister after getting the same call Annie had gotten however many hours ago. Now, the phone was still, her room silent, the city outside her window was beginning to fall asleep. She didn't want to move, didn't want to think, didn't want to feel. She wanted to understand but the emotional and cognitive effort required to think through what the news implied was too much so she settled for numbness.

The silence was broken by a pounding on her door but she didn't move. Didn't flinch. "Annie?!" Auggies panicked voice filled her small apartment, "Annie, I know you're in there and I know about your dad."

Her dad.

Warm, silent tears began to fall down the well-worn paths on her cheek. "Damnit Annie, let me in." She silently screamed in her head, _No, Go away! _He silenced and she thought perhaps she had actually yelled aloud and he had obeyed. A light scratching sound told her the opposite. He was picking the lock. She groaned on the inside knowing it was a matter of minutes before he was inside her sanctuary of silence.

The knob turned and the door hinges squeaked as he slowly pushed it open. Using this cane he swept the area in front of him. _Damn Auggie you should've pulled the apartment layout._ He had never been in her apartment, and had no idea how it was laid out. He shut and locked the door behind him and began slowly and methodically working his way through the space starting with the wall on his right. It ended shortly after it began. Feeling a counter he knew the kitchen was on his right he walked a few paces forward and his hand found a tall bar-stool then his cane hit the corner of what he felt a moment later to be a couch. He ran his cane along the floorboard on his left. Feeling it dip into a doorway he turned and entered the room. He could hear Annies shallow breathing coming from ahead and to the right of the doorway. Tapping his phone he sent Joan a quick text telling her he found Annie before slowly walking toward the sound of her breathing. The end of his cane hit the foot of the bed that was opposite to the bedroom door. Based on the sound, she was on the right side so he bent over and felt around the left side of the bed until he found the nightstand and headboard. His earpiece beeped announcing an incoming text from Joan Campbell. He pressed the button on the device so it would read it, _"Keep me updated."_

Auggie removed the earpiece and left it on the nightstand. He put his cane down on the floor parallel to the bed and climbed up onto it, "Annie?" He heard her breath catch but she didn't respond in words. He gently ran his hand across the bed until he found her curled up on her side facing away from him. Auggie started moving toward her but paused, unsure of what the right thing to do was. He knew she wanted space, wanted him to leave, but he also knew she needed him there. Needed someone there and he was hoping that he was that person. Taking a deep breath he finished weighing his options and determined to hold her. Regardless of how she reacted. He laid himself down behind her and pulled her body against his. Surprisingly she didn't fight him. She let him wrap his arm around her. Let him hold her close. Auggie let out a relieved sigh and whispered, "I'm so sorry Annie." His words induced a series of sobs that shook her entire frame. The right arm wrapped around her tightened and held her close until she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Her phone vibrating on the table beside the bed brought her out of deep sleep. When her eyes first flickered open she thought maybe it had all been another one of her nightmares, but Auggies warm body behind her and his long arm around her waist was evidence it wasn't a nightmare this time.

Her father was dying.

Still, his arm around her felt right. Felt safe. She noticed he still had his coat on. They had fallen asleep on top of the covers, neither had moved since he settled into bed behind her the night before. Annie was still facing the window that overlooked the city beyond her patio. It was dark outside now. The sun hadn't come up yet. The vibrating sound pulled her out of her muse. Annie didn't want to move but she didn't want the phone to wake him so she slowly and carefully slid out from under his arm and picked up the phone. A sob rose in her throat when she saw the caller ID. Sitting on the edge of the bed she heard Auggie stir behind her, "Everything okay?"

"It's the number for his assisted living home."

Auggie sat up, "You need to answer it."

Annie nodded and took the call, "Hello? It is." She gasped at the news. It was the last thing she expected to hear. Auggie used his right hand to find her back to him. He moved closer and wrapped an arm around her waist. She was tense, her breathing was steady but it was a forced calm. "I understand." Ending the call she peeled Auggies arm away to stand and walk around to the other side of the bed so she had more room to pace the floor and sort out her emotions.

"Your dad?"

A half sob, half laugh escaped her lips, "If you can even call him that. He is apparently lucid this morning and wants to see me. The man hasn't known who me or Danielle are in years and now he wants to see me. Ten hours ago, he was dying and not gonna make it through the night...now..." She scoffed and gave the heavy bag hanging in the corner a solid blow.

Auggie was now fully alert and awake. Turning his body around to his side of the bed he hung his long legs off the side and let his head follow the sound of her heavy footsteps, "You're angry with him."

"No"

"I think your heavy bag and neighbors below you would say otherwise."

"I'm not angry."

"So go see him"

"Auggie, That's why I'm not angry with him I don't let myself think about him, I don't see him or talk to him. I can count on one hand how many times Danielle and I have talked about him in the past six years. We try to make him not exist."

"Maybe that's why you should go"

Annie paused the frantic path she was making in the carpet and glared at the man sitting on the edge of her bed. Auggie felt her un-divided attention shift to him so he took the moment to justify his suggestion, "Have you ever wondered why? Why do we try to forget? Why do we think it's a good thing to bury these things? When these things become so much a part of who we are. Annie, you need to go. If you don't you will just ignore it again and never move past it."

Blind or not he felt her intense glare. If looks could kill, Auggie knew he would be a dead man. He reached down with his right arm to where he had set his cane down the night before. Finding it he retrieved it and his earpiece on the nightstand before standing and pulled his phone out of his pocket, "Go pack an overnight bag. You're going to see him and I am going with you." Annie opened her mouth to argue but Auggie kept talking to shut her up, "I need to make a few calls. When I walk back in here, you need to be ready to go."

He started sweeping his cane and exited the bedroom leaving her to herself. Blinking back tears she headed to her closet to pack a bag. Auggie stood still just outside the bedroom until he heard her shuffle around and start packing. It was just after 4am but the calls couldn't wait. He sighed and started dialing the numbers to wake up the people he needed to.

Half an hour later Annie was driving toward Virginia beach where the Home for Veterans with Alzheimer's was. They rode in complete silence. Annie alone with her thoughts and Auggie alone with his worries about the woman sitting a few feet away from him.

It was just after 9am when they pulled into the parking lot. The week before she left the country to travel the world was the last time she had been here. Nothing had changed. The house was a massive two story, yellow building with four white columns lining the front porch. "I came here to see him before I started traveling, just before I met Ben." Auggie shifted uneasily at the name. Annie wrung her hands in her lap and went on, "He thought I was his nurse. Had no idea I was his daughter."

Auggie hung his head, "I'm so sorry Annie."

The blonde beside him exhaled sharply. She had forgotten how heavy the atmosphere was there. It was a sunny morning. Clear skies, but the yellow walls held-in a haunting reality. Not knowing what the home was for you could've driven by it and thought it was a quaint, happy beach home not an assisted living home for people slowly loosing their grip on reality.

For people forgetting.

Annie wished she could forget.

* * *

"You need to understand, it is terminal lucidity. He isn't going to recover. It is like his body has a surge of last minute energy to remember the wrongs he wants to right before he passes." Opala looked up at the pale-skinned woman standing before her wondering what the source of the pain behind her eyes was.

Annie forced her wondering eyes to meet the Native-American womans dark brown eyes. Her fathers caregiver, Opala, was a short, thick woman with dark leathery skin and coarse hair braided over her shoulder. She wore white scrubs and had a lanyard around her neck. The lanyard held her ID and had ten or so colourful butterflies clipped onto it. The bright colours in such stark contrast to the dark of death, Annie had noticed them the moment they walked in the door. Now they had stopped a few feet away from his room so she could tell Annie what to expect.

"I understand" her voice felt small as it resounded off of her vocal chords.

"Will your sister not be joining you?" She asked eying the blind-man holding her elbow.

"No." Annie offered no explanation.

"Miss Walker…"

"Annie, call me Annie please."

The woman nodded and looked up at the blonde woman with narrow eyes, "I don't know what your history with him has looked like. I know there is pain on both sides, I know this is hard for you both but, whatever is causing this conflict in you two, you need to address it before it is too late." Annies eyes wondered down the hall to stare out the window at the end. The woman took Annies pale hands in her hard, dark, calloused ones, "This is your chance for reconciliation and closure..." Annies eyes came back down the hall to meet the womans. She gave Annies hand a squeeze and an encouraging smile before letting her go an disappearing down the hall.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Annie shook her head before remembering who shw as taling too. She turned and whispered, "No...but stay close?"

He nodded and ran a thumb across her cheek.

* * *

Annie was no stranger to death. She had seen multiple dead bodies, but there was something different about a person lying there who expected death and was, in a way, waiting for it to come. The room smelled heavy. The blinds were drawn leaving no evidence of the bright, sunny December day outside. Paul Walker was lying on his back on the bed in the middle of the room. Annie hadn't seen him in six years but he had aged twenty. His hairline had receded, and he was now nearly bald. The deep lines in his face had dug deeper into his skin. The man had lost weight. His frame only a shadow of the man from her childhood she remembered. Tall, blonde hair, dressed in his army uniform. His broad strong shoulders that he used to hoist her up on were now narrow. He looked so small, so weak. She almost felt compassion for him. His breaths were shallow and he had not yet noticed his daughter standing beside him. If it weren't for the steady beeping of the equipment in the room Annie wouldn't have believed he was alive. She wrapped her arms around herself an opened her mouth to whisper his name but the words didn't come. Paul finally sensed her presence and slowly opened his eyes, "Annie?"

She swallowed hard and nodded.

His voice was low and raspy, "I didn't think you would come. Is Danielle, is she here?"

Annie shook her head.

Paul let out a weak sigh and Annie found her voice, "Why am I here?"

"To say goodbye."

Annie bit her cheek and glared at him, "Since when do you say goodbye?" Her mind flashed back to the morning she woke up and he was gone. They would see him a handful of times after that. Graduations, weddings, and at every big life event he was cold, hard, and drunk.

"Annie will you sit?"

"No." Her response was harsh, her stance stubborn.

A tear fell from his eye, "I know you're angry and you have every right to be….."

"You're right I do. You left us. Then conveniently forgot all of it." Her body shook with anger.

"I know and that is why I wanted to see you. I remember. Annie will you sit down, please?"

She let out a shaky breath and pulled the chair from the corner to sit at his bedside. Her posture was rigid as she awaited his explanation.

"I want to ask your forgiveness." His voice cracked and the single tear that had fallen was accompanied by a steady stream. Annie had never seen him cry. "The night I left, the night I abandoned you, I came home drunk. Your mom….asked where I had been and I told her the truth. We got angry and I…I hit her. Hard." His features were full of shame and regret. He took a long pause to catch his breath. "I surprised myself, the way my anger took over. She told me to leave and I knew it was best if I did. I drank to forget what I had done to her, to you girls. My memory slipping was like a blessing at first... I didn't want to remember."

"It's too late to make it right."

"Maybe, but I hoped we could…."

"Hoped we could what? Come to a point of reconciliation? Catch up on life?" Her tone was no longer weak with emotion, it was fierce with anger. "You want to die in peace?" She was panting, her anger using all of the oxygen in her lungs, "I will never be able to forgive you."

"Annie I am sorry. I hope you know I love you, you're my daughter and…."

She stood abruptly, "No, I haven't been your daughter for a long time. I'm sorry but I'm not doing this."

Turning she left his room. She heard him call her name but ignored it. She saw Auggie rise to comfort her but ran past him. She couldn't breathe in that building. Opala watched her swiftly exit and come to rest on a rocking chair on the porch. He blind partner was slowly making his way down the hall she had just torn through. Opala offered him a lead, "She is very angry." He nodded as he followd her, "He abandoned her and her sister, I can't say I blame her." The woman paused and looked up at his blank eyes, "I know she is hurt, but he won't be here long. Forgiveness is for her as much as it is for him." Auggie nodded in agreement, "I know. I'll talk to her." Opala continued toward the door Annie had burst through before giving him a brief description of the decks layout and leaving them alone.

"Annie?" He asked quietly and cautiously.

"It's not fair. He thinks because he's dying he can just come back into my life and expect me to call him daddy and forgive him. It's not fair."

"No it isn't and it isn't fair for you to live the rest of your life angry. If you don't let this go if you don't forgive that man you will regret not taking advantage of this moment for the rest of your life. Forgiving him doesn't dismiss what he did but it, it lets you live beyond what he did." She let out an exasperated sigh. "Annie please try..."

Annie ran a hand through her hair and looked up at the man standing in front of her. "I hate him." Auggie nodded with understanding and opened his arms motioning for her to come to him. She stood and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. He stroked her hair and held her as she cried. "You're exhausted Annie, lets go check-in to the hotel. We can come back later. If you want too." She nodded and led him back to the corvette.

* * *

They did return, later that afternoon after getting a call he had slipped into a coma and it wouldn't be long. Annie woke from her nap with some clarity and surprised Auggie when she willingly returned to her fathers bedside. This time making him come with her. He sat in a chair against the wall while she sat in a chair pulled to rest against his bed. As she watched him breathe slowly, watched him slipping further and further away from her. She let herself remember. Remember the time spent traveling around the country and around the world. Every new place he would paint as a new adventure for them. Those earlier experiences shaped her into who she was today. He love of languages and travel, her passion to see justice in the world. For all his failures he had given her that. Given her a belief tomorrow would be better than today. As much as she hated him, she knew Auggie was right. Forgiveness wasn't about negating what he did to her, it was about freeing her to move past what he did.

In slow motion she reached for his hand. It was limp but warm. Annie scooted to the edge of her seat and leaned to whisper in his ear, "Dad...I forgive you." Annie thought she saw his lips twitch to form a smile then suddenly the steady beeping flat lined into a blaring siren. Annie stood and squeezed his hand leaning over his face. "No, you can't go….." She reached for his shoulders and shook his limp body, "You can't...You can't leave me yet!" She was yelling but she didn't care. "You can't abandon me again!" In an instant anger turned to grief and a steady stream of tears began to flow down on her cheeks. Auggie stood and found her leaning over the bed. Using his strong arms he pulled her off of her father and wrapped her in his arms. She violently fought his embrace but quickly realized his strength would win so she became still and melted into him. Opala ran into the room hearing the commotion and turned off the monitors. She covered Pauls face with the sheet as she said a prayer. Auggie had relaxed his grip on Annie and she took the moment to rip herself out of his arms and leave the room.

Auggie shouted after her, "Annie!" Opala walked around the bed to offer him a lead, "I will find her." Walking him over to a couch in the foyer she left him sitting there and turned to find his blonde friend.

Annie walked down the boardwalk to the beach and sat herself on the sand. It was cold and she had no coat but she didn't care. Pulling her knees to her chest she watched the waves wash over the shore as waves of grief washed over here. Opala had watched her journey out to the beach through the floor to ceiling window and slowly followed behind taking time to put on her own coat and grab a blanket for the grieving daughter. She watched Annie from a few yards away until she saw her shoulders cease to shake with sobs. Opala sighed and moved to drop the blanket over her shoulders and to sit beside the young blonde. Annie pulled the cloth closer around her but her eyes never left the water. Opala let the girl continue to ignore her persistent presence. Annie broke the silence, "He is gone forever now." The dark head beside her nodded, "Yes."

Opala un-clipped a small green butterfly from her lanyard and reached for Annies clenched fist. Carefully she pried it open and placed it into Annies hand. Annie looked at the object then the woman with a confused stare.

"There is a legend of the Lenape people that the Creator made butterflies after people experienced the sadness of death. Their sorrow made him sad so he created something new using all of the colours of the world that he had gathered. The butterflies brought joy back to the people. These little birds carry all of the colours of the world in silence. They are meant to be a reminder of the joys in life. Of the freedom of joy. The sorrow and darkness can only last so long. Morning will come, and with it colour and joy. A new day. A new beginning."

Annie listened to her words and turned the butterfly over in her hand.

"Your father loved you Annie." The girls eyes met Opalas. "And he cared enough about you to try to make things right. Never forget that."

Annie nodded and leaned over into Opalas open arms. The woman stroked Annies blonde hair and held her as she sobbed, "Oh, Shh, Shh, it will be okay Annie. You will be okay."

* * *

"Are you ready?"

Annie glanced once more at the casket and nodded as she tapped the back of Auggies hand. Finding her elbow covered by her black trenchcoat he followed her lead out of the graveyard. Opening her clenched fist she stared down at the the green butterfly that Opala had placed in her hand 48 hours ago. Danielle and Michael had already said their goodbyes and left. Annie knew they would be halfway to the airport by now. She and Auggie slid into the back-seat of the Camapbells Land-Rover with McKenzies car seat between them. Annie reached her hand and let him grasp her finger. Silently watching the baby as the rode across town the priests words echoed in her mind,

_"Grant this mercy, O Lord, we beseech Thee, to Thy servant departed, that he may not receive in punishment the requital of his deeds who in desire did keep Thy will, and as the true faith here united him to the company of the faithful, so may Thy mercy unite him above to the choirs of angels.  
__Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."_

There was no viewing. There were no speeches from the pulpit of a church made to a congregation of family and friends. Just the six of them and a priest meeting at the grave. It felt like a dream to Annie. Like she was having an out of body experience. She never imagined grieving her fathers death. She was tired of death. This year had been full of it. Jai, Simon, Teo, Henry, Helen, in a way, Jessica, and now her father.

_"May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace."_

Mercy of God. Looking down at the baby boy she saw mercy, peace. She had chosen to forgive her father. She held his hand as he passed. She had relayed his apology to her sister and cried with her until they ran out of tears. Now she had walked away from his grave. But she hadn't yet found peace. What scared her the most was the feeling of isolation. Knowing she was home, safe and not literally alone but still isolated by her grief, by her experiences.

_"The sorrow and darkness can only last so long. Morning will come"_

Opalas words echoed in her mind. Looking at the butterfly she wondered how long the darkness would last.

* * *

Joan watched Annie and Auggie get out of the car and walk into Annie's apartment building. Her operatives eyes were blank. Her posture was rigid like she had just received an order she didn't agree with. The timing of Paul Walkers death frustrated Joan. It was is if Annie had been thrown back into the darkness she had just begun to emerge from and this time it wasn't her and Arthurs place to help her find her way out. It was Auggies and as happy as she was that Annie had let him back in her life she worried now more than ever. Arthur sensed her tension and reached to take her hand as they drove away, "She will be okay."

"What makes you so sure?" she tilted her head to the side and pleaded for an explanation with her eyes.

"She is a survivor and she has Auggie. Love is a powerful thing."

Joan nodded and looked ahead with a weak smile, "But will it be powerful enough?"

He squeezed her hand and ran his thumb over her wedding band, "It was for us."


	21. Chapter 21

Upon waking, it took Auggie a moment to remember where he was and why he was lying so close to the edge of the bed. Realization hit him, he was at Annies. Reaching for the nightstand he retrieved his watch to discover it was just after 6am. He yawned and stretched his long frame out on the bed discovering it completely empty except for him. Auggie wondered how long she had been up. He then let out a low groan as his neurons started firing the signals that reminded him of all of the missions in play and everything that needed to be done. Calder had covered for him so he could help Annie with the funeral, but today he was going to have to go into the office. All day. Leaving Annie alone with her grief. All Day.

They came back from the funeral the night before and she had barely spoken a word since except to give him permission to sleep in her bed instead of on the couch. He had insisted on staying with her since her father died. For two reasons one being he worried less with her close and two it was an excuse to be with her. She had every right to be guarded and un-sure about him but there had to come a day she would stop pushing him away and realize a life with Helen was not what he awanted. He wanted Annie. Only Annie.

Hearing her in the kitchen shuffling around he grabbed his slacks and button-down from his bag and found his way into the bathroom where he changed into his work clothes form his pajama pants and t-shirt.

Entering the kitchen fully dressed he moved toward the sound of her pouring a cup of what he smelled to be coffee.

"Morning Walker."

Annie walked toward him and put the mug in his hand before picking up her own and leaning against the counter.

"I have to go into Langely today. Will you be okay here on your own?"

She gave him a weak smile that he couldn't see but she knew would help her tone sound more convincing, "I'll be fine. I'm not staying here all day anyway. I need to go to the archives."

Using his hand he felt the counter to find an empty space to set his cup down. Crossing his arms over his chest he pointed his face toward the opposite side of the kitchen where her voice was coming from. "You don't have to go in. Michelle said you could work from home as long as you needed too."

"I know but I'm trying to build a solid NOC and she doesn't trust me. The more I'm in the office the faster she will be comfortable with me." Annie sipped her coffee then held the warm mug by her stomach.

"Do you even have any new leads on the letter?"

"I do."

He raised an surprised eyebrow, "You do?"

"I do. It was purchased by a man using a false name, Sergei Nomanov. That is where Claudia and Michelle hit a dead end. They didn't connect him to the other purchases he has made across Eastern Europe. I followed his movements, his money, and found his real name, Octavian Popescu."

"And when did you do all of this research?"

Annie sighed, "Last night. I couldn't sleep."

Auggies brow furrowed as he scolded himself. How did he not hear her get out of the bed? How is it even possible he didn't realize she was gone?

"Great, write up a report or whatever it is you do and stay here so you can rest. Better yet come hang out at Langley with me for the day. It's gonna be a long one. I might be there all night." His tone held sarcasm but Annie's anger was quickly creeping into her tone of voice.

"Auggie I don't need you to entertain me or act as my overnight babysitter. I need to work. I need something to do other than sit in this quiet apartment all day." Regret stabbed her gut immediately after she realized the effect her words had on the man standing across from her. She was trying to trust him and didn't want to push him away but it seemed to be all she did lately.

Auggie stepped forward and grasped her elbows, "I'm sorry you feel smothered. I'll go home tonight whenever we finish up." He paused as if waiting for her to ask him to stay but she was silent so he let out a deep sigh, "And Annie, I'm not gonna argue with you because I know it won't do any good, but, just promise me you won't overdo it?"

Annie nodded, "I'd promise but I'm fine."

Auggies cell phone in the bedroom began announcing he had an incoming call. "That's Langley."

Pouring the rest of her coffee down the sink Annie glanced up at him one more time, "You should take it" as she headed into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

* * *

Annie arrived at the archives just after 8am. Her small, dark, musty office just the way it had been when she left it. Sitting down at her desktop she busied herself typing up a report for Michelle. The night before she had emailed another analyst to get a template for the report. Half an hour later she took the freshly printed report and left it with Michelles secretary. The busy work was successful in keeping her mind from wandering. As long as she wasn't still the memories and the grief were manageable.

Back in her office she started looking for a way to contact Popescu. Normally she would give the name to Auggie or Barber and they would just find him for her. When she was dark however, she had to get creative as she lacked Langley as a resource. She rested her elbows on the edge of the antique desk and her forehead in her palms as she tried to think of a legal, legitimate way to find the information she needed. Her thoughts were interrupted by Michelle Biram bursting through her office door.

"Octavian Popescu?" She said in an annoyed tone.

"Morning Michelle."

The woman didn't return her greeting but instead forged on digging deeper into the file she had read, "He purchased the letter?"

Annie held back a grin feeling thankful for the way Michelle treated her like a normal person. Everyone had been walking on egg-shells with her and this woman seemed to not be worried at all. Michelle Biram was her same, harsh, all-business self. It was a relief to Annie. "You already knew that." She responded with a smirk on her face.

"I did?" Her eyebrow was lifted over her dark eye that glared at Annie.

"The information you got from Claudia Brooks about the buyer wasn't a dead end." Annie used the moment to inquire on how Claudia knew all about her. She looked at the woman suspiciously. "She was your professor?"

Michelle looked up from the file, "Yes. I realized your relation to her when I read over your Smithsonian personnel file. Sorry. I should've told you."

Shaking her head dismissively Annie went on, "No, I mean, it would've saved me an awkward conversation over cocktails but nothing too…." Michelle's annoyed glare urged Annie to get back to business "….sorry, the Russian name, Sergei Nomanov pops up all over eastern Europe making purchases. Everything from historical artifacts, to modern art, to ancient weaponry. I looked at the account information used by Sergei when he made each purchase and followed the money to his real name, Popescu. He's your buyer."

"But likely not the letters final destination."

Annie shook her head, "No. I'm looking into who he may have sold it too. It would be easier if I knew how much he got for the letter."

"Your sisters mother-in-law could probably give you a pretty accurate appraisal."

Annie looked up with feigned surprise, "I wasn't sure I could talk to her about this….I'm new to this whole clearance thing but isn't the letter classified? So I can't tell her?"

Michelle shook her head, "Claudia has a clearance and since we need her help she has need to know." Michelle looked down at her watch, "It's only 5am there. Call her in three hours? Then go home Annie."

Annie looked up at her, "Go home? I was going to…."

The short, intimidating dark-haired woman in front of her interrupted Annies argument fiercely, "You're boyfriend told me about your loss, and while I am glad to have you back this is work you can do from home."

Annie started to argue, "I'm really…"

"I know you're fine…." Her interruptions were beginning to annoy Annie, "…humor me. Call Claudia, go home and rest. I don't want you to burn yourself out." Waving the file in the air she grinned at the blonde, "You're good at this." Annie weakly smiled back and watched Michelle close the door behind her. So much for being like a normal human being. Michelle Biram did not strike Annie as one to send anyone home early, ever. It's not that she particularly wanted to be there in that dusty old office but it was better than being in the apartment by herself. She could probably go into Langley and hide-out on a foreign-watch-desk analyzing chatter but Auggie would somehow find out she was in the building and send her home. She loathed the way everyone treated her like a china doll. It's not like she lost someone she was close too. Danielle always said Annie was their dads favorite. Mostly because she was more adventurous than her older sister. She was the tomboy and subsequently the son Paul Walker never had. But in the end, he left them both. Who was the favorite was completely irrelevant. She didn't know the man so why was she so raw? Why was letting go so hard? Annie groaned and pulled up an electronic copy of the Russian newspapers to read through until it was time to call Claudia.

* * *

_"Annie I am surprised to hear from you."_

"I am following up on a lead on the Polesti letter."

_"And you need my help."_ Claudia's tone was cocky and Annie rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Michelle said you could give me an estimate on how much the letter would have sold for."

_"Why do you need to know what it sold for?"_

Annie sighed. She was trying to leave as many details out of the conversation as she could but the woman was going to pry it out of Annie and the blonde CIA operative had neither the patience nor the mental capacity to deceive the woman, "The buyer you found, Sergei Nomanov..."

_"Yes I got that name from the man who sold the letter but he was a ghost."_

"Well, yes and no. He uses that name to purchase items all over Europe and then sell them to private collectors for a profit."

_"Ah, you recognized him from your import export days?"_

Annie's guard flew up, her import export NOC wasn't really a secret but it wasn't general knowledge either. "No, I cross referenced the times his name popped up with known dealers and Sergei Nomanov is really Octavian Popescu."

_"Popescu? That is a Romanian name."_

"It is. It's possible the letter is back in Romania. I can get access to Popescu's financials and I think if I can match an amount in his account to ..."

She interrupted, like student like teacher, _"To the amount the letter could've been sold for then you can find the buyer. Clever."_

"Thanks."

_"I have a 9am class to teach but I will work on getting you an estimate right after I finish up. I'll have it to you by close of business my time."_

"Sounds good."

_"Oh, and Annie, before you go..."_ Annie could hear the woman's tone change and become sympathetic or more like pathetic. She braced herself mentally for the apology that made no sense to her even after hearing it over and over the past few days, _"I'm so sorry for your loss."_

How do you respond to that? I'm sorry for your loss. I apologize you lost someone. It's not like Claudia killed her father so why is that the socially acceptable response. "I am too. Bye Claudia."

Annie hung up the phone and suddenly getting away from the office seemed like a good idea. Getting in her car she drove toward Arlington. It was like a magnet pulling her across the Patomac. Annie drove slower and slower the closer she got. Pulling up to the gate she grabbed a parking ticket. Finding a parking spot, Annie turned the car off. When she did it was as if she lost all ability to move. She sat frozen, watching from behind her windshield.

People were milling in and out of the Arlington National Cemetery parking lot. Fewer than usual because of the cold December temperatures but enough to keep Annie entertained. She watched people hesitantly move toward their loved ones graves. They looked solemn, afraid, even sad but in control. Some emerged from the graveyard relieved, others completely devastated. The temperature in the car was quickly becoming un-comfortably cold. She thrust her hands into her trench coat pockets and felt the butterfly from Opala. Her breath caught and she quickly moved her hands back up to the steering wheel. Starting the car Annie determined she couldn't do this. Not yet. So she drove mindlessly around Arlington until it felt familiar and her mind felt clear.

* * *

Auggie sat at his desk fighting a war in his mind. One side wanted to worry about Annie, the other wanted to attack this growing mound of paperwork on his desk.

Eric Barber noticed his friends heavy silence and rolled his chair across the room until he came as close to the man as he dared, "Hey boss?"

Auggie let out a sigh and removed his headphones, "What is it Barber?" There was an edge in his voice he didn't intend to convey but it was heard by everyone in a close vicinity.

"You okay man?" Concern laced the bearded techies words.

"Yeah fine."

"Worried about Annie?"

Auggie turned the shocked expression on his face so Barber had a clear view, "Yes Barber. Now do you actually need something or are you just trying to initiate small talk?"

"Geeze Auggie, don't have to be so defensive. But since you asked...both."

"Sorry Barber, what do you need."

"Well I looked into Claudia Brooks and Michelle Biram for you."

"What did you find?" He asked leaning back into his chair and clasping his hands in his lap.

"Well, Claudia was Michelles professor for a handful of her graduate classes, and uh, Michelle was definitely the teachers pet."

Auggie sat up intrigued, "How so?"

"Well, Claudia let Michelle in on every research project she was working on. Every paper she published referenced Biram as a research assistant. And get this, Claudia knew someone who knew someone who knew the director of the National Archives who gave Michelle her first job."

"Yeah and..."

"And that's all I've got." He almost felt guilty, but not really.

"You interrupted me to tell me something I already know?"

"Like I said man, my purpose was two fold, to tell you something and initiate small talk."

Auggie rolled his eyes and pulled on his headphones, "Get back to work Barber and let me know if you find anything that I actually need to know."

* * *

Annie nearly laughed at herself when she arrived at her next destination. Not sure where to go or what to do she had let her subconscious lead the way. Navigating on pure instinct. Somehow she ended up here. Pulling up to the curb, Annie put the car in park and debated if she really wanted to knock on the door. In spite of the debate in her mind, her body seemed to have decided to go inside because the next thing she knew her fist was slamming into the cold door. The temperature made the impact of her hand on the door painful.

A few seconds later Arthur answered the door.

He quickly wiped the surprised look off his face and opened the door for Annie to come inside. Once the cold was shut behind the door Annie blew on her frozen hands and looked up at her former boss as he walked around to face her, "It is good to see you Walker. Did you take the day off work?"

Annie crossed her arms and shook her head, "No, I went in to do some cover maintenance but I'm done for the day."

"How'd it go?"

"Uh, fine. I'm making good headway on my first project."

"Good to hear. I was just about to pour myself a finger of scotch. Would you care for some?"

"Sure….Is Joan home?"

He nodded as he turned to pour their drinks, "She is but she has started napping when McKenzie does in the middle of the day. Do you need me to go get her?" He asked as he held out the glass for her to take.

Annie shook her head and looked for an excuse to leave, "Oh, no….no…I'm…actually, I'm gonna go. I was just coming by to..." He held a glass toward her and motioned for her to take it as he interrupted her, "They will wake up any minute and she will want to see you. Come sit." He motioned for her to follow him into the living room. Still wrapped in her trench coat she settled onto the couch across from him and sipped her drink. She did her best to avoid eye contact knowing he was going to ask how she was doing, how she was coping. She knew she would be forced to talk, the very thing she had been avoiding doing with Auggie for the past 72 hours so why did she come? She had no idea.

"Walker..." Annie looked at him wide-eyed with the word fine on the tip of her tongue in anticipation of the question, "...are you okay?" The cliché response never became an audible sound. Instead she silently shook her head and looked at the floor in attempt to hide the warm tears pooling behind her eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry."

Arthur set his glass down and leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees, "Why are you sorry?"

"I don't know." She said peering into the glass in her hand. It was true she had no idea what was wrong with her. When her eyes came back up to meet him the tears began spilling out onto her cheeks. She poked out her bottom lip and blew air up frustratedly as she ran a hand through her hair. "How is it I can feel so furiously angry at life but afraid of it at the same time?" What were these words coming out of her mouth? She was on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Why couldn't she keep it together?

His brow furrowed as his eyebrows arched. Concern, sympathy, understanding all crossed his face and took over his features. Setting his scotch glass down he stood and took a seat on the couch beside his former operative giving her space but letting her know he was there, "Annie, you lost your father and now you're grieving. You're gonna feel a lot of things you don't want to feel." That familiar pain of regret stabbed his heart as he remembered his son. He understood the anger and fear all too well. For the sake of the broken young woman sitting beside him, he pushed his own emotions to the back of his mind and focused on hers. "Let yourself grieve."

With bloodshot eyes, Annie glared over at him, "How do I grieve someone that I never knew? Everyone says they're sorry for my loss, my loss of what? I didn't loose anything so why does this hurt? Why do I miss the man?" Tears began to flow in a steady un-controllable stream. Arthur put an arm over her sounders and let her cry onto the arm of his sweater. He gripped her shoulder and waited for her charged emotions to subside. Annies sobs began to slow and lessen in intensity. When they did she pulled away, "I'm sorry, I..."

He shook his head, "That's what I'm here for." Annie looked away and wiped the moisture off her cheeks.

Arthur waited for her to look at him again before he continued, "Your dad loved you Annie. Dad's aren't perfect. Hell, men in general aren't perfect." Annie chuckled awkwardly and Arthur went on, "You lost far more than just an absent father this year..." He looked at her pointedly and decided to go there, "nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person you thought would never hurt you..." Annie's mind flashed back to Helens apartment then to Dr. Petersons comparison of her situation with Auggie to her past with her father. He was right, she had never felt so disappointed in her entire life.

"Auggie" She whispered his name and bit her lip as Arthur nodded.

"Annie, you have seen first hand what a terrible husband and father I have been. I regret I couldn't give you and Auggie a better model to look at but here is what I have learned…Disappointment, betrayal, every lie creates a wound. Even when the truth is exposed and the skin heals the deeper wound remains hidden under the skin and that is what hurts. Honesty, forgiveness, vulnerability, they go a long way in alleviating that pain."

Annie nodded and sat in silence for a moment, "Thanks"

He shook his head dismissively and stood grabbing his empty glass and hers, "Anytime. I'm gonna go check on Joan..."

Standing quickly Annie turned to face where he was walking toward the kitchen, "No, no…don't wake her. I, uh, I know she needs sleep and I need to go anyway. Tell her I stopped by?"

"You sure?"

Annie nodded and started toward the door "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright, I will. Oh, but Walker, Do you and have plans for new years?"

"No, I hadn't even thought about it."

"Good, Joan was gonna invite you but you and Auggie are welcome to spend New Years here. In fact I insist. Telling Joan she missed you but that I convinced you to come for the holiday will keep me out of the dog house."

Annie laughed, "Yeah I'll check with Auggie but go ahead and tell her we're coming."

His dark haired head nodded before he moved into the kitchen leaving Annie in the foyer. A moment later Arthur heard Annie let herself out the front door. Putting the glasses into the dishwasher he left the kitchen and headed upstairs to check on his wife. Reaching the landing on the second floor he turned to his left to head to their bedroom but was startled by Joan who was casually leaning against the wall where the hall met the staircase. Her arms were crossed and she had that smug grin on her face. For a moment he stuttered in surprise but quickly came to realize she likely woke when Annie knocked and had stood listening to the whole conversation. "Why didn't you come down?"

Shooting him a sly look from the corner of her eye she responded, "Because she needed to hear all that from you, not me."

"So, did I say it right?" He asked sarcastically.

Joan nodded, "You did. I underestimated your ability to read people Arthur."

He shrugged and positioned himself in front of her so she was sandwiched between him and the wall, "I am a spy"

She nodded and spoke with a sarcastic tone, "Yeah...?" He brushed a kiss over her lips and whispered, "Yeah." She kissed him back but raised an un-impressed eyebrow, "And?"

"And what?" his voice carried feigned offense, "I'm a spy, so I'm trained to read people."

Rolling her eyes she squeezed past him, "Never seemed to help you before."


End file.
